When I wake up the next morning, I really don't want to get up. There's MagCon event today but it doesn't start until four. That's just the personal meet and greets. Either way I don't want to get out of bed.
There's a knock on my door. "Jocelyn, it's Cam. Please open the door. We need to talk."
I don't answer. A couple minutes later he tries again. I give in because I know he won't stop until I answer.
So I get up and let him in. It's better to get this over with. He looks relieved when I open the door. "Good morning," he says as he walks past me and sits on my bed.
"Listen, Jocelyn. I'm so sorry… about everything. I know what I did was out of line," he starts.
"I know, Cam and I forgive you," I say.
He blinks as if he's surprised. "Really? You forgive me? That easily?"
I nod. "Yeah. I know it wasn't all your fault. Taylor didn't really help the situation."
"We're both at fault," he stands up. "I just have to accept that he's your best friend. And I can do that."
I pull away from him. "Cameron, we can't get back together."
His eyes flash an expression of hurt. "Why not?" He almost stutters.
"I'm sorry, Cam. I just can't."
He holds my hands in his and tries to look into my eyes. I avoid the eye contact because if I look at him I'll just cry more.
"Jocelyn, what's wrong?" He asks. I shake my head. He gently lifts my chin up so I'm facing him. "Why not?"
I watch as a single tear runs down his face. "Cameron." I try to speak but it comes out as more of a whisper.
"Is it because of Taylor?" He eyes search mine for an answer. I finally muster up the strength to nod. He looks away for a moment and I see two more tears fall. He lets go of my hands and steps back. He's nodding as if he's trying to accept what I've just told him.
"Jocelyn, I love you," Cameron says.
"No, I love you even though I know you'll never love me back. And I have to live with that. I don't have a choice."
"Cameron, I'm so sorry," I say. Tears soak my face.
"Can I at least have a hug?" he asks, tears stain his cheeks as well. I nod and he pulls me into him. We hug for a while, silently crying before he breaks away. He softly kisses my cheek before heading for the door.
He stops when his hand is on the doorknob. "Goodbye, Jocelyn."
We get through the meet and greets pretty quickly. Thank god Cameron isn't next to me. Girls kept asking about him and I had to pretend everything was alright.
Now we're all sitting on the side of the stage while Shawn sings. He's so good. I'm still surprised every time I hear him. Right now, though, I'm distracted. I try to focus on the music, but my eyes keep shifting to Taylor.
If I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way, it could ruin our friendship. I don't think I could handle losing him. But if I don't tell him, I'll spend my whole life wondering.
I let out a sigh and pull my knees to my chest. "You okay?" Aaron leans over and whispers in my ear. I nod and the song finishes. The rest of the night goes by like a blur.