Philip, I'm A Vampire

Amanda Burnes is a girl that’s not human. She’s a vampire; who sleeps in a coffin, needs permission to come into a house, does not fear light, is 179 years old, and has a good friend named Philip Brachen. One day, Amanda makes the decision to say, “Philip, I’m a vampire.” But Amanda is not getting what the reaction she thinks of. She will end up asking herself at the end, “Was it really worth it?”


14. The News Channel

   It was a sad day for Amanda. School had been canceled for the day. She woke up that day knowing Spheris is dead. Mrs. Brachen wanted to cheer her up; so she made Amanda eat some cereal. Philip had told his mother about Amanda’s story. The Television set is still on; but, on the news channel.

 “Son, where is the remote?” Mrs.Brachen asks Philip.

 “I don’t know.” Philip said.

 Amanda looks at her spoon with cereal and milk in it as though it was a living organisim that daunted her entirely. Mrs.Brachen takes out a spray bottle from under her chair, then she holds it with an index finger on the trigger while holding it at Amanda’s direction. Philip’s eye’s became completely open seeing the label ‘Holy water’.

“You better eat before I squirt you with holy water.”  Mrs.Brachen threatens Amanda.

 Amanda mumbles to herself; complaining mostly about Mrs.Brachen forcing a vampire older than her to eat man made food. 

 “Don’t you dare cuss in my house!” Mrs.Brachen shook the spray bottle back and forth.

Amanda puts the spoon into her mouth, then takes it back out and chews the cereal into bits.

 “Sa-tis-fied?” Amanda asks, while chewing with her mouth open as Mrs.Brachen and Philip look away.

Mrs.Brachen puts the spray bottle on the table

 “Chew with yer mouth closed!” Philip shields his eyes as his mother shook her head ashamed to think a hybrid Vampire has not learned not to talk when her mouth is full.

“It’s yar, not yer.” Amanda corrects him.  “That’s a common misconception of ‘your’ in Irish.”

 “I have heard it both ways.” Philip said..

Amanda puts down the spoon, then picks up the remote from under the table and turns up the volume to the TV.

 “.  .  .Son,” Mrs.Brachen said, glaring at Philip. “Stop hiding the remote under the table.”

“Mom, someone has to worry about you leaving it on the girl falls in love with a vampire and has a werewolf boyfriend channel.”

 ~                                     ~

 .     .      . Qlanbery Street.   .   .

“There was an explosion right here in this house.” Harry L Rowl said, The Florida News station reporter, fiddles with his blue tie.  He raises left hand and held up two fingers. “Where the so-called-‘Vampire’ supposedly lived in.”

Korer  gets in his way.

“I saw the other vampire!” Korer claims, getting odd stares from Rowl and his cameraman. He clears his throat and continued. “.  .  .He is definitely a vampire.”  Korer shook his index finger to both sides.

“How can you be so sure?” Rowl asks, aiming the microphone to Rowl.

“He wasn’t Spheris.” Korer blankly says the vampire’s first name.

Rowl raises a thin eyebrow at him.

“His name wasn’t released to the press.” Rowl said. “.  .  . How can you possibly know?”

 “He visited the Library, occasionally.” Korer said. “And sometimes; we had a rather good intellectual, historical argument about The Boston Tea Party incident.” The Cameraman tilts his head  sideways from behind the camera.  “He kept claiming that.  .  .” The Audio is muffled on the television set.  “. .  . had been aware what was going on.”

 Korer mentally repeats it to himself, mentally.

“Duh,” Rowl said. “He’s a ‘vamp’.”

“Vampire.” Korer corrects him.

“It’s the same thing.”

Korer glares at the camera.

“If any of you do have an internet account;  please search for the 1996 TV Show ‘Demons’.” Korer asks the civilians. “And then check for a website that has a lot of words such as sire, grandsire,and resired. I want you now to check if there are any references to ‘vamp’.”

Rowl rolls an eye at how ridiculous Korer is to him.

“This vamp lived alone, and he died alone.”

 “You are very wrong.”


“Because, he had a daughter.” Korer said.  “And  .  .  . I just said something I should--  .  . . There wasn’t a girl’s body found in there, right? Oh boy, I can only imagine how bad it is to lose your only parent. Someone probably snitched on him and told that vampire who killed him  .  . .”

“This is not the time to be a detective.” Rowl said, with a frown that couldn’t be shaken off his face. “Maybe he died because of the detective who gave out his street address and his name, not a fabled vampire who no longer exists.”

 “Err, wrong.” Korer said. “Vamps can return, just like dandelions.”

Rowl pinches his forehead, and taps his foot (which wasn’t seen on screen) feeling irritated at the so called historian.

 “This is my  .  .  . Impromptu report with a crazy historian.” Rowl said, straightening his tie. “And it looks like Florida has a couple vamps lingering around.”

 Korer then grabs the microphone and begins attacking Rowl.

“Damnit, it’s vampires you dumb—“

~                         ~                  ~

  Mrs.Brachen changed the channel to BNB that has a usual motto under its ring like symbol in the middle of a commercial worded like “Kaboom!”. She turns the volume down. Amanda is right in the middle of chewing. She came to the same conclusion that Korer did. Only who told her dad’s enemy, Sharley, where they lived? How did this information come up in the first place? Someone in her community knew her secret way before she told Philip.

 “BNB?” Mrs.Brachen raises an eyebrow at the name. “Wasn’t it originally ‘LBL’?”

“Mum,”Phlip said. “Um, we got a case on our hands.”

Amanda was staring at her bowl, figuring out who in her life could have given the information to Sharley; and who-ever brought Sharley back will have a not-so-pretty death waiting for them in the hands of Amanda.

 “Vampire girl.” Mrs.Brachen picks up the spray bottle. “Eat.”

 “Fine.” Amanda grumbles.

She’ll get to her investigating, just not right now.



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