(2012 fanfics)
Monday: Zayn smokes
Tuesday: Zayn smokes
Wednesday: Zayn smokes
All the way through to Sunday: Zayn smokes
GURL HE AIN'T NO MUTHER FUCKING CHIMNEY!
"Dare you to kiss Harry!"
*Ends up pregnant*
Fanfic Harry: "Don't you dare touch her or I swear to god I will cut you into tiny pieces and use your organs to play sports with."
Real Harry: "*holds up hand to mum for high-five after making sandwich* What a team! *smiles like a four year old*"
"He grabbed my breasts"
This ain't no Nando's
"Hey I know you aren't you from that old girl band One Dimension?!"
He giggled.
Giggled?
G I G G L E D?!?!
He's not fucking four!!
"He carried me bridal style...*
NAHHHHH just because it's a Liam fanfic I thought he carried you like a sack of spuds. I swear this is soooo over used it's plastered to my face
*slips*
Goes into coma.
*laughs*
Goes into coma.
*coughs*
Goes into coma.
*breathes*
Goes into coma.
*reads every fanfic that ever used the idea of a coma*
Goes into coma.
"I arched my back."
Gurl you some sorta bridge?!
That awkward moment when you realise that these girls don't have bladders or an ass that works cos they go weeks, possibly months, without taking a piss. I can barely go a fucking hour without needing to take a dump.
*bitch fight going on*
Niall: I'm hungry
Harry: fucking other bitch I'll rip her up if she hurts my baby.
Louis: *laughs hysterically*
Liam: *having panic attack about how irresponsible he's being*
Zayn: *smokes* CMOM GIRLS!!!
I swear if this happens once more, I'll start a bitch fight with the author!
"Hi I'm Eleanor. Hi I'm Perrie"
Where the fuck is Sophia or do we hate her that much that we are excluding her from the book of the fandom's?!
"His green orbs sparkled in the moonlight"
WHATTHEFUCKAREORBS???! Sounds like some fatal disease!
*sobs* Zayn I'm getting so much hate on twitter... *cries some more* *goes into coma for good measure*
Girl. Honey. You're dating a member of One Direction. I hope you weren't expecting daisies and roses from the fandom. We're not those sorta people. We hate pretty bitches that date our boys ok?!
"I felt my face flush"
MUUUUMMMMMM IM FLUSHING MY HEAD DOWN THE LOO THAT NONE OF THE FANFICTION GIRLS HAVE USED COS THEY NEVER NEED TO TAKE A SHIT.
"OMFG LMFAOOOOO YOU SHOULD MARRY NIALL AND SHARE FOOD WITH HIM!"
Rethink your life.
Now.
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What did you think?!
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Love you all
Ace
Xoxo
