Its been two days since Ali found out about my father and I'm still seriously confused about how she found out. Ive never told anyone before, not even the counsellor at school so I have no idea how she figured it out. Ive gone through those few moments so many times in my head and the only explanation I can think of is that she read my mind. Totally un-plausible, but than again, I have some random guy talking to me inside my head, so what do I know..
We've talked everyday since and I really want to ask her out. I want her to open up to me and tell me her deepest secrets, I want to help her get through whatever she might need help getting through and I want to tell her about blabs, why I suddenly zone out every once and a while and why I'm constantly changing my mind about everything. 'Hey Ali I have some crazy guy living in my mind and he makes me do stuff...' Yeah I can see that going well. Feeling frustrated at my self for being wimpy, I decide to man up and call her.
I don't let her say anything, I just speak as soon as she picks up. "Ali you wanna go to the movies tonight?" It came out so fast and Im starting to sweat.
"Yeah sure! That'd be awesome!" She actually sounds excited! Great!
"Cool, I'll be at yours around 6. Well have to walk, Im sorry, I don't have a car.." I trail off awkwardly because what 17 nearly 18 year old, doesn't have a car? Me, thats who!
"Okay cool! And don't worry, I love walking!" Also so excited and happy, my Ali. What, what am I saying, my Ali?! 'Well mate, she will be after tonight' And those my friends, were the first comforting words that have ever come out of blabs.
Oh my gosh! Is this a date!? Okay Alison, you have to tell him, you can trust him. Just tell him slowly and make sure he doesnt freak out. Who knows, he might take it well? So what I can hear peoples thoughts and talk to dead people. Maybe he'll be one of those guys that thinks its cool? Who amI kidding? That will never happen! I'll tell him, he'll tell someone and then I'll have to run and change my looks. It seems a bit drastic but what would you do if you could read peoples thoughts and someone found out. News would spread like wild fire and people would be hunting you to do experiments and research, who knows, my dad might even be one of them. He wouldn't even care that I was his daughter. If theres a new discovery to be made, my dad will be right there in the midst of it. But I have made up my mind and I am telling him tonight. I'll ask to walk through the park, sit down somewhere quiet and tell him.
Its half past five and Im almost ready. Its quite a chilly night so I decided to wear some my favourite skinny jeans, they were a dark blue, not navy, just dark blue, with that I wore a large knit jumper like thing with a hood and combat boots since we were walking. Not that I minded.
The doorbell rings and I grab my bad from the hook near the door, opening it I see Josh in jeans and a hoodie. His hair was tousled in just the right was, to put it simply, he looked great.
"Hey!" My smile is huge and I can't control it, its like the corners of my mouth are attracted to my eyes. But that would just be weird..
I step outside and look the door, Josh immediately grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. I like him so much, I shouldn't but I do and I can't help that. The bruise on his cheek has faded slightly and he hasn't covered it up this time. I can't believe that his father would do that to him, he's such a sweet and caring guy he doesn't deserve what his father does to him.
The walk to the movies was nice, we didn't speak much so it was silent apart from the sound of trees swooshing and a few cars driving past. It was a comfortable silence and the whole time, Josh didn't let go of my hand once. That made me feel loved.
We decided on seeing Divergent, he wouldn't let me pay for the tickets or the popcorn even though I insisted several times that I did. He replied with 'my man hood is already damaged enough, besides the girls not suppose to pay' I chuckled and smiled at him. Once we had picked up the popcorn and drinks we walked into the theatre, taking two seats int he very last row.
Half way through the movie, Josh did one of the many cliché things that girls love. He put his arm around my shoulder while pretending to stretch an yawn. I immediately yawned and we both just burst out laughing and got an angry 'SHH' out of the other people in the theatre. I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled. I loved this feeling, content maybe? Although now I think I'm leaning more towards love. I think I love Josh Mayon. What have you gotten yourself and Josh into Ali?
'Just do it already! Your a cowardly piece of crap and if you don't do it right now I will flipping make you do it'
'Do you always have to be so hostile?! What the hell man, Im just working up the nerve to actually do it! Get over yourself and shut up'
'Nope thats it, you do it right now or I will ale you pick your nose with her finger!'
'Oh my god you wouldn't? Wait. You can't control me stupid. But fine, if it gets you to shut up, I'll do it now.'
Wow some dude was having a serious argument inside his head, funny thing was though, they were two different voices. Usually when people talk to themselves, they have the same voice, but not this guy..
Josh leaned over and put his mouth up to my ear. "Hey Ali, do you maybe wanna, be my girlfriend?" My eves widened and I turned to face him. His eyes were wide and he was chewing on his lip, making his piercing stick out a little. Damn I love that ring..
I leaned over to his ear and whispered "Of course" He smiled and stood up, pumping the air and letting a slightly loud 'Woo'. After having to apologise to the people watching the movie, he sat back down and grabbed my hand, I once again rested my head on his shoulder, this is officially the most perfect moment of my life.
"That was such a good movie" I stated as we walked out of the theatre. Josh smiled and grabbed my hand again. We're officially dating! Woo! I can't help the pang of guilt that hits m stomach at the fact that he doesn't know. "Do you wanna go for a walk in the park?" The park was just across the street. Convenient or what?
"Sure" And we headed to the park..
"Ali, I need to tell you something." Josh said hesitantly as we sat down on a seat near the river.
I look at him and smile, nodding for him to continue. When he's finished I'll confess.
"Don't think I'm crazy okay, and please don't leave me when I tell you this." I grab his hand and interwind our fingers. "Theres this..guy, well a voice. Its inside my head. He talks to me, tells me things and fights with me. He insisted that he was a person, I know it sounds insane but I can't get rid of him. I call him blabs but he says his name is Lenard. I don't know how he got there or when he got there but he's a part of me. I know this is freaky and a lot to take in and I understand that you need time to take it in. But I want you to know, I really like you and I know we haven't known each other for very long, I have been happier than I have been in a long time, all because if you. If you want to leave, I completely understand, I just couldn't keep lying to you all the time." He looks at me and his eyes are so emotional. Love, fear, confusion. Then it hit me, the voices in the theatre, the man talking to himself with two voices incise his head was Josh.
"I have to tell you something as well. This is going to be hard to take in as well and I hope you don't think I'm a freak. You know how you have a voice in your head. Well, I can hear that voice. I can hear peoples thoughts, sometimes I can block it out but other times they just flood my mind. I can also talk to spirits, dead people. They have to talk to me first but I can communicate with them. I drank an experiment that my fathers assistant was working on. He's a scientist, I had a seizure and couldn't hear or see for weeks. When my hearing and sight suddenly came back, I could see things-spirits and I could hear their thoughts and other peoples as well. When you think about it, its funny. You have a voice inside your head and I can hear voices.." I trailed off and looked down. Josh surprised me by squeezing my hand, he didn't look scared of me, just confused and slightly shocked.
"Thats how you knew about what my father does to me, isn't it?" He sounded like I had betrayed him, like I listened to what was inside his head on purpose.
I nodded. "I swear I didn't deliberately listen to your thoughts. I was worried about you and let my guard down, your thoughts just invaded my mind.."
He seemed to kind of understand, well as much as someone in his situation could. I was grateful that he was trying to understand what I was going on about. That he wasn't absolutely freaked out about what I could do, but I guess he is slightly in the same boat as me.
"Okay, Im taking this better than I thought. But I'll try my best to cope and understand whats going on in our lives. And I don't want anything to change between us, I really like you and I don't want to lose what we have."
He turned to face me, grasping my chin and turning my head to face him too. He leans closer until there is only a few centimetres between us. He leans in, closing the space between us and our lips connect.