After Taylor leaves, I go down to the lobby to see if I can find Mahogany. I'd really love someone to talk to right now. God, I'm so confused. I don't want to deal with Cameron right now so I'm praying I don't run into him… or anyone else.
I take a deep breath because I'm totally freaking out and press the elevator button. I stand tapping my foot waiting. When the doors finally open, Arron, Nash, and Matt are about to walk out.
I try to avoid eye contact. I really don't want them asking questions. "Jocelyn, are you okay?" Matt asks. Damn.
"Uh, yeah," I fake a smile. "I'm just looking for Mahogany."
"I think she went with Jacob to his room," Nash says.
"Oh, well, I'm just going to go down to the lobby then," I say. My voice cracks at the last bit and I'm pretty sure they can tell I'm not fine. I just duck my head and go into the elevator, quickly pressing the button for the lobby.
The doors close and I break down. I sit in the corner and pull my knees to my chest, balling as the elevator descends. I hear a ding and immediately stand up.
Tears streak my face and I'm pretty sure my makeup is running. I look up and the three of them are standing there.
"You're not fine," Aaron says hugging me. I sob a bit into his shirt but then stop immediately. I hate crying in front of anyone. It's weird to think that he's two years younger than me. Nash and Matt join in on the hug. They must have run down the stairs to beat me here.
I feel the elevator close and start to go up. We're probably going back upstairs. The doors open and we start walking towards one of their rooms.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Nash asks. Arron's arm is around me, guiding me down the hall.
"Why isn't Mahogany ever around when I need her?" I think out loud.
Matt shrugs. "That's why we're here now."
"Thanks, you guys. I don't want to bore you with all my boy problems. God, I'm such a crybaby," I say wiping my face.
"No you're not. And it's seriously no problem," Nash says.
"Yeah, come on. It'll make you feel better," Arron offers.
After a few more minutes of arguing, I finally agree. Now I'm sitting in an armchair in Aaron's room with the three of them staring at me.
"So… what's wrong?" Matt asks.
I shove my face into the pillow I was holding. "Everything!"
"Woah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" Matt says before Nash and Arron smack him.
"Come on, man," Nash says.
"What did I say? I was just trying to help!" he says.
"Just get out, man. We got this," Aaron says.
"Fine," he gets up to leave. "Sorry, Jocelyn."
I let out a laugh but it sounds more like a choke. "It's fine. See you tomorrow, Matt."
As soon as he leaves we all continue our conversation. "Are you going to get back together with him?" Nash asks.
"I don't know," I say.
"Do you want to?" Aaron asks.
"I don't know. I mean, in a month, we'll be breaking up anyways, right?" I say. "In a month, he'll be going back to California and I'll be going back to Illinois. I still have my senior year! He already graduated and he told me he wasn't going back to MagCon. How are we ever going to see each other?"
"You're right. About all of that," Aaron starts.
"The other day he told me he was going to say he loves you…" Nash says.
"Yesterday. On the Ferris wheel. He told me and I didn't say it back. I don't know why but I just couldn't do it. And I feel awful for it."
"You can't control your feelings," Aaron says. "You say you love him when your ready."
"Yeah," Nash agrees. "I guess just do what you feel is right."
"That's exactly what you've got to do, whatever it may be. Just do what makes you happy," Aaron finishes.
"Thanks, you guys. I'm sorry I bored you two with my problems," I say.
"No, we're your friends. It's part of the job," Cameron says hugging me.
"I'll walk you back," Aaron says.
He walks me there and then says goodnight. I hug him and thank him once again. "You can tell me anything, you know."
I break down and start crying again. He pulls me into him and tears start to soak his shirt. "I can't get back together with Cameron," I sob.
"I love Taylor," I say.
"Oh my god," he says.
"Oh my god. I'm such an awful person"
"Stop saying that. You're the most caring person I've ever met… a little too caring sometimes. You just need to tell both of them the truth and then things will work themselves out. Everything happens for a reason."
I break away from his hug. "You're right. You're not a normal fifteen year old."
He chuckles. "I'm normal."
"You're way too mature for your age," I argue.
"Am not," he smiles.
"Good night, Jocelyn."