“Why don’t you get it, Justin?” “Because you’re not making sense! You have your walls up, but so do I. You have a past, and I do too. You know we’re perfect for each other!” I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous.” I turned to face him, anger blazing through me. “I’m a suicide mission. My mind is filled with demons and I’ve surrendered to them. I can’t do this anymore; I’m broken, Justin.” My voice began to rise as my anger grew and I met his eyes. “Why can’t you understand that you should stay away from me!” He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “See, that's the problem. I can’t stay away from you. I haven’t been able to since the minute I met you!” My breathing hitched as he came closer and closer, walking angrily towards me. He let out a frustrated groan as he pushed me against the side of his car. He brought his mouth up to my neck, breathing heavily. “You have to keep going. You’re broken and I still love you. You’re still perfect. You’re broken, so let me help. Let me fix you."


19. Jealousy?




“Go easy on her, yeah? She sucks.” I laughed as I spoke with Noah. Cassidy shot me a fierce glare and I only shrugged in return. We were at Noah’s house, in his back room. His parents weren’t home, only his older brother who luckily knew what we were doing. It was Cassie’s second or third training session with Noah and I had been there for every one.

“I’ve got training now, Bieber. I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.” She said menacingly. I smiled back at her knowing that firstly, she wasn’t serious and secondly it would piss her the fuck off.

“How about we leave that for session, tiger.” Noah laughed, grabbing her arm. “I’ll teach you, okay? First lets just focus on blocking like we did the other day.”

She nodded and they got started, her blocking his shots, but he was going pretty easy on her. Still, she was doing well.

You just want an opportunity to praise her.

I heard the annoying ring tone of my phone and quickly answered.


“Justin. I can’t hold them off much longer, they all want to fight. They want her dead.”

I let out an exasperated sigh at the boys words. “Who is this, to start off?”

“Eric.” He said, sounding offended. “I’m trying to protect the girl, but the rest of them want revenge.”

I walked out of the room, avoiding being overheard. I rubbed the bridge of my nose, the stress getting to me. “She didn’t do anything! She isn’t Emily, and her death isn’t going to avenge anything.”

“I know that, but these idiots can’t seem to get that.”

“How long have we got?”
“Not long. A few weeks, a month maybe? No longer than Halloween.”

“Fuck. Alright, call me if anything new happens.” I hung up, not giving Eric another chance to give me bad news. I walked back in to see Cassidy punch Noah straight in the jaw. I watched as they ‘fought’ and sighed. I, we, were ruining her. Taking away her purity and kindness and turning her into one of us, and I couldn’t have felt worse because of it.

“Well done.” Noah grimaced, grabbing his jaw. “Now we’ll try and see if you can get out of a hold, alright?”

She nodded, her breathing heavy. I looked at her, like really looked at her, letting my eyes run over her small figure. She really was tiny in every sense of the word. She barely reached my shoulder, and she was incredibly thin with barely any muscle evident on her. No one would expect her to be able to fight back, much less hurt someone. She just had an innocent air about her that made you want to protect her. Or maybe that was only me that thought that. I watched as Noah locked her hands together against the wall and got in her face like I had with the knife incident. She flinched at what he said to her, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. She recoiled at every move I made near her,  she was scared of me. I couldn’t exactly blame her, but I just wished it was Nate she was scared of, not me.

“I have your hands locked yeah? So think about what else you can use. You have two legs free, and I only have one hand to stop you doing something.”

As he finished speaking, she raised her right leg and kicked him in the stomach, making him fall back on his ass.

I snorted at his face and began clapping for her. “Good one. Next time try and do something worse. Use your hands.” I didn’t want to be an ass, but I couldn’t be nice to her all the time, she’d be suspicious of my feelings.
“Like? He has a strong grip.” She snapped, obviously pissed off with me.

“Like, curl your wrists so he has to let go. Trip him over, don’t always resort to kicking.”

She nodded, but I could see nothing but anger in her eyes. I quickly shut up.

“Yeah, what Justin said.” Noah said. “This one will be harder to get out of.”

I watched as he told her to lie down on her back. Pushing down my protectiveness deep under inside me with my anger, I dug my nails into my palm.

Calm down. He’s helping her.

He got on top of her and held her down. “Imagine I was a creepy guy, try and get out of this one without kicking.”

“You are a creepy guy.” She giggled. He grinned at her but didn’t say anything more. Jealousy shot through me as I watched them, ripping at my heart in a way that nothing else could.

Don’t be jealous, she’s not even yours.

I got out my phone and pretended to play a game, pretended to look uninterested, though it was actually the complete opposite. I watched as she rose her hips from the floor and rolled the both of them over so she was on top.

‘Virgin’ my ass. Where’d she learn to do that?

By the look on her face, no where. She looked surprised that her plan worked. She was sitting on top of him and my jealousy reached its peak. My breathing got heavier, my toes curled in my shoes and the grip on my phone was death like as I tried to calm myself down. Noah sent me a impish look, like he could read my mind. He winked at me as Cassidy groaned and tried to get rid of the grasp he had on his hands.

“You gotta try harder than that, Cass. Come on, think!” He told her.

I looked down and began playing some stupid game, temple run, and distracted myself.

“HA! I did it!” she yelled. The guy in the game crashed into a wall as I looked up in surprise.

“Whoa.” I whispered to myself. No way did she do that by herself.

“Ok, I reckon you earned an early end. Good job, Cassie. Go change, the bathroom is just upstairs, first door to your left.”

She smiled and took her bag, running upstairs.

Noah grinned at me, “Well that was either the best ‘protective big brother’ reaction I’ve ever seen or you were jealous.”

“Me? Please.” Noah raised his eyebrows, calling my bullshit. “Alright, I might have been slightly jealous. But a word of it to anyone, I’ll-“
“Chill. I didn’t want to talk about that anyway.”

“Then what?”

“When you were on the phone, I told her to tell me something that made her uncomfortable and use it to hit me. You know what she said?”

I shook my head, I almost didn’t want to know. Was it me?

“She said Nate. He keeps telling her he loves her and she doesn’t know what to do. I told her to think of something else, but I thought I should tell you. Especially after your little fit just then.”
Feelings of hope filled my mind, although I’m not sure what for. It wasn’t like she didn’t like Nate, or that she told him she loved me. I had heard her tell me about it already…

She didn’t say she was uncomfortable. She said she felt guilty. Maybe she’s losing feelings for him.

“I was not jealous.” I muttered as Noah punched me in the arm lightly.

“Right, and she’s not hot.” He said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

I whacked him on the back of the head, “Shut the fuck up, you creep.”

He roared with laughter, almost doubled over. “She’s Nate’s I get it. But Emily was –“
“She’s not Emily. End of story.”

He held his hands up in defense. “Just saying. As soon as Nate shows his true colors like we know he will, she’ll want someone else. You think she can’t say she loves him because she’s not ready? No. it’s because she knows, deep down, she’s better with someone else.”
“Fuck off, they’ve been together for 2 months or something. No idiot in their right mind ‘loves’ someone after that short time.”

But Noah never got a chance to reply, because Cassidy came down the stairs in a new change of clothes.

“Thank you, Noah. I’ll see you tomorrow, creepy guy.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, my voice higher than normal. Noah smirked, but I ignored him.

“Yeah, at school. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah. See ya, music geek.” I said, ruffling Noah’s hair.




The drive back was pretty silent, Cassidy was more or less exhausted and I really wasn't in the mood to talk. Unfortunately, we met Abby on the stairwell on our way up.

“Well, if it isn’t the golden couple.” She muttered.

“Shut up, Abs. You know she didn’t do shit wrong.”

“So I’m guessing she has you wrapped around her finger too?”
I saw Cassidy roll her eyes, but she stayed silent, which it in itself surprised me. She’s always been a firecracker who wants to fight.

“We’re friends, why do you resent that?”

“Hey Cass, why don’t you do the talking? Have you seen Jasmine lately? Or are you just ignoring all of your friends that actually helped you through stuff to play with your boy toys.” She said, ignoring me completely.

Cassidy’s face drained of color at Abby’s words. “I’m going through a rough time, I’m sorry if it seemed I was ignoring you guys.”
“What could you be going through? Not enough boys falling at your feet?”
Cassidy shook her head, “No. I’m actually really scared to even walk outside because of these boys.”

Those words completely broke the anger I felt at that moment. I watched Cassie, remorse filling me as I realized her true feelings. It didn't matter that we were breaking her, she didn’t care. She was scared.
“Wait what?” Abby said, shocked. “I told you not to mess with her.” She growled at me, her mood changing completely.

“I haven’t! It’s Nate’s fault, not mine.”

Abby looked at Cassidy, as did I. She looked a mess due to her training with Noah today.

“I’m sorry, Cassie.” Abby mumbled. I stared at her, bewildered. What the fuck? Where was the fighting? The screaming? “I was jealous… I am jealous of Justin. He was able to become your friend so quickly and you trust him and I just wish that we were as close as we used to be-“

“It’s okay.” Cassidy replied. Abby walked closer until they were hugging, Abby sniffling into her shoulder. “Its harder to be closer with you and Jazzy and the other girls because you don’t go to my school. I’m stuck with this idiot every second of every day.” Cassidy replied.

“Hey! I resent that.” The two girls cracked up laughing, and although I was confused as fuck, I was happy to see Cassidy smiling with her best friend again. Plus, it would mean that I would actually have someone to talk to again at home.

I rolled my eyes, checking the time to see if they would notice.

“Ok, well, I’m going home…” I said, starting to climb the stairs.

“Wait. I’m coming.” Cassidy stopped me, running up next to me. “Bye Abby!”

“Bye guys.”

I rolled my eyes as we walked up together, “That sure was a fight alright.”
“Shut up. I’m too tired to even fake fight with you.” She mumbled.

I laughed in return, turning off at my floor. “I’ll see you tomorrow. No running tomorrow, you need some rest.”
“Alright, goodnight Justin.”
“Night, cutie.” I sighed in response, upset to see her leave. If it were up to me, I would spend every waking moment with her. She was beautiful, interesting, smart and… layered. She was a million dimensions. Broken and scarred and adorable and beautiful… and I was determined to get to know all parts of her, whether she liked it or not. 


A/N: Hola! Okay so heres a little insight into Justin's true feelings toward Cassidy. It's getting more exciting omg I'm so excited to write this guys. The last chapter has been changed a little bit, just the ending. You can go and check it out if you want :) comment what you thought of this chapter! x

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