“Why don’t you get it, Justin?”
“Because you’re not making sense! You have your walls up, but so do I. You have a past, and I do too. You know we’re perfect for each other!”
I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous.”
I turned to face him, anger blazing through me. “I’m a suicide mission. My mind is filled with demons and I’ve surrendered to them. I can’t do this anymore; I’m broken, Justin.” My voice began to rise as my anger grew and I met his eyes. “Why can’t you understand that you should stay away from me!”
He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “See, that's the problem. I can’t stay away from you. I haven’t been able to since the minute I met you!”
My breathing hitched as he came closer and closer, walking angrily towards me. He let out a frustrated groan as he pushed me against the side of his car. He brought his mouth up to my neck, breathing heavily.
“You have to keep going. You’re broken and I still love you. You’re still perfect. You’re broken, so let me help. Let me fix you."


24. He's Obsessed with Her



I stormed through the city, not caring who I had to knock over. I was fuming as I walked over to Nate’s newly bought house on that Saturday afternoon. My anger had been high all week, ever since the stupid dinner with my parents. Justin, unintentionally, made me realize that I didn’t actually deserve how Nate was treating me. Nate was supposed to meet my parents, but it was Justin who took his place. Nate was supposed to take care of me – and he didn’t even care if I had gotten home or not from the party! Justin had been acting like a freak all week, barely even looking at me in the eyes, causing my temper to rise even more. I knew exactly why – it was because of the kiss. We had barely spoken about it and we needed to, urgently. Our friendship was slipping through my fingers and disappearing like smoke because of one stupid kiss.  Today I had had enough with Nate, after getting a call from him at 3am, drunk and messed up, I was done. No more bullshitting my way through our relationship. I didn’t care if that meant breaking up with him. I walked furiously to Nate’s front door, before unleashing my anger onto it.

“Nate! Open up!” I screamed, banging as hard as I could. I received no answer, only infuriating me more. “Nate I swear to –“

I was cut short, my fist still raised, by a disheveled Nate opening the door. He squinted at me and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What do you want?” he croaked out.

I pushed past him and stalked inside. “What do I want? What do I want?” I began, my voice beginning to raise. “I want you to give a shit!”

“Hey, hey baby. Shh, my head is gonna explode.” He put a finger to my lips, the other hand holding his head. I grit my teeth in anger and clenched my fists, fighting the urge to use everything Noah and Ashton had taught me to punch him in the face. He was being such a jackass!

“I don’t give a fuck, Nate! We need to talk, right now. Or better yet, I’ll talk, you listen.” I cried, hitting his hand away from my mouth.

He looked at me with dull eyes before sitting on the couch, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Fine. Speak. What’s your problem?”

I growled in anger, how dare he? He was speaking to me like I was an annoying customer.
“You! You left me again at a party! I was wasted for the first time and you couldn’t have given two shits! Then, the next day, I ring to see if you’ll meet my parents. I barely ever see them, which means you have limited times to meet them. You say yes and then you fucking bail on me! JUSTIN CAME INSTEAD!” I screamed, my arms flailing about and my chest rising and falling with each breath. I watched him, gauging his reaction. When he said nothing, I continued. “I got no apology, no phone call, no explanation. You keep saying you love me – which is a whole different pile of shit altogether – and none of your actions have ever proven or reflected your words…I don’t understand – I thought we were okay! Then I find out you organize Justin to meet my parents instead of facing them yourself. Where were you?” I shrieked, finally voicing the question stuck in my head all week.

“I was…busy.”

I snorted, “Right, too busy to meet your girlfriend’s parents. Of course.”

He growled at me dangerously. “Shut up, Cassidy. You don’t know half of my shit.”

“Well maybe if you fucking told me I would!”

“Don’t you dare swear at me again.” He said darkly. I swallowed loudly, kind of scared.

“What are you, my dad?”

Nate cocked an eyebrow at my statement and I felt my cheeks heat up. I shouldn’t have been yelling at him, he was able to break up with me. He wasn’t forced to be with me and I could easily lose him.

But do you even care if he breaks up with you? Maybe you should break up with him first.

“No, but I don’t appreciate it. You shouldn’t have such disgusting language come out of such a pretty mouth.”

I blushed darker, hating myself for it. “What, so I can’t swear but you can?”

“I told you-“
“Actually, shut up. I don’t give a shit.”

“You’re mad.” He stated.

“No, I’m happy as fuck.” I deadpanned, “Of course I’m fucking mad! You left me, Nate! Where did you go? What was so much more important than meeting my parents?” I asked, purposely swearing as many times as possible. I glared at him fiercely, ready to walk out of his apartment and never see him again if he ignored me. Strong hands gripped my wrists and a hard chest slammed me against the wall. His lips traced my neck and jawline, but he didn’t say anything.

“You’re drunk.” I muttered, the reek of alcohol heavy in his breath. 

“So? Doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you.” he replied, trailing his light kisses over my chin and to my lips. I lifted my head, trying to get away from him.

“Stop, Nate. I’m angry with you. And you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re doing-”


He always did this. Every time we fought he distracted me with kisses or something as huge as a confession of his stupid love.

“Nate let me go.”

“Come on baby, I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“You saw me last weekend. It’s your fault  you didn’t call me.”

He continued to kiss my neck, cupping my cheek with his large hands.

“Please.” He asked, his voice husky and rough. Regrettably, I gave in.

He’s using you! My mind was screaming, but I pushed it down, pretending I couldn’t hear it. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling the ends and earned a moan from him. I moaned in response as Nate bit and sucked on my neck. There was a loud knock at the door, but I ignored it.

Pretend we’re not here. Nate mumbled. I knew I was falling into his perfectly set trap, but I hadn’t seen him for a week, and it wasn’t like we were doing anything like this when I had seen him.


Ashton’s voice echoing throughout the house stopped Nate’s assault on my neck immediately.

Well, shit.” I whispered. “Don’t think our talk is over.” I stated, not ready to let him get away with this.


“Chill out, I’m coming!”

I glared at Nate behind his back, he was just leaving me here?

“Well…I’m leaving.” I told him, getting no reaction in response. I quickly ducked into the next room, still able to hear and see them. As if I was going to leave and let this perfect opportunity to see what Nate was really like pass me by?

“You may be my best friend Nate but that doesn’t give you the right to steal my other best friends girl and play around with her.” Ashton stated as soon as the door was opened.

“Great, two people in one day going at me.”


“Cassidy…”Nate began, turning to see only empty space behind him. “Never mind.”
“Justin used to be your best friend too, Nate.” Ashton said.

I don’t care! He isn’t anymore.”
“Because of your fuck up.” Don’t try that shit with me.” You knew Justin had a crush on Emily.”
“Emily is dead.” Nate spat. “Justin is the one stealing Cassidy from me.”
“Well you aren’t exactly doing a great job at showing him up, are you? You’re fucking up with her, don’t blame Justin for being there for her. While you were drunk as hell, getting your ass kicked by some loser at a bar, Justin was meeting her parents playing perfect Mr. Boyfriend. That should have been you.”

I couldn’t help but agree with Ashton. At least someone else was on my side. But Nate was drunk? That’s what he was so damn busy with?
“He’s obsessed with her, or haven’t you noticed?”

I watched as all color in Ashton’s face quickly drained until he was as pale as a ghost.

“What did you just say?”
“He’s obsessed with her.”

“Shut up where you don’t know shit, Nate.”
Nate’s face lit up in amusement. “So he actually does like her. I was just messing with you…”

Justin doesn’t like me. What type of bullshit was Nate smoking?

“You don’t exactly seem jealous at the thought that your enemy could or could not have a crush on your girlfriend?”

“You know very well that I don’t get jealous over her easily.”

I frowned, Nate always got jealous when Justin was with me.

“No fucking way Nate! I knew you weren’t in love with her but are you kidding? You really are fucking with her to get back at him? You piece of shit!” Ashton yelled, his voice louder and harsher than I had ever heard it.
“Stop it.” Nate growled. “I’m a piece of shit? What about you, being friends with Justin still even when it’s obvious you should only be friends with me! Don’t talk about her like she’s nothing-”

“No, Nate! You don’t get to act like you give a shit about her. You’re messing with Justin and you’re fucked up because of it. I’m your friend but a friend should point out when you’re doing shit wrong. Right now, you’re a walking fucking disaster. I don't know why you don’t just let her down easy and get on with your life instead of stringing her along-“

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

 If Ashton was talking about me, did that mean Nate didn’t truly like me like he said? Was I not supposed to know? My breathing quickened as the thought of Nate using me made its way into my mind. What was he using me for? Why would he even bother going out with me if he didn’t like me?

“Don’t bullshit me with pretending you care. Okay, you got us. Justin likes Cassidy. You knew he did ages ago. Before Justin even knew. But she likes you. A lot. You, on the other hand-“
“I thought I told you to shut the fuck up?”

“Why? Don’t like hearing your actions being replayed to you?”

“No, I don’t care about that!” he leaned in closer to Ashton. “She might be here.”

My eyes widened in horror. They were talking about me, Justin did like me and Nate was…messing with me? I felt tears roll down my cheeks and my chest tighten, feelings of wretchedness overwhelming me. Nate was messing with me.

Could you get anymore stupid? How didn’t you see it?

“Go look in the rooms, she might be hiding. You scared her when you were banging on the door.” Nate’s voice was a thousand miles away, I barley recognized it as his.

My heart was literally hurting and breaking. My throat was closing up, the pain demanding to be felt and let out. Nate was making out with me not even 10 minutes ago…he was using me. I clenched my teeth together, trying my hardest to distract myself from the agony that was engulfing me. Ashton was walking toward me, he could definitely see me now. I thought he would yell out to Nate, tell him I was here.

“Shh, it’ll be okay.” Ashton started, wrapping his arms around me. “Go out of the window in this room, you’ll end up in his backyard. There’s a gap in the side fence, go through it. My car is parked on the street, get in. I’m leaving soon, okay?” I hesitated. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him you were still here. Take the keys and hurry up!”

I nodded and wiped my cheeks once more. I bolted to the window, happy to find in unlocked, and jumped out. I dashed through the overpowering weeds and dead grass that covered the badly kept backyard to the gate. There, just like Ashton had said, was the gap in the fence.

“I can’t fit through there what the fuck.” I whispered to myself.

Think skinny thoughts.

I sucked in and turned sideways to get through. I barely managed before running over to the familiar black car that had been my escape route for almost every shitty situation I had been put in.  I unlocked the car and jumped in the backseat before completely breaking down. My heart ached to think about Nate, my head throbbed from crying.

‘Beautiful boys with pretty words are never to be trusted.’

I cried harder thinking of my mother’s advice. She couldn’t be right, not again. The memory of the first time I met Nate floated to the forefront of my mind, spreading pain throughout my body. I had compared him to Justin, speaking of how he wasn’t as beautiful.


Just because he wasn’t as beautiful didn’t mean he wasn’t as dangerous. Justin would never have done that to me, never strung me along for the means of revenge. Choked sobs started to pour out of me as I tortured myself with thoughts of the two boys. I grabbed my phone, unable to help myself. I dialed the first number my fingers and brain seemed to comprehend.

My mother.

A/N: sorry for not updating! my exams start next week so I've been a little preoccupied studying and everything. what do you think of Nate? and what do you think or want to happen next? comment your thoughts below, i love you all x

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