Philip, I'm A Vampire

Amanda Burnes is a girl that’s not human. She’s a vampire; who sleeps in a coffin, needs permission to come into a house, does not fear light, is 179 years old, and has a good friend named Philip Brachen. One day, Amanda makes the decision to say, “Philip, I’m a vampire.” But Amanda is not getting what the reaction she thinks of. She will end up asking herself at the end, “Was it really worth it?”


6. A lone vampire strikes at night

    A long, healthy and sharp fingernail is seen guiding the basement door open breaking the locks on it. The latches fell on the carpet.  The door is completely open enough that Spheris steps through. His fingernails return to their human like appearance. His job is mostly a ‘no questions asked’ kind of thing. He frankly loved doing it.

  This job isn’t meant to be said, or be told.

Spheris closes the door behind him.

 “Heh,” Spheris had some connections to the police department which easily allowed him access in here. “This eyewitness. is in a dead man’s house.” And then he sarcastically notes to self, “Oh joy.”

Spheris goes to the front door and opens it slightly. It was a risky move putting his hand out. He feels around for the doorbell as he could feel his hand burning.  He presses the doorbell that sent a unusual sound throughout the entire well furniture building. Way too hot!  Spheris takes his hand out then closes the door. Spheris leans on the wall beside the door waiting to meet this eyewitness.

“Coming!” A girl shouted from upstairs.


“Stupid glass!” No other than a 15 year old girl came running down the staircase. She came down the stairs like she was in a rush. She smiles at Spheris, “Excuse me, I have ta open the door.”

She opens the door.

…Did this just happen?, Spheris thought as he stared at the girl.

“Heyyyy!” She slammed the door. “That ain’t funny Mr.Detective dude!”

Spheris didn’t smile at her comment.

“Excuse me, but you sound snude.” Spheris folds his arms, unsettled with the teenager.  He didn’t like that word at all. He didn’t like cussing at all, generally.  Those who were around him had…different reactions from him either inside or outside his house….But this girl is a teenager. That made this an exception.

“Scrap with snude!” The girl said, in a voice that indicated to Spheris  ‘scrap’ is a word that teenagers use in replacement of….bad words.  Her eyes caught side of his burnt hand, She looks at it, at best trying to decide if he put his  hand into a pot.

“Language!”  Spheris said, unfolding his arms.  He shook his index finger back and forth at the 15 year old.

The girl frowns.

“Says the man, who has a burnt hand from …touching burning food!” The girl said, making a terrible assumption on his hand.

Spheris sighs, as he thought, At least she didn’t go down the vampire route.

“Are you home alone?” Spheris asks, genuinely not used to seeing little girls home alone.  He could tell her ‘r’ pronunciation is not the best and some words this girl was saying didn’t sound what they were intended for.

She folds her arms.

“I LIVE alone!” She said.  “And I happen  ta have friends in higher places. It’s another…advantage to having parents who were drug addicts. Yes! I had parents who neglected me and just…”

Her hands became fists, her eyes squeezed shut. The girl took a breath and her eyes reopen.

 “…Sorry. I just lost my cool.”  Her hands uncurled from their fist form. She waves her hands in front of herself. “Don’t pity me, please.”

 Well…They had a little silence between them.

“…Did you see a vampire last night?” Spheris awkwardly asks. You raised a child for 150 years, Spheris thought back on his Daughter and his parenting skills, How did I become so awkward? It scares Spheris to see he’s this awkward. This wasn’t really right. Nor about her having drug addicts as parents, which is too sad.

 The girl’s eyes shine brightly enough they could have become lightbulbs.

“Yes!” She squealed. Her mood changed from being sad to being overly energized. “He was so freaking tall, he had matty hair, he had this scar on his forehead…Can I tell ya something?”

“Sure.”  Spheris said.

“I am  Ivy A.” Well at least she had a name. “Who has gone to Nevada, Illinois, Montana, New York, and back.” Ivy rambles on. “I’ve seen a Vampire, a Dragon-horse, Aliens, and oh, ghosts as well! Ya know this is the best life I ever gone into; asides to meeting the Tealins, the mothership…Ya get it.”

Spheris is not scared of ghosts, or of dinosaurs.

“I’ve seen it all.” Spheris said.

Ivy smiles.

“And he wore this light gray suit. He had an opened collar so I could see he had been bitten. His boots were so worn out.” Ivy waves her right hand in front of her nose. “And boy, I can’t smell but he claimed to be smelly! He had the jaw of a royal Egyptian pharaoh—Why are ya staring at me like that? Heeelloooow?”

She told him enough information that Spheris could project this person in his eyes.

“Do you know when the British came to drive the Dutch out of Boston?” Spheris asks her, after figuring out who this vampire is.

Ivy stares at him.

“Um…No.” She said, but then a flicker goes off in her eye. “I see a story in your eyes. You remind me of the dude whose name starts with a ‘Z’ with the black hair and the square black beard.”

“That was July 23rd, 350 years ago.. in 1664at Boston If anyone says there were 5 ships, they are wrong, there were 4.” Spheris explains to her. He takes a moment to think.  After  a while he continues. “You’ve been a great help; I know this vampire. He is Charleston McFlemming…But everyone calls him Sharley. That’s his vampire name; Sharley.”

“Who?”  Ivy asks, greatly puzzled by his words.

Spheris turns away from her and goes towards the basement doors.

“Dude, what’s yer name!”  Ivy calls out, tagging behind him. “And who did ya just through into the conversation?”

“Spheris B,” Spheris said, leaving out what the ‘b’ meant.                   

“What does B mean?” Ivy asks.

Spheris stops, and turns towards her direction.

“What does ‘A’ stand for in your name?” He asks, in the way a person could find themselves easily in a…kind of not so good situation.

Ivy frowns.

“I can’t say.” Ivy admits to him.  “But who is Sharley?” She has this keen interest. “Ya just brought his name in out of nowhere! Seriously! Ya did that and now I am freaking interested,” She waves her arms in the air, determined to at least get an answer. “I am really nosy, Mr.Detective dude.”

 Spheris goes to the basement.

“Gimme a straight answer, right this instant, ya miniature ‘ask later’ avoider man!” Ivy said, using  many words for a girl her age.   She gets in his way in this very annoying characteristic she has one foot in front of the door and one away from it.

 Spheris groans, looking up to the ceiling.

“Nobody will believe you.” Spheris tells Ivy, looking down from the ceiling.

She sneers.

“I nearly got scared to death by a little Russian or German child ghost, try me!” Ivy raises her voice at the last part.

Spheris looks back to her, and his face morphs into his twisted, vampire face and he let Ivy see his sharp fangs.

“I don’t mind killing people who get their nose into our business.” Spheris slides the frozen girl from the door and put her to the side.  

Ivy is standing there shocked, but that quickly fades away.

“He looks uglier than you!” Ivy retorts, as Spheris opens the basement door.

We hear Spheris chuckle, as he went down the basement ignoring whatever Ivy had to say.

 “And I ain’t scared of beings like ya,” She then adds something else before rolling her eyes, just a quick word. “Vampires.”

Ivy shuts the door. And that was the last she saw of him for a long awhile.  She stops, thinking back what he said. She pouts, finding it no fair that a vampire just told her that he was sired 350 years ago in Boston. And that the basement has secret passage ways. She turns around towards the basement doors.

“They just wait for us to figure out the obvious, great.” She then goes into the living room, then sat on the couch and put her feet on the table and pressed the remote.

In a blink the scene is over.

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