Lost (A tobias love story)

She wants to be happy. She wants to be free. This 'she' is Tracy Cloud. Hi, I am Tracy, as you already know, and I'm alone. Some people use the words lost and alone too lightly. People say that being alone is just when you're the only person in a room or something. The aching emptiness that creeps inside of you every waking moment, reminding you that you aren't worth it the the true meaning of alone. Being lost has a whole different explanation. Lost is when you're surrounded by this cold, hard feeling as if it were to swallow you whole. I am lost and alone. But on top of all that… I'm divergent.


2. Before

Tracy's POV 

click… click… click

The empty hallway in my plain grey, Abnegation house is completely silent other than the soft snipping sounds behind my mid- back. The small silver scissors maneuver shakily but swiftly through the edges of my hair. 

Then, the thought of the test creeps into my thoughts. The test that will determine my future. The test that will define me. What faction will I end up getting? I have absolutely no idea. But instead of fussing over it, I push the thought out of my head and pay attention to the things around me.

I feel the hard wood of the stool I'm sitting on below me. I feel the soft breaths of my elderly next door neighbor cutting my hair. I slightly look up at my reflection. I have really changed over these past six months.  I thought.  Well, as different as a person can get over half a year. 

 Just now notice what I'm wearing, a long sleeve shirt and trousers with simple sneakers. All grey. Abnegation grey. I quickly look back down before the old woman behind me notices.  

The old woman behind me is Mrs.Cobb.  She was the one that basically gave me all the important necessities I needed to survive. And that's a debt that I'll never be able to repay.

"It's alright to wonder…" I hear her say. What is that supposed to mean? What's okay to wonder? 

"what do you mean by that?" I say. But she responds with an answer that gets me nowhere.

"you'll figure out soon enough." I turned my head around at her. I look into her wise, golden eyes. Searching for an answer. But I don't find one. I nod.

Mrs.Cobb steps back admiring her work. She braided two parts of my hair leading to a simple knot at the back of my head. She knows that the hairstyle is too complicated for Abnegation but she did it anyway. I brush my hand at the back of head feeling the small braids to the bun. I stay silent knowing that both of us have nothing to say. 

I slide of of the high stool and grab my bag. "Well Tracy, I have to head home, and you better get to school so, I wish you the best of luck." Mrs.Cobb says.

"alright. I'll see you at the choosing ceremony then." I smile. I quickly trot out the door to get to school.


Extra strands of my hair flutter along with the breeze as I sit down at the tables. I look out of one of the many windows of my school. Countless of Dauntless teenagers laugh and scream as they all jump off of a moving train. They look so happy. So free.

"So, are you nervous." I say to my only friend Johnny Cade while pushing the thought out of my mind. He looks like he's at least 12 years old but he's really 16. He stays silent with his hands shaking underneath the table. He has a calm expression painted on his face. Probably trying to cover up his nervousness. 

"Yeah." he sighs "Nervous just about explains it" He smiles at me. I return that smile just as I hear,

"Johnny Cade, Amelia Curtis, Rane Cashdan, Robert Cambert, and Keith Cellini please report to your testing rooms." A lady spoke from across the room. Johnny looks at me startled. I take his hand and give him a reassuring squeeze. 

"You're gonna do great." I say. "I wish you the best of luck" I finish, repeating Mrs.Cobb's words. Johnny nods and tosses mesomething. It seems to be a small, gold sphere attached to a thin chain of the same color. 

"what is this." I whisper, not wanting others to hear. Johnny starts walking away and says.

"I'll explain it to you after school."  I stare at him as he walks away. I look down at the object. I then realize that the small ball opens to reveal a small silver pearl. 

"This is beautiful" I whisper to myself. I wonder how he managed to get it. He is Abnegation so wouldn't that stand out even if he was just holding it?

I pull the necklace over my head and tuck it under my shirt. I hope nobody notices...

I stare out the large window as I hear, "Tracy Cloud…" That's me. I stand up with my hands shaking rapidly. I grab onto the hem of my shirt to hide it. I finally reach my destination of the long hallway. I look around to see many doors most likely leading to the testing rooms. Nobody ever goes into these hallways with the exception of these tests. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see a Candor woman in black and white. 

"let's go, follow me." she says with a calm voice. The woman leads me down the hallway and into one of the rooms. Inside the room is a reclining chair, and a metal box next to is. to it's right, I  see a computer system and a wooden chair. I step into the room and sit on the reclining chair expecting that's what I have to do. 

"alright, so my name is Kathrine and I'll be testing you. and your'e Tracy?" Kathrine asks. I nod because I have no words. I'm so nervous I swear I feel like something in my test will be abnormal.

"Can you drink this?" she says holding out a clear liquid in a small cup.

"what is it? what does it do?" I ask. I don't want to be drinking something that Iv'e never heard of. 

"Wow, I've never met a curious Abnegation before… anyway, it's a serum that sends signals from your brain to the computers so I can see your results." Kathrine speaks that sentence as if she is reading from a textbook or something. I grab the cup and swish the liquid around. I slowly bring the cup up to my lips. And tip the cup back.

I hear the a muffled voice. "I wish you the best of luck"

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