what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :’) im sorry i forgot to warn u that that joke was coming oops soz not soz
hope you guys are going good, enjoy this chapter yay *smiles very large*
oh my god im such an illiterate child
vote, comment and share bc THAT VIDEO OF KITTEN AKA MICHAEL PLAYING WITH A REAL LIVE KITTEN, I JUST OMF
‘GOOOOOOOD EVENING, SYDNEY!’
Calum, Ashton, Luke and Michael stormed out on stage, shaking their guitars (or drumsticks) in the air and clapping their hands, waving to the screaming mass of fans before them. From beside the stage, Ciara and I watched together, trying to take it all in. I was literally shaking.
Looking out across the crowd, I could see thousands of fans cheering and stamping, holding up signs and waving placards that said things like, Welcome home 5SOS!, 5SOS We Love You, and the one I had a major giggle at, Ash, can i digeriDoo you?. There were people everywhere, all dancing on their feet, ready to see 5 Seconds of Summer perform. Looking back to the boys, I grinned. Luke was urging on the crowd and Michael adjusted his ear piece, flicking out the first few chords of Unpredictable. As Ashton began to beat out on the drums, Calum shouted excitedly into the microphone.
‘We’re going to start with an oldie, but a goodie - you guys all know it, so we wanna hear you singing along!’
He stepped back and grinned widely before breaking into the song with the rest of the boys. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud from pure happiness, and soon, Ciara grabbed me and we were jumping up and down, shouting out the words with the rest of the audience.
Hey, we’re taking on the world,
I’ll take you where you want to go,
Pick you up if you fall to pieces,
Let me be the one to save you,
Break the plans we had before,
Let’s be unpredictable,
Pick you up if you fall to pieces,
Let me be the one to save you...
‘So before we play you guys our last song, we’d like to give a shout out to some special people.’
Luke and Calum moved out of the way so Michael could shuffle to the front of the stage and address the crowd, who fell quiet so he could speak. I ignored the bright flash as Ciara took a photo next to me and tried to focus on Ashton, who was slowly making his way off his drum stool and around the stage equipment to stand with the other boys. He glanced off to the wings and gave me a wink. Cheeky bastard.
‘We’d like to start by thanking our families. Yes, that’s you, Mum,’ he grinned, blowing a little kiss up to the higher seats, where a dozen girls screamed, as if it were for them. But I glanced a little further back and saw a group of older adults and two little kids. As one of them blew a kiss back, I figured they were the guys’ families, and I smiled.
‘So thankyou for letting us all drop out of school-‘
‘Not me!’ Ashton cut in, smiling, and the crowd laughed and cheered as Michael fake slapped him on the forehead.
‘Yeah, but you’re even dumber than me!’
I laughed as Ashton pretended to get Michael into a headlock, and Luke stepped forward, winking at the audience.
‘Yeah, thanks for letting us quit school to get a better education elsewhere - a music education, on the worldwide stage.’
Michael finished and the crowd burst into applause, Ciara and I whistling and clapping as Calum stepped forward.
‘Thankyou Mum and Dad for supporting me and putting me on the right path, you guys mean so much to me and I couldn’t have asked for better parents. I’m so happy that you’re both here tonight to watch, and even though Mali couldn’t make it, I want you to know that I appreciate everything - from the early morning texts from the other side of the world to the long videos of old school photos of me that you post on Youtube for everyone to look at. I love you guys.’
He held two fingers to his lips and lifted it up to two people at the back, who waved at him. As Calum stepped back, I gave him a little thumbs up, and he grinned at me.
‘Yes, thankyou Mum, Dad, Jack and Ben, for being so supportive and you know, tweeting me back and stuff. I love hearing from you guys and miss you a lot on tour, and every time my phone beeps, I check it hoping it’s a message from you.’
As Luke stepped back from the front blushing madly, everyone awwww-ed collectively, and I saw a taller, older guy stand up and shout back, ‘We love you too, little brother!’
Ciara giggled beside me, and I raised an eyebrow at her.
‘Oh, shush,’ she poked me, ‘look, Ashton’s up.’
I turned back to the front as a very sweaty, yet attractive Ashton moved to the front and held his arms up to the crowd.
‘I’d also like to thank my beautiful family - Mum, Lauren and Harry - even though a lot’s changed in the last 3 years, you’ve stuck by my side, and I can only hope to repay that for the rest of my life. I love you!’
He blew a kiss into the crowd before stepping back into the line with the rest of the boys and linking arms. I sucked in a breath and reached for Cee.
‘We’d also like to thank our crew and producers and managers and all those important behind-the-scenes people that you guys unfortunately can’t see. They’re all very important to us, and they’re really the ones making this whole tour happen.’
The boys led the crowd in a round of applause for their crew before they all turned to the wings and started grinning at us.
‘We’d also like to thank our two good friends, Emma and Ciara, who we’ve just met recently, but already love. We hope our concert was good enough for you guys!’
Ciara squeezed my hand and I stuck my rude finger up at the boys, pretending to boo. Michael laughed and Luke waved cheerily as the audience cheered on. Just before Ashton was about to speak again, someone spoke up.
‘Are they groupies??’
A girl close to the front yelled out, giggling to herself. She was blonde, dressed in a very pretty pair of overalls and wearing hot vintage boots. I wasn’t sure if her comment was meant to be offensive or not, but she looked nice. Ciara shot me a confused look that I returned.
‘Excuse me? What did you just say?’
Calum walked forward until he was directly in front of her, and looked down with a frown on his face. The girl looked shocked - she obviously hadn’t thought she would be heard.
‘Sorry,’ she called up, blushing a bit and adjusting her hair so it was out of her face, ‘it doesn’t matter.’
Calum stared at her.
‘Well, it kind of does if you were just going to assume that our friends are groupies.’
The poor girl blushed harder.
‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘Well, they’re not groupies.’
He looked up and addressed the whole crowd.
‘Emma and Ciara are not groupies, guys. Just to clarify.’
He glanced back down at the girl again, who looked upset.
‘Sorry for the misunderstanding.’
He turned around and stepped back to the boys, who shot him some weird looks, but continued. I looked back to the girl, who had turned away from the stage, and was looking down at her phone or something. I hoped she wasn’t crying.
‘Last of all, we’d like to thank our fans, the beautiful 5SOS fam. Every single one of you.’
Luke smoothed over Calum’s awkward moment, and expanded his long arms, gesturing at the audience.
‘You guys have stuck with us right from the start, and without you, we’d really be nothing. So thankyou!’
The crowd screamed and cheered and waved their placards, and I laughed out loud as they started to throw things at the stage, making the guys duck. A silvery packet landed near my feet, and I choked - it was a condom. Ciara started shrieking with laughter next to me as I gingerly leant down to pick it up.
‘See? Everyone knows you’re going to get it on with Ashton later!’
‘Shut up,’ I scowled, and thrust the condom at her.
‘I think it’s meant for you and Luke, actually.’
‘I hate you.’
On stage, the boys had returned to their instruments, ready to fly into the last song. Calum adjusted his mouthpiece.
‘So this is our last song, ‘Try Hard’! Thankyou everyone for coming, and-‘
The rest of the boys shouted at the same time, before Michael and Ashton energetically burst straight into the beginning of their song amidst the cheers of the crowd. Luke and Calum’s voices slowly came in and Ciara and I started to jump around, screaming along.
‘SHE’S SO OUT OF REACH,
AND I’M FINDING IT HARD,
‘COS SHE MAKES ME FEEL, MAKES ME FEEL,
LIKE I TRY, LIKE I TRY, LIKE I’M TRYING TO HARD AGAIN
‘COS I’M NOT BEING ME,
AND IT’S GETTING ME DOWN,
THAT SHE MAKES ME THINK, MAKES ME THINK,
THAT I TRY, THAT I TRY, THAT I’M TRYING TO HARD AGAIN!’
Luke, Calum, Michael and Ashton came tumbling off the stage into the wings and ran straight into our arms in a big group, smothering us with boy sweat. I giggled into Michael’s shoulder.
‘Ew, you guys are disgusting!’
Ashton shook his curls, spraying little droplets of sweat onto my arms, and I squealed, hiding behind Calum.
He laughed at me, still on a high from his performance.
‘Come on, let’s go back to the Green Room then, so we can cool down. What’d you guys think anyway? Were we good?’
I grinned, and looked at Ciara, who was nodded frantically.
‘It was the best night of my life!’ she burst out, and jumped up and down on the spot, unable to control herself any longer, and I smiled as Luke blushed proudly.
‘I stuffed up that part in Long Way Home, I bet everyone noticed,’ he mumbled, and Calum laughed.
‘Ciara’s not going to give two wows if you messed up, Luke. I think she was distracted already.’
Luke laughed, and rubbed a hand through his sweaty, slightly-deflated quiff.
‘Well, I’m glad you two liked it. We tried our hardest tonight just for you guys, so.‘
‘Are you sure you liked it?’ Michael finished, sticking his tongue out at me, and I made a face.
‘Don’t make me spell it out for you, asshole. Stop fishing for compliments - yes, I liked it, yes, you guys were fantastic, yes, you all there on stage. Is that all?’
Michael made a look of mock-surprise, hands on his cheeks.
‘Wait... what did you say? What was that last thing? Say it one more time.’
I rolled my eyes, knowing full-well he knew what I’d said.
Suddenly, Ashton was behind me, his strong sweaty arms hovering dangerously close to my exposed hips - my weak tickling spot. Crap.
‘What was that, again?’ he smirked into my ear. ‘Go on, tell us.’
‘You guys looked hot as wow out there performing,’ I whispered, trying to ignore our closeness.
‘One more time, Emma.’
Calum, Michael and Luke grinned at me, and Ciara raised a cheeky eyebrow.
‘Just Ashton, or all of us?’
Calum smirked at me as Ashton moved to my side. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
‘All of you, dorkus,’ I snapped back. ‘Can we go to the Green Room now?’
‘Sure,’ Ashton agreed, and started leading us back down the corridor, but Calum darted in front of me, winking over his shoulder as he sung.
‘I play guitar, but she’s into drummers...’