I guess they want to distract me from the fact that I'm dying. Because they are making me write to you. The cancer in my lungs got worse after you left. It spread and now is taking up most of my lung tissue and some of my heart. Isaac hasn't left my room. I don't want to leave him alone. But I want to be with you. So far cancer has stayed away from him and now he's afraid that if I leave no one will be friends with him. I've tried telling him that he could very easily make new friends. Then he started crying. He said, “I don't want new friends. You and Gus are my best friends and you are all of Gus I have left." I started to tear up. I assured him that I would always be by his side and you would too. My mom and dad don't visit as often as they used too. I guess it makes sense. They don't want to stay too attached to me when I am most certainly going to die. There is this guy. . . I don't know much about him other than he's a writer. And he told me he is interested in creating a book that has to do with my life and our relationship. His name is John Green. I guess he likes sob stories. Of course, he will change some things. Like the setting and some appearance things. To protect our parents privacy. I think I should tell him about us. He can be trusted with secrets. I am actually talking to him right now so I'll continue later.
Hey Gus. I've told him our story and I got worse. I can't focus on anything very well. Isaac still won't leave. His mom came in with a dog. I guess they agreed to getting him a sight dog. He named him Gus when I told him what he looked like. Gus, his fur is the same shade as your hair. And his eyes are the same color. Did you incarnate on me? I hope not. The doctors can't remove the fluids from my lungs because it is coming all too fast. I now see spots in my vision. Does your life really flash before your eyes as you die? Is there really a heaven? Or do we just “dream" for the rest of eternity? Have you seen your ex girlfriend? Is she still like she was when she had cancer? Or are you both healthy and together and I'm forgotten? I hope not. Maybe her and I could be friends. And I can still be with you. Gus my hand hurts but, then again, everything hurts. My heart especially. Because I'm thinking of you. I was very privileged to have my heart broken by the one and only Augustus Waters. But I would of been more privileged to lived a long time with you. Maybe I can have a long, eternal, death with you. I can't write anymore. I can se
lol i ended not only mid sentence, but also mid word. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry I hurt your feels. I am. Are we okay?
(sorry. I had to)