Afraid to open my eyes

*contains rape and violence*
*trigger warning*
There is a one bedroom flat in the middle of an estate full of drug dealers. In that flat, there is a mother a father and a small boy.
The father is hardly ever home and sleeps with whomever he pleases, never the mother though, unless he is raping her. He is an alcoholic and an abusive thug. Overall bad person. Terrible father and husband. About 45.
The mother, well she is abusive to her son because she takes out her anger out on him. She has undiagnosed schizophrenia and abuses heroine. Also an alcoholic. Was beautiful once but now she is bruised and disfigured. She has very visible track marks down her arms. About 23-24 gave birth at 16.
The son is a child of rape, 7-8 years old. Mute. Gets beaten by his parents and has no school. There is no record of him anywhere, never been to the doctors, has no medical treatment or record. No birth certificate, nothing.


2. despoilment

“Bitch! Bitch? Where the fuck is my needle?”
The front door slammed and heavy footsteps shook the walls. She cowered in her bed, shaking as the small boy went to find his father. She’d taken it all. Her head was banging as the man’s tantrum vibrated the floor.
“Where is your mother? Where the fuck is she you little cunt?”
The sickening thud was like flesh hitting concrete. She guessed he had thrown the child against the wall when he didn’t answer. Deeper and deeper she wanted to sink. Away from what she knew came next.
The bed shook.
“I know you're awake... and I know what you did with my needle. And I think you know what comes next don’t you”
She did. Agonizing pain.
Terror began to overtake the numbness that filled her head. She couldn’t move. He was breathing heavily into her ear, making the skin on her bony neck moisten.  She could smell his rancid breath, alcohol and weed. It overpowered her as he ran his hands up under the blanket, ripping off her pants. She had nothing else on and she was regretting it.
He was dragging her limp body towards him; she was too high and too terrified to fight him that night. She closed her eyes as he bit her legs, raking over her flesh, making it bleed. And she began to scream as he pushed inside of her without warning. She felt like she was on fire, going to pass out or die.
“STOP...stop” she attempted to stutter, pulling together words and trying to push him off...
“You deserve this you filthy slut” he muttered as he fucked her into the bed.
She began to throw up over herself. The smell of vomit and sweat and everything else filled the room. It pulsated out of her mouth and he punched her in the face, cracking it like a porcelain doll. Her eyes flew open as he began to ram into her harder and she screamed out. It was a long, drawn out howl. It was the sound of a soul splitting.
“That’s it you little bitch”
Suddenly he stopped, pulling out and his trousers up. He slapped her twice and strode to the door.
“Clean up you disgusting whore. You filthy, filthy bitch whore. “
And he left.
And she curled up, in a mess of blood and vomit.
She didn’t want to live anymore.

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