My bitten nails clasp on my hairbrush, that yank through my knotted hair as I sigh, staring at my reflection. The poorly applied eyeliner flakes off at the corners, and my lipstick starts to fall into the cracks in my lips. I wonder, not for the first time in ny life, how girls manage to apply make up so perfectly and look like a supermodel. Picking up my small handbag, I slide my feet into flats, the only shoes that match my skinny jeans outfit.
Walking towards the park gives me a lot of time to think, after all my a-levels are over and technically being 18 means I don't have to go to any form of education. However, Uni could be the right option for trying to find a career path. If only I knew what career. Deep down I've always hoped that I wasn't the only one that didn't know what to do with their life, but everywhere I look there are people with jobs, scholarships or their dream. I don't know.
"Ahhh, Emma it's been too long!" My friend Becca exclaims, as her tight arms wind around me, pulling me into a vanillery envelope.
"It's been two days." I grin, she was always melodramatic.
"I can't believe it's finally summer! What are we going to do with all this free time?" She giggles, leading me forward towards our favourite park bench.
"I guess find a job, maybe think about the future and stuff." She looks at me incredulously, you would have thought I'd told her her goldfish had died.
"I'm talking parties, and holidays!" I stifle a moan, parties weren't my thing, especially when she flirts up with every guy in her radius and leaves me to mull on my own. Plus I hate dancing. I've been told I'm good, but I get so self conscious.
"I don't kn-"
"You blew me off last year because of studying, this summer you have no excuse." When she stares at you with her big brown eyes, it makes it so much harder to let her down. And of course, she's right about last year, I did keep blowing her off. Maybe it's time to 'get out there'?
"Sure why not?" I mumble halfheartingly, hoping she won't hear me.
"Perfect! There's a party in two days time, and you're going to be there with me!" Although she's annoying at points, it's hard to resist her enthusiasm.
For the next couple of hours I am dragged around town, trying to find the perfect dress that will show off my skinny figure, along with blond hair and grey blue eyes. You'd think it would be easy, but not for becca, I have been told that I have to think about the dress, shoes, earrings, necklace, makeup- the list goes on. I drew the line at dress, I bought a pretty number that highlights my best features and does it best to disguise my flaws. Against Beccas wishes, I am adamant that my flats will suit the dress and I can borrow my mum's earrings.
When I'm home, away from the constant gossiping of my friend,I can breathe. I can think. This party - I don- it's jus- well, I've never been drunk, I've never smoked, I've never clubbed all night and I've, painfully, never kissed a guy, or been kissed.
This party will be my living nightmare.
I grab for my only source of comfort, chocolate and a book, this time it is dairy milk chocolate and 'The Fault In Our Stars'.
Nothing can break me away right now.