The Sub

"So is this it?" His eyes cast down. No attempt to meet mine again. "I don't know. I think it is." I reply. His back turns and then it hits me. It's over. No matter how much it hurts. It's the memories I crave, and the future I crave. I can't be what he wants. He can't be what I want. "This is it."


5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5
                "Spill it." I say instantly as we make our way into my kitchen. I drop my keys on the counter next to the pizza box.
                "Can't we eat first?" Alexa teases with a smirk plastered on her face.
                "Sure, but then I might just have to tell everyone about the pool party at Miranda's house freshman year..." I say innocently and grab two plates for us.
                "You wouldn't dare!" Her eyes go wide.
                "Oh but I would." I say and take a slow bite of pizza. "Spill it." I say after swallowing my food.
                "So Cameron has been talking a bunch about a certain girl... Someone I know very very very well." She says smiling. "I think he might ask her out tonight. Maybe even, ya know. Have a little fun with her."
                I stand there not making a movement. I know she's talking about me. Cameron practically has been attached to my hip every moment he is near me. "I am not going to sleep with Cameron. We're just friends." I say guiding my eyes anywhere but her. She's so naive sometimes.
                "Why not? You might be the only virgin at school." She teases and my cheeks turn read.
                "Stop it, okay?" I say quietly. I'm not sure why but she's upset me. So what if I haven't had sex yet. It's my choice; no one else's.
                "I'm sorry Jacey; I don't mean to offend you..."
                "Well you did. Let's just change the subject." I say and stuff my face with pizza so I don't have to talk much more.
                Another drink is put in my hand. God only knows what's actually in this one. I drank the last one I was given, it was terrible. I'm not even going to smell the contents of this one. I lay it on the counter and make my way through the crowded house. Alexa is on the couch next to some guy, he looks like he's older than us. I for sure do not know him.
                "Come sit, Jacey!" I turn to see where exactly I heard my name being yelled. I see Cameron standing in the doorway of what looks to be the lounge maybe?
                I push through people once again. Jeez, how many people does Cameron know? (Italics) Finally I make it to the doorway where Cam is. "Hi," I say and follow him in.
                The room is quite large. There is a cream sofa sitting in the middle of the room facing sliding glass doors that look out to the backyard. The room is remotely quiet, well compared to the loud music blaring throughout the rest of the house. There is a flat screen television mounted on the wall to my right. Underneath it is a dark brown mini bar. Beside it are some very abstract art pieces. The room is very chic.
                "I figured you'd rather be in here away from everyone." Cameron tells me. I nod. "Come, sit with me." He takes my hand guiding me to the couch. We both sit on the couch. "Do you want another drink?" He asks me.
                "Uh..." Do I?
                "It's a party. Come on; let me get you a drink." He persuades. I nod my head yes. What is happening to me? I follow him to the mini bar; he begins mixing different drinks into a glass. He hands it to me. I hesitantly take a sip. Oh, this is really good.
                "What is this?" I ask before downing the last bit of it.
                "Something I made up last year." He says and his cheeks turn a light pink.
                "Well, I'd love another one." I hand him the glass as he laughs mixing me a second. I notice he makes himself something. I feel lighter. It's definitely the amount of alcohol in my body. I feel very giggly also. Hmm, do I like this, or not?
                "Want to go back and sit on the couch?" Cameron asks me. I nod. When I go to stand I stumble and almost fall. I grasp on to... to something? Cameron. 
                "Sorry," I begin giggling, "I'm such a..."
                "It's perfectly fine," he cuts me off before I finish. "You're safe with me." He grins then bites his lip to stop it.
                He leads me back to the couch and we sit once more. We talk casually about school and our families. He makes me a few more drinks and now I know I'm completely and utterly drunk. I'm not sure if I like this feeling or not.
                "You look lovely tonight," Cameron's words should affect me in a way, shouldn't they? But they don't, I just smile. I barely utter a thank you. "You're so beautiful," he whispers getting closer to me.
                "Cam, what are you..." Before I can finish my question his lips are pressed against mine. They taste like beer and mint. I don't know how to react at first. His body is pressed against mine. I push him away.
                "Come on, Jacey, it's just a little fun." He's now tugging at the bottom of my dress.
                "Stop it!" I command and try to push him off of me. He doesn't budge. "Cameron please, stop!" I try again.
                "What? I thought you liked me?" He says. Even in my drunken state I can tell he is partly sober. Sober enough to know I might be willing to do things with him.
                 "I'm going to go find Alexa," I state standing up. I feel the room skin again. I shake my head to clear it. I want to go home. Now. I hear Cameron calling my name but I ignore him. It’s really easy to shrink into the crowd of sweaty bodies.
        This time it’s a different voice. I still ignore whoever it is. Alexa is nowhere to be found. Great, just great! She has my damn car keys. I’ll just walk home. It’s about half a mile from here, and I’m drunk anyways. I could end up killing myself if I attempted to drive home.
        I finally turn back to see who it is.
        Oh my God! 


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