Hey guys :) so I just read through what I just wrote and I went off on a huge tangent and I'm not quite sure how it happened all from that simple quote haha, but I think I prefer it to what I originally had planned so I hope you enjoy it and get something from it too :)
"It would take an astonishing human being for me to even consider getting back into a relationship." - Taylor Swift.
I feel like it's not just this quote but Taylor herself who is inspiring me more than ever recently. This quote just sort of made me realise it. She really is not thinking about relationships or boys or whatever right now, she is completely content with her fans, her friends, her career, her home, her cats (of course) and herself. I see all of these pictures of her walking around New York looking amazing and happy. I am so happy to see her so happy and it's inspiring for me.
I'm sort of entering this new part of my life where I'm recognising my worth more (see chapter 18 haha!), where I'm not really standing for people being selfish, where I'm not giving up parts of myself for others. I'm just becoming more independent and I love that.
I love my friends so much, they make me so happy but I think there might have been a time where I was kind of just content on making them happy rather than myself. They didn't ask anything of me, nothing dramatic ever happened, I don't resent them at all, I just think I was mentally ready to drop anything and do whatever they needed me to. Don't get me wrong, I'd still do anything for them, but I think I'm also learning to take myself into consideration in some cases and I think that's really important. I don't think it's about being all about yourself and I also don't think it's about being completely selfless. I think you have to find a balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of the people you love.
I think it's very important to be aware of yourself. I think it's very important to be aware of what you believe in, what you like, what you don't, what you want from life. I think it's important to take breaks from people sometimes. I think it's important to enjoy your own company. Not all the time if you don't want to, that's going to do the complete opposite, but to respect yourself you need to think of yourself. If you've had a bad day where things just keep going wrong, if every conversation you're having with a friend keeps becoming about them and their interests, if people in general are just getting a bit much, then go and sit by yourself for a while. Watch crap reality shows, listen to your favourite song, read a book, just sit and think, whatever you like. I just think it's important to be okay with being by yourself sometimes.
I guess this chapter ended up being a lot about independence which I value so much and I suppose that's why it might be coming off like me saying that I'm tired of my friends and family and like to be alone, but that's not the whole picture at all! I'm really not the type of person to spend loads of time by myself however much it sounds like it from this chapter, this chapter is just talking about the independent aspect. In reality, I absolutely love spending time with people and I love meeting new people and I love having friends.
I have found the balance between everything. Yes, I like my own company and like to be by myself sometimes but I also absolutely love spending time with my friends most of the time and I love my family and I love being around people that I love. I guess what I'm trying to get across is that it's important that you love and respect yourself just as much as you love and respect your friends and family. And that is not a selfish thing, that is a kind thing to do for yourself.