3. Anger Issues
I frantically woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Whose number is this? I didn’t recognize the number at all… I quickly slid the answer on my screen to stop the wretched noise, and placed the phone to my ear.
“Hmm, who is this?” I said in a very low tone. I was still half asleep.
“Hello there Love. Good morning!” His deep tone woke me straight up. We hadn’t talked in a week.
“How’d you get my number?”
“Dave got it for me. I thought I’d never talk to you again. I should have gotten your number before you left the flat last week…” He sounded hesitant. “I hope I didn’t overstep. I just wanted to hear from you again.”
“That’s fine. It’s good to hear from you again.” Why was he calling me so early? I looked at my bedside clock that read six thirty a.m. “Why are you up so early?”
“I have an interview for a new job position this morning. I was going to see if you could do something afterwards?”
“Well I have University until noon. I’m taking summer sessions. I can call you after my session ends.”
“Okay! Can’t wait!”
“Alright, I’m going to get ready for session. Talk to you later.”
“Oh, good luck on your interview! Bye!” I hung up the phone quickly. My heart can’t take him in the mornings. I’m too tired to have my heart pounding this fast. I stepped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to get ready. As I was going through my morning routine I couldn’t stop worrying about what was going to happen when I saw him again. Would it be the same as before or totally awkward? Well I was about to find out.
I sat through my lecture in agony. I couldn’t even think of focusing on chemistry when I knew as soon as it hit noon I would be heading to see him. A little too soon the clock hit twelve and everyone rushed out of the hall. As I made my way down the steps I reached in my bag and pulled out my phone to call Harry.
“Hey! Are you out already?”
“Yeah it’s noon. Where did you want to meet?” I tried to sound enthusiastic but you could hear the shaking in my voice.
“Um, well I’m actually just down the street from University. Do you want me to come pick you up?”
“If that would be easier, that would be lovely.”
“I’m on my way!”
As I hung up the phone I could see his Audi was already pulling up in front of me. Down the street huh? Bet he was waiting right around the corner. I climbed into the passenger seat and strapped myself in.
“Where are we going? And you sure got here quickly.”
“Well I figured we could make lunch at my flat. I told you I was down the street.”
“Okay your flat sounds good.” I didn’t know what else to say. I hadn’t even looked over at him since getting in the vehicle. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I should have just told him I was busy and let the memories of Meghan’s party just be memories. His hand slowly grabbed my knee and gave it a squeeze. Ow… It wasn’t a soft squeeze. What was that for?
“Have you talked to that guy from Meghan’s party?” Oh, I see where this is going. He thinks I haven’t talked to him because I’ve been seeing other people. He would be jealous over someone who I was literally trying to get away from the whole time I was at her party.
“No. I don’t like him. I thought you knew that.”
“Yeah, I just didn’t want him giving you any trouble that’s all.”
“Oh. Can we stop at the café? I want to get my favorite tea for lunch.”
He pulled up out front of the café and stopped to let me run in and grab my tea. As soon as I put my order in I saw one of my good friends, Edward. I walked over and gave him a friendly hug and asked him how everything had been while I was waiting for my tea. I hadn’t seen him in a few years. Soon enough my tea was ready and I gave him a smile, exchanged numbers to stay in touch, and a hug goodbye. When I got in the car I could feel the tension. Harry didn’t look at me or even speak to me the whole ride back to his flat. When I got out of the car he walked past me and up to the door. Wow what did I do to deserve the silent treatment?
I followed him up the stairs and past the open door. As I shut the door I felt hands hastily grab my hips and yank me around to face him. His eyes were lit and his eye brows were prominently pointing down. He pushed me back against the door and ground his hips into mine. I let out a small whimper as I felt the pressure from his bones against mine. He looked down at me and said, “What do you take me for?”
Who was this guy? Not only a week ago we were happily playing around. Now he has me pinned up against the wall infuriated, but why was he so angry?
“I-I don’t know. What did I do?” I looked down because I felt so hopeless. Where was the sweet guy I stayed the night with last week?
“Oh nothing Love. You did nothing.” He took one of his large hands and forcefully tilted my head up so I had to make eye contact with him. He was boiling hot. What did I do? I knew his temper was a short fuse but not this short. “You have me take you somewhere and then flirt with another guy right in front of me?”
He swiftly leaned down and bit my neck slowly sucking against the skin gradually getting harder. I could feel the blood rushing to the spot of skin under his brutal force. I let out a loud whimper and tried to push him back. He didn’t budge. I could feel his muscles holding me to the exact spot he wanted me. I felt a warm breath against my newly irritated flesh. It felt soothing followed by a sharp pain as he dragged his teeth over the sensitive area.
“W-Why are you doing this?” I said so softly hoping that he would feel guilty and release me from his tight grip. Instead he kissed me gently on the lips. What a contrast.
“I just want people to know you are mine.”
My face quickly turned angry. “I’m not yours. I’m not a piece of property. I like you Harry but this is too over the line.” He withdrew his hold over me and I quickly made a rush for the door. He grabbed my wrist as soon as I was to turn the handle and leave his flat.
“Please Hayden. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just couldn’t stand seeing you flirting with that guy in the café.” He said in his deep tone with a heart aching sadness in it. I couldn’t stop my heart from twisting at the hurt in his voice.
“I understand that. But you had no right.” I turned and tilted my chin up to him to show the newly purple spot on my neck. I lifted my hand to feel the sore spot and took in a sharp breath while closing my eyes shut at the pain.
“Hayden…” His mouth was gaped open and his eyes looked glossed over. “I am so sorry. That will never happen again. I am sorry, please don’t leave.”
“I think it would just be best if we went our separate ways. We barely know each other and you just hurt me because I spoke to an old friend.” I looked at him with a stern expression. “Plus I don’t date, especially guys younger than me.”
Apparently that was a low blow as I saw his soft sad expression turn quickly back to anger. He walked up to me slowly still holding my wrist tight. Hayden if he tries to hurt you one more time you leave – I kept telling myself.
“I am not a child. I am nineteen years old and I’m pretty damn sure I have taken care of myself since I was a bloody child. Now if my age is making me sound undesirable I can show you how greater I am then any of those foolish lads out there.” He pointed towards the door with his free hand and forcefully took me down the hall into his open room. I turned towards the door as I saw his foot kick it shut.
I felt his hand slide down my side and firmly take hold of my bum. He lifted me up and pushed me onto his bed while climbing on top of me, not giving me a chance to get away. I looked up at him with wide eyes as my mouth dropped open. I could feel him through his jeans and pressed up against my body. I didn’t have a second to think before his lips were pressed to mine and I let out a soft involuntary moan. I pushed my wrist up trying to get out of his grasp as my free hand pressed against his chest. He was solid. I could feel the strength of the muscle keeping me down. When he lifted up to look me in the face I started to squirm while keeping my eyes shut.
“Please Harry. I didn’t mean you were a child. I am not ready for this.”
I heard a large chuckle come from his breathy pants and I could feel the vibration through the origin of our touch. What was going on? This was the second time I saw him and my body was telling me something completely separate from my mind and I think he could tell. I was conflicted inside. My body was screaming for him to touch me while my mind was overthinking everything. I didn’t want my first time to be this way. It was so forceful and unforgiving. His muscles were so taut with anger.
“Harry, I know I must be sending you mixed signals but can we please talk about this.”
He could see I was starting to get upset. His hand slowly released my wrist but he kept the weight of his body pressed against me.
“Look Hay. I can tell there is something wrong and I know I have overstepped one too many times. My anger gets the best of me and I just don’t want you to leave. Can we talk for a little while?” He drew in a deep breath trying to force more words out of his mouth. As his face fell he whispered, “If we talk and I still scare you then… You can leave.”
“Okay Harry, if I stay and talk will you promise not to grab me anymore.”
“Yes. You can sit over at my desk or on the bed and I’ll sit opposite.”
As he rolled off of me I jolted up and onto the chair adjacent the desk and turned it around. I sat down and looked at harry sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He slowly looked up to find me staring at him with an angered expression.
“Look Harry. After the other night I really felt something with you. I have never felt this way about any guy in my life. But at the same sense you scare the shit out of me. You are a lot stronger than you think and I don’t want to get hurt.” I looked down at my wrist that now had little pink indentions from the force of his hand wrapped around it. “I would love to spend more time with you but not if it means I am going to look and feel like this afterwards.” I held my wrist out to him and lifted my chin. I looked like I had just got done fighting. Which I guess I had…
I could see the hurt in his eyes as he gently touched my hand and looked at the fresh markings he had left on another part of me. I knew he couldn’t know his own strength and willingly hurt me. But then again he did that damage to my neck with the intent of leaving a mark. I swiftly stood up out of the chair and went into the bathroom. I had yet to see the mark fully and wanted to figure out how to tell my dad. I couldn’t tell him the truth he would come down here and shoot Harry. I saw Harry’s reflection in the mirror behind me and I jumped.
“What am I going to do? Harry, if my dad sees this he will be down here with a gun.” I looked up at him as I was inventing a plan in my head. Maybe I could call Meg and stay at her place a few days. She would be infuriated with Harry but at least it wouldn’t be the wrath of my father. Then again she might tell my father also…
“We can try to cover it up. Would that work?” Harry looked optimistic but I knew better. We would have to find the best cover up in the world to get rid of the ugly purplish black color that now took over the right side of my neck.
“Harry, that wouldn’t work.” I had another plan in my head but I knew it was a bad one. It was the only thing I had thought of that wouldn’t have any repercussions. “Um, I have a favor to ask. We would have to have a set of rules but…” Hayden, you know better. Don’t do this! “Do you think I could stay here a few nights until this goes away?”
Harry’s face lit up. It was like he was given a second chance while also getting to spend a few nights with me. Everything he wanted.
“But if you overstep, even once, I am out of here. Got it?”
“Yes. I understand Hayden. It won’t happen again. I promise.” His beautiful dimples were back as he grinned at me. I got up and walked around the room looking for a pad of paper and a pen. Ah ha! I found both lying next to his open text books by his computer. It’s like they hadn’t moved an inch in over a week. I wrote at the top ‘Rules’ and looked over at him assessing his reaction when I saw his cheeky smile open. “Number one, no aggressive anger slash behavior.”
“That’s a good one.” As I quickly wrote down our first rule, I looked up to him curious. “Do you guys possibly have a spare bedroom?”
“No.” He realized what I was asking and his head fell down as he started twisting his fingers together. “I can sleep on the couch.” His voice sounded sad but like he was trying to guilt me into letting him sleep on the bed. Easy fix.
“I can sleep on the couch. I prefer sleeping anywhere but in a bed.” I let out a giggle and looked up to him as he intently stared into my eyes. His piercing green eyes drawing me back into him.
“No Hayden. I will not allow you to sleep on the couch. You deserve a bed. I’ll sleep outside if I have to.” He was being over dramatic. I have slept on couches many some times. I’ve even slept on the floor when I had to. I couldn’t believe he was being such a drama king.
“Harry I don’t mind. I know we slept together the other night but that’s not like me and I was inebriated. I understand that I kissed you and I do fancy you but I need the comfort. Plus you are like a stove top to sleep with.” I looked at him with a smile and let out a little giggle and soon he was laughing too. I was glad that we could still be happy and just talk like the night we met. Maybe this wasn’t as weird as it seemed.
“Okay, I’m sleeping on the couch. That’s rule number two okay?” He said with a pained smile on his face. I smiled at him and put my hand out to him. He looked at me confused. I wanted him to grab my hand. I wanted him to be okay. I have always been a little too overly compassionate for people.
“Hey, it’s gotten a little nippy outside. Can I borrow one of your jumpers? And maybe a scarf to cover my ugly neck?”
“Why do you need a jumper? We are inside and here’s the duvet.” He lifted the duvet off the bed. I looked at him with a smirk hoping he realized I had a point to my strange request. He slowly released the duvet back on the bed and headed to his closet. There was one jumper thrown in one direction that I guess was meant for me and he soon grabbed one too and lifted it over his head. “Now, will you tell me what in bloody hell we are doing?!” He looked at me with a grin as his dimples came back into eye view. Seeing his smile made me smile. I put aside the past few traumatic events and tried to have a good time with my temporary roommate.
I quickly grasped hold of his hand and tugged him down the hall and into the now late afternoon air. I was taken aback by how cold it had really gotten. I knew it was going to be cold but this was freezing. I actually pulled both my arms around me as I began to shiver, the jumper not doing so well of keeping my body warmth in. I looked at harry and giggled as I realized he had begun to shiver too. I stood tall and started making my way towards the park entrance near his flat. He began running to keep up with my quick and steady pace. Once I got to the park I laid down on the soft grass and looked up at the sun setting waiting for the night sky to come into view.
“Damn, your little feet move swiftly.” Harry stated out of breath.
“Yes… I guess they do. I wanted to breathe in the fresh air and get a good view at the beautiful night sky. I know it will be a while before any stars come out. I thought of a good idea, to chat until the stars come out. Maybe we will learn some more about each other…” I smiled at him trying to make him feel more at ease. He slowly sank down to a seated position next to me. He grabbed my hand and asked me what I wanted to know.
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