"Niall has gone over to his mom." muttering Bobby in the morning. He sat down with a cup of coffee at the table and opened the morning paper. I felt betrayed by Niall and I realized he wasn't going to stand behind me.
Bobby quickly looked up at me.
"I don't know, he mumbled something about he would pull himself together, but I've heard that before."
I sat down and swallowed. I wanted to talk about what had happened, but how.
"You can have breakfast, if you want." he continued, looking at me again. "You have to continue to live and I'll call your school and find out what we do with your education."
"I don't want to go there again."
"I promised your mom that I would make sure you got an educated future. I promised her many things and I wont disappoint her, even though she's not here."
"Did you write a contract?"
He smiled and shook his head. He put down the paper and looked straight at me.
"We have to make sure that something happens. You can't just lie in bed all day."
"I don't wanna go to school."
Bobby sighed and he drank coffee.
"What do you want to do then?"
"I don't know!" I whispered. "Can't you let me decide that?"
He gazed at me and I saw that he was thinking.
"You want a job? I can arrange a job if that's what you want?"
I shook my head.
"I'm only fifteen years old."
"But what do you want to do with your life?"
I chose to sit at my window and look out over the backyard. I saw the neighbors, I saw kids and I saw those who lived their lives. I was disappointed with Niall and I was disappointed with myself. What did I wanted to do with my life? I was thinking, but I found no answer.
"Come along to the pub?" said Bobby at the evening and smiled at me. "I'm meeting some friends and you can actually be with. I buy nothing illegal to you, but you can get a soda if you want?"
I nodded weakly.
It was still better than just being at home and wait for Niall would realize that he wanted me.
I sat between Bobby and his friend. They were five grown men. They talked about cars, houses and jobs. I chose not to listen but I tried anyway to act interested.
"So how's it going?" asked Ted and I knew he was referring to me. Bobby smiled and took his arm around my shoulders.
"We're fine. We take one day at a time!"
Ted looked at me and I didn't like his look. He disgusted me!
"You and her?"
"I promised Marry to care for Hope and she's like a daughter to me."
Ted certainly had poured in more beer than what he should. He snorted and grinned.
"If I were like you, I had seen that she spread her legs for you sometimes."
Bobby was just as dumb as I was. We just stared at Ted and eventually he blushed.
"My fantasy ..." he whispered and drank more. "I just think that you are a bachelor and you can get anyone you want?"
"She's only fifteen years old!" hissed Bobby cold and I was glad that he defended me. Ted snorted back.
"She doesn't look like a virgin and all girls want to fuck. But that's my opinion."
Bobby became really angry. He stood up and made sure I did the same.
"We should probably go now, I thought you were my friends and that you would understood?"
I gulped and went ahead before him toward the door.
"I never follow you to this place more times!"
Bobby understood me.
"I guess I should understand that Ted would say such a thing., He always opens his mouth and the wrong choice of words coming out."
When we got home I showered. Bobby picked up beer from the basement and sat in the TV room. I understood that he wanted to get drunk. I realized it was because mom was gone and his friends seemed to be more away from him. I would just say good night to Bobby, but he held out a beer for me.
"I give you this so you don't feel the pain." he mumbled. I understood that he was under the influence. Still, I didn't say no. I sat next to him and opened the can. I tasted the beer and then looked at him.
"You miss Mom, huh?"
He nodded and swallowed.
"Every day, every second!"
Bobby smiled and looked at me. He watched me closely.
"You remind me of your mom. She was beautiful and I remember the first time I saw her. I immediately fell and I didn't want to let her go."
I was surprised when Bobby took his hand and pulled it through my hair.
"You should know that she was the love of my life, honey!"
I looked down on the beer. What would I say? I was even more surprised when Bobby groaned and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.
"And you remind me of her."
I wanted to scream, but I didn't dare. He let his lips caress my cheek and he let a hand caress my breast. I was scared and I had no idea what I would do. He moaned and I saw that he had boner. I was disgusted, but at the same time I didn't dare say anything. I felt his hand slid down over my body and it landed between my legs. Bobby kissed me on my neck and he made sure I landed on the couch. He undid his pants, pulled my panties off and without a word he lay on top of me. He penetrated. I said nothing, I felt nothing and I closed my eyes. He moaned and he pressed himself against my body. He was breathing rapidly and I felt how he worked quickly with the hip to me. He pulled up my nightgown up more and his hands were all over my body. I just wanted to scream, but even now I didn't dared to resist.
"You are so beautiful!" he moaned and he increased the pace. "You're so fucking beautiful and I've always said that."
Did he talk about me or about my mom? He came in the end and I felt how he pressed himself into me. I felt he spurted and he was shaking all over. He landed on me and I felt the smell of beer and alcohol.
"Don't say this to Greg or Niall?"
I didn't answer. I pushed him away from me and I ran upstairs. I showered and I was scrubbing my whole body with a stiff brush. I didn't remove all of Bobby's scents, but I was clean. I cried and I was shaking all over. Why had he chosen to have sex with me? It was just disgusting. I told myself it wouldn't happen again. He would never be allowed to touch me, not even hug me.
In the morning, Bobby, as usual. He was reading the newspaper and he smiled at me. I said nothing to him and I sat far from him.
"Why are you angry?"
"You fucked me!"
Bobby smiled and put down the paper.
"I promise it wont happen again. I don't know what happened yesterday. Thought you were Marry and that ..."
"You told me not to tell Greg and Niall. You knew what you were doing?"
"It went just wrong. Sorry sweetheart."
"I'm not your sweetheart!"