I swear they all either have the longest and most imaginative name ever, like:
"Waddup peeps, I'm emerald star rainbow glitter balls..."
"Hey there I'm summer autumn winter spring rainy sunny snowy whatsherface."
It's always either that or "Kylie." "Makayla" "Georgia rose" (thanks a bunch best song ever!) or "Katie."
For my sanity, let's call this girl Kylie!
She always starts with "well hey there I'm Kylie!"
Lemme just stop you there. No. Just no.
"I'm best friends with a couple of girls called Eleanor and Perrie. You may have heard of them..."
No shit sherlock, just because you're in a fanfiction your bezzies are Mr Peabody and Shermon.
"I live in a small town called Doncaster, nextdoor to a certain Louis Tomlinson."
Where's my goddamn Capri-sun, this is gunna be good(!) HE DOESNT LIVE THERE!!!! HES PROBABLY IN LIKE JAPAN AT THE MOMENT!
Let me just say. Louis is 22, what's wrong with you being 21 or some age nearer there or is being 20 too fucked up for you perfect bitches with your Louis Vuitton bag and IPhone 5s's?!
"Last year we had a kid but we can't tell our parents cos our families are rivals."
What is this Romeo and Juliet?!?! Why do you live next door to your rivals- when you move house think it through. And where do you keep the kid, is it in a box under the stairs or is that too imaginative. Inevitably it's hidden under your clothes you're wearing at the moment.
"I remember when I first moved here it was around 2012, and when I saw his face I knew I'd seen him somewhere before."
Maybe that's because he's louis fucking Tomlinson.
"Our families first became rivals when I refused to marry a boy I was told to marry."
This is the 21st century not the 17th.
"But I wish we'd all just make up and be friends, so me and boobear can be together forever."
Oh great first you're in a fanfic and now you're suggesting world peace brilliant(!)
"Liam kept telling us we shouldn't be together under cover!"
So Liam is now a therapist mixed moth your mum lucky you.
"Louis and I instantly fell in love. He immediately pushed me up a against a wall and kissed me hard."
Two things: this is the definition of a rushed relationship and also, even of you're in the middle of mars in a cornfield and no buildings for 63746827292718474923873992017637382910000927336729101019283738299210001837 miles, he will find a wall and crash his lips into you.
Oh talking about kissing,
'he crashed his lips into mine'
what are you cars?!
'He forced his tongue into my mouth'
*throws up in own mouth*
'Each member banged me senseless in 16 different countries'
*cough* Whora the explorer *cough cough*
1D: Can we....
Liam: no it's dangerous.
1D: do you think that...
Liam: shut up that's stupid...
1D: can I go to the toil...
Liam: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
WHAT IS LIAM IN THIS? A BAND MEMBER OR YOUR COUNCILLOR?!
"I want you right here..." He growled in my ear. I senselessly agreed.
Yes because sounding like a dog with a chest infection is such a turn on!
Hey peeps sorry for the wait, busy studying for a college test in Latin! WAHHHT DAAA FUCKKKKKK
anyhoo thanks for reading and comment what you think!
Luff ya alllllll