what? I couldn't. it was too soon! but I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. but it was just a single kiss? but I bet if I'd kiss him he would think that I like him again. but I don't really like him yet. I forced myself not to, it would be better if I wont love him. but come on! he is Harry Styles! ugh this better be over soon. 'well?' he said. Okay, don't think! if you think, things would just get more complicated. 'Okay..' I said. I may regret it, but at least I can say I kissed Harry Styles. and I wouldn't have to clean the house. he came closer, resting his hands on my waist. when his face was so close that I could feel his warm breath. I gulped, should I do this? but I didn't had the time to think, because soon I felt his lips, softly crashing mine. my hand in his hair, we stood there for what felt like ages, but as soon as I felt his tongue against my lips, asking for entrance. I pushed him away. first, he looked a bit dissapointed, but then he looked satisfied. 'that was amazing.' he said with a smile, I just smiled back. I couldn't believe I just kissed Harry Styles. and if things just couldn't get any weirder. I realized that Harry just took my first kiss. yeah he kissed me when I told him my whole story, but that wasn't really a kiss. a kiss has to come from both sides, and that one didn't. 'What's wrong?' he asked with a concerned glance. 'n-nothing, it's just, that was my first kiss.' I said rather softly. Harry grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. 'That makes this even more perfect love.' I couldn't help it but smile. he was really sweet. but at the same time, I imagined my first kiss to be a little different. like not being kidnapped! but I have to admit, I did felt something... wait what? get a hold on yourself Sophia! he is your kidnapper! suddenly, I felt really weak. I was exhausted and felt sick of the kiss, well not of the kiss, but more circumstances. I didn't cry, I just went really silent and depressed. I felt really lonely, like I couldn't stand up for myself. I didn't really know why I felt like this, but I did. Harry noticed. 'is there something love?' I didn't want to tell him. 'nothing, it's just my stomach hurts.' it was a semi-lie. 'Aww poor baby.' he said, like I was a little child. 'He lifted me up bridal-style and carried me to his bed. he gently put me into bed and then lied down next to me.
I felt his strong protective arms resting on my waist. holding me in a tight, but comfy grip. I admit it felt safe, somehow I really enjoyed it when a boy takes care of me. it felt safe. it was probably very late, and I was exhausted. then all of a sudden I heard Harry, softly singing 'Little Things' in my ear. I realized I loved his raspy voice. this moment really couldn't get any more perfect. but even though I loved this moment, It didn't changed my mind about escaping. I soon felt asleep in his warm, safe grip.
when I woke up, I heard Harry breathing deeply. so he was still sleeping, ans still holding in his grip. I wanted the get out of the bed and take a shower, but as I removed the sheets, Harry tightened his grip even more, groaning grumpy. 'stay in bed love.' he said in his morning voice. wow, that sounded really sexy. 'I cant, I'm going to take a shower.' His answer was just a groan, but I left the bed anyway. I grabbed a baggy tank top, skinny jeans and my uggs. I was going for a casual look today. as I entered the bathroom, I looked in the mirror. How could someone like Harry, fall for someone like me? I look hideous, and not because I just woke up, but I am hideous. ugh I hated every single thing about me, that had always been this way. I was such an insecure girl. because my friends used to get a lot of attention from buys, but I didn't. my friends used to get compliments, but I didn't. it made me so insecure, that I hated my outside. But Harry seems to look through it. he thought I was beautiful on the outside, and inside. when I was with Harry, I felt loved. but I had to escape, I can't live with my kidnapper? even though we didn't face eachother as 'kidnapper and hostage' we still were. these circumstances took confusion to a whole new level. when I finished showering, finished my hair and clothes. I walked towards my room, which by the way was next to the door. I walked passed Harry's room and saw he was still sleeping. whoa wait! I didn't remeber Harry locking the door last night? should I check? as I walked up to the door, I opened it ans it wasn't locked. my eyes got wide and I paralyzed. this was my chance!
I silently walked out of the door, and did my best to close the door as silent possible. i ran to the front of te house, as adrenalin filled my body, I suddenly paralyzed. should I escape? If I got home, I would have to take care of my family again. I didn't want to take care of them, even though they are my family. all my life I da to take care of others and this was the only time someone took care of me. since Harry was still asleep, I sat down in the grass, behind the house. as I explored my surroundings, I realized I was in the middlle of nowhere. with a view over a huge countryside. what a view... I finally had a moment for myself. I could figure all the things out now, thank God Harry was still asleep, so I had all the time. I've been here for over a few weeks now. didn't hear anything from the media anymore, nothing from my family. but I didn't think that much about my family since the past few days. and to be honest, I actually had given up on them. a tear rolled down my cheek. what was I going to do? I had no life anymore... i really wanted to go back to my friends, but at the same time, whenever I was with Harry, I felt safe and loved. I even doubt I was falling in love with him. I sat there for like half an hour, just figuring things out. then I heard Harry shouting 'Fuck!' I could hear every single thing he said since I sat next to the house. then I heard a phone conversation. 'Louis you gotta help me! she escaped!... yes i know!... yeah just look for her... I know... thanks man.' end of conversation. I heard the door being pulled open. I could hear him cuss. I heard him grabbing his care keys, but I didn't say anything. I wanted to be alone for a little longer. but that wasn't going to happen, because he saw me.'Sophia?' I heard him shouting, but not in a angry voice, like he didn't know for sure it was me. who else would it be? anyway, I didn't answer. I heard footsteps comming closer. I didn't look up, I kept staring at the horizon. As he stood beside me, I didn't face him, I didn't want to. so I just faced the ground. 'Sophia, why are you here? I thought you escaped.' he said. I didn't respond, I just couldn't. afraid of the tears which I expected to came. 'are you okay love?' he sat next to me, pulling me closer to him. I looked up again, but not at Harry. I really didn't want to face him. so I just looked at the horizon again. he was about to say something, when I started talking. 'You know Harry, I wanted to escape. I really did, that was my plan. but when I stood outside, having the choice to either escape or stay, I didn't know it anymore. ever since I was here, all I wanted was escape. but now when I had the opportunity, I didn't. and you know why? because ever since I'm here. I felt loved and safe. and I never felt loved and safe. I was used to take care of others, to put myself last. but you really treated me like a princess. even though you are my kidnapper, I can't complain. so I don't know how I suddenly changed my mind, but I know I did. I always thought I had to take care of my family, but I don't even know their condition right now. and I don't even miss my friends anymore. But I just don't let people in my life as easy as I was used to. and I just couldn't leave you. You used to be my hero, but ever since you kidnapped me you weren't my hero anymore. well that's what I thought. that night when you said all those sweet things, something changed in me. even though I forced myself to hate you and to not enjoy it, I did. It took a while to progress everything. but I think I progressed everything now. I'm not saying that I love you as much as I used to, but it's near. I want this to work out. but I can't promise it'll happen soon, or maybe it doesn't work out. I don't know if I can do that, I mean you're Harry Styles! I am afraid of connecting to people, afraid they just leave me. and you can get anyone! and I nobody, you are the first boy who has honest feelings about me. I guess I'm just so afraid of what's going to happen. But what I want ot say thank you Harry, for picking me up at my weakest. even being there for me at my strongest. being the reason of my happiness, being the reason to be willing to stay alive. I know that there are thousand of girls, who really need you. just like I did. and I am just thankfull for choosing me, even though kidnapping wasn't the way it supposed to be, it was a way to get close to you. which I had given everything for. thank you Hary, for being my hero. but you aren't my hero anymore. you know why? most heroes dont know their fans. you are like my prince now, because princes know their princesses.'