"Her"

She is no longer a mother to me...but a mere stranger.

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1. the only chapter

Her. She haunts me like a bad memory. In all reality that's all she really is. A bad memory,I don't want....but have. She is a memory I can't just forget or erase,even when I'm not thinking about her,she is still there. A constant reminder of the life I LIVED. The day she left she took a piece of us all. A bigger piece of me though, to constantly feed her,help her grow and become worse... Worse enough to the point of self harm. She is crazy,haunting,and misleading. She lures you in with kindness,love,and beautiful eyes. Don't trust her. Her words are lies. She spits venom that poisons me. My heart shattered because of her. I can't trust,love,get too close or fully be normal. Normal. What is normal? I don't know anymore. To me normal is shutting out the world in fear of disappointment. To me normal is not seeing anyone and always making people mad. Normal for me.....is feeling alone...even in a crowded room. Shutting out the voices in my head just the same as the ones outside. It never ends. I could scream for someone to let me out or for the voices to stop but what good would it do to just mute them.? They will still be there...rotting my feelings knowing how I will never know their true meanings. Why they are here? Why they try? Who sent them? Their sole purpose. They also haunt me. I hate who I am and nothing will change that. I constantly want to change,make the scars fade, but it's hopeless. She was never there even when she was. 11years. 11 freaking years it's been like this, nothing ever changing. All because of.......HER.

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