I just want to say that I'm not telling you how to live your life at all but if you are seeking advice on a more positive life, then this is where to get it! Well, there are probably better places to get the advice, but this is here if you would be lovely enough to read :)
With the chapter title, was I quoting the well known and loved Frozen song then? Yes. Is this chapter going to be anything to do with Frozen or the song? I'm afraid not, but I hope you read anyway. You never know, I may make the reference.
I'm all for positivity. I don't want to lead a fully positive life, I want there to be negative parts of it because if there aren't, what way is that to live? And me being all for positivity doesn't mean that I always want to be in a great great mood. It just means I want to be neutral and I want to be happy. I just want to lead a life where I'm happy in what I do, who I'm friends with and what my morals are.
I've just started this recently. I won't go into detail and turn this into a massive pity party because that's the last thing I ever want but from the ages of about 9 to 11, my life was a bit of a mess. There was so much negativity in it and I just hate to even think about that. There were great aspects of my life (e.g. meeting my best friend of five years now Ebony, school was great, everything like that) but there were more things wrong with it. I was lied to, I had no say in things, I had things kept from me, I learned things that I didn't want to know and I had to grow up a bit too fast meaning that I'm pretty sure I'll always mentally be about 4 years ahead of my time (I'm not complaining, I kinda love it haha). Once I got to about twelve years old I sort of just thought "that stuff happened let's not think about it and be happy" and I have been so happy, especially about my friends that I have now. I wasn't less happy back then than I am now but I guess you could say I'm just a bit more organised.
I'm fifteen soon (mentally about nineteen I suppose haha) and I feel like now I'm finding myself. I'm not saying that before I had these realisations (that I'm going to tell you about shortly) that I felt sad and not okay because I honestly think that's the happiest I've ever been. I'm as happy now as I have been since I was twelve and that's pretty damn happy, it's just that now I'm sure of what my morals are, what kind of person I want to be and what kind of life I want to lead and that's a positive one.
I'm kind of spiritual. I'm not religious in the sense that I believe in the bible and Jesus and everything and not necessarily God. I know talking about beliefs is a touchy subject and I'm not trying to say that anybody's religion is wrong, this is just what I believe. I do kind of believe there is a God but I don't believe it's the one from any religions I've heard about. I don't think the God I believe in is as kind or loving or caring. I think the God I believe in can be those things but I think the God I believe in is kind of karma as a person, I'm not sure it's really a God at all necessarily. If I do something wrong, I believe that I will pay the price for that and if I do something good I believe that good will come from that.
Realisations of morals.
Being a good person:
That whole God Karma thing links to me wanting to lead a happy, positive life. I'm not saying the only reason I do good things is in case I have to pay a price for doing something bad. I'm just saying that I believe in being a good person. I'm a Hufflepuff and people may take the mick out of that house in Harry Potter, but it's a good house. I think life is about being happy overall and when somebody is nice to you, then that makes you happy, so I want to be nice to everybody I can be to make them happy which consequently makes me happy. It's like a big chain reaction.
My friend Izzy tells me that I'm selfless quite a lot. I'll admit, sometimes I'm a little too selfless and I sacrifice things that I'd really love to have or things that I'd really love to happen but most of the time it's not that serious to me and I'm happy to do it. This isn't for everyone, some people aren't going to be happy being selfless all the time but I'm just the type of person who would rather see my friends happy than myself and that ultimately makes me happy. It's that chain reaction sort of thing again.
This is mainly about people. This links to another moral I have, Not hating. I just don't like to hate. It's negative, it's bitter, I just don't like it. I can handle hating a couple of people I go to school with, that's human and they're mean to my friends and I and that's okay because like I said, a little bit of negativity is good. But things like singers or actors or something. An example of something I could hate if I was that sort of person leading that sort of life is Nicki Minaj. I do not like her music at all and I'm not huge on the way she acts to be honest, but I don't hate her. I've accepted that I don't like her and that's okay and I'm not going to say horrible things or anything, I'm just going to stay away and allow myself to see the good things about her. Like, I think she's pretty funny and I'll embrace that about her but I won't listen to her music or make myself feel negatively about her. If you hate something passionately, stay away apart from any silver linings you may find. If you can't find any silver linings, then just stay away completely. Don't be that horrible negative person writing hateful comments over the internet.
Don't be so uptight:
I'm still working on this one. I think it's to do with labels and expectations and things like that. I'm trying to not have things so absolute, so uniform. I'm trying to just go with things as they go and enjoy life without the labels. Obviously some things need labels, some things need to be confirmed, like relationships (in my opinion). But I used to be a part of a lot of fandoms which I've stepped away from now and they just had high expectations of how much you had to like something. In their opinion if you don't absolutely love the book or show or something then you don't like it and you're not a fan. All of that just stressed me out so much so I stepped away from it and I feel better about it now.
What's past is past (regrets are pointless!):
Like I said before, I have a pretty negative past but what's the point in me regretting it? I can't do anything to change it. I may as well just accept that it happened and try and make my future as good as I can. Later on in this chapter I'm going to talk about a friendship that's made me pretty upset. It wasn't a terrible experience but it wasn't the best experience at all but I don't regret it and I don't wish it hadn't happened. I've learned from it and it's happened now and now I'm learning to move on.
This is the most important step for me. This is what has to happen for any sort of positive life to begin. You have to let go of the negative things. You have to let go of bad relationships. Personally, I have a friendship that is not a good relationship and I'm letting go of it. I do care quite a lot about the other person but they don't care about me and the friendship keeps starting and ending and starting and ending and I'm starting to feel like this person has taken my own power away from me a little bit and taken away my self esteem because they just come and go whenever they like. It's not like I'm myself around them because they don't care what I have to say. This friendship is all about them and I have let myself go back to that and go along with it again so many times because I let that selfless side of me take over (this is an example of where I sacrifice things!) and I'm tired of that. It's making me feel like a pushover and I think (for me anyway) that confidence is important. You have to remember to be selfless when necessary but still live your life for you.That friendship is just negative in so many ways that I'm letting it go. It's difficult, but I watched a video the other day by two of my favourite youtubers (I'll put information about that at the bottom) and that's helped put things into perspective for me. It was about breakups and this isn't a breakup from a relationship or anything, but it's the same sort of morals and whether you're going through a break up or bad relationship or just letting go of a friendship like me, I think you'll benefit from watching the video that I shall put at the bottom.
There are other things you have to let go of too. It may be a bad habit you've got. It may be something like the way you think and you've just got to push past that. You have to let go of any hate or bitterness that is just too much; a bit is fine of course. Maybe you have to get rid of how worried and stressed you are sometimes. Maybe you even have to get rid of some of the morals you have already. It could be fears that are holding you back that you have to let go of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling any of you to do anything, these are just ideas for you.
Sometimes it's feelings you have to let go of. I'm not the type of person who talks to my family about things, but if you are, talk to your family. I'm more of one to talk about my friends and I have talked to my friends about almost everything in life (shout out to Ebony, Izzy, Kat and Travis!). If you can't talk to anybody in real life, don't feel weird about going on Childline or another supportive website. Childline isn't just for abused children or mental illness. If you have any sort of stress, they are there to help you. It may feel weird but you'll benefit from it. Just talking about your feelings helps a lot especially when you have somebody who understands. If you've seen Frozen, just think about how happy Elsa was after she let it go! (You knew I had to make the reference).
Letting go of things, especially friendships and relationships (and feelings, I think feelings are probably the hardest things to let go of) is going to be hard but the best thing you can do is just say to yourself 'it was never meant to be easy'. I think the reason I've gone back to that negative friendship so many times is because it was difficult not to. The video that I'm linking at the end has taught me that it's not meant to be easy and it's going to be difficult but you've got to persevere because going back to these things that you're meant to be letting go of may feel right, but you're going to feel better for letting go than you are for going back.
So I may talk about a lot of negative things in this chapter, but it's to show you how you can correct those things that might be keeping you back to make your life more positive. That's only if you want to of course, if you're happy as you are, that is perfect. But I just feel like letting go of negative things, understanding my morals, having the best friends and being, well, Hufflepuff, has just made me feel a lot better and I hope you guys can take something from that.
I really hope this whole chapter didn't just come of as a rant sort of thing. I don't just talk about my own experiences to get them off my chest, I do hope that you can learn lessons and understand what I mean by reading these things :) I hope that chapter helped you be more positive in at least one way.
Here's the video I mentioned earlier. It's by SprinkleOfGlitter and Zoella who are both amazing and Louise (SprinkleOfGlitter) is especially positive! Even if the things in the video aren't happening to you right now or even if it's just your friend that's going through a bad relationship or break up, you might enjoy watching it and learn something from it for the future perhaps :) Here's the thumbnail:
Thanks for reading guys :)