If I Can't Have You || Larry Stylinson

If I can't have you, Lou, then I don't see a reason.


2. { t w o }

-2 years ago-

What is this?


It's uncomfortable and unsettling. A mixture of anger, hurt and sadness overcomes me. Is this what happens when I take look at them? At their entwined hands? Him and her; so happy and in love. It's just the way it's supposed to be, but why do I hate to see them so happy?  Why can't I get myself to smile. Even a fake smile will do, but no, I just stare at them waiting for a response from me. It's as if I was frozen.

Louis looks at me and smiles, looking happy.  The girl next to him smiles and I notice how beautiful she is. I look down at her hands in his.

A lump in my throat appears and I start feeling queasy. I can't even breathe right. What is wrong with me? My eyes start blinking too much and I can't look straight. I don't even feel stable right now. A minute too long and they are still smiling at me. My mouth is dry, so I lick my lips. I take a deep breath and finally manage to smile. A fake one at least.

Louis opens his mouth and in the brief second I feel myself holding my breath, scared of what might come out of his mouth.

"Harry, meet Eleanor, my girlfriend."


And in that very moment, I knew Hell began.  

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