The Morning After Effects
Waking up and having to go to school, was already giving me a stomach ache. I had begged my mom to let me stay home, but she refused and said that I had to face life. I had no choice but to do what she told me. What was worse, was that Zayn was still here. I had to admit that I still missed him, and I still had appreciation for him, but I could no longer be around him or see him the same way I once did. I was different from who I was back then. I was no longer that thirteen year old boy he met. I was no longer naïve and I no longer believed in every word that was uttered.
After showering and getting dressed, I headed downstairs. My mom was definitely cooking breakfast, but I was not hungry in the least. I still felt this sick feeling in my stomach. It was the same feeling I got when I got that panic attack. It started with these tingling sensations on my hands, then there came the dizziness and trouble breathing, the palpitating heartbeat, and then I felt my hands getting clammy to the point where they were completely paralyzed and could not move them.
Entering the kitchen, I noticed Zayn and my mom.
“Good morning” my mom smiled. But I did not return the smile.
“Good morning” I said sullenly.
“I made breakfast” she said.
“Well I’m not hungry this morning” I said.
“Mehmet, you need to eat something. I made your favorite chorizo con huevos mijo.”
“I’m not hungry at all!” I said again. This time I said it with more attitude than I intended to.
“The doctor said you’re a little anemic. That means you need to eat a little more, and you need to eat foods that are high in iron” my mom urged.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “At the moment, I can care less about my blood iron deficiency!”
“Mehmet…listen to your mom!” Zayn ordered.
I walked off, against Zayn’s and my mom’s wishes. I stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me. The door slammed louder than I actually expected.
“Why did you walk off, ignoring us?” Zayn scared me. I turned around, and there he was.
“And since when do you get off acting like I actually matter to you? Or didn’t you make that a little too obvious years ago, when you kicked me out of your life?”
“That was a mistake!”
“Why don’t you for once in your miserable life…” I said through gritted teeth. “Get out of my life already!”
“Sorry, but you’re stuck with me, and I do care about you!”
“You know what I would love to do right about now?!” I balled my fists, “I would love nothing more than to grind my fist into your face!”
“Then go ahead."
“You do know that if you encourage me, I might actually hurt you?!”
“Try it” he smirked.
At the moment, I really did want to bust his face with my hands. So I got them ready, and aimed directly at his face, but he dodged my fist. I wasn’t going to give up, so I aimed once again, but he once again dodged my fist. He grabbed my hand hard, and kicked him in the leg.
“Let go of me now!” I growled.
“I’m not going to let you go until you calm down” he laughed.
He let go of me. I looked into his eyes, but compared to the look of anger I was giving to him, he was looking at me like the kid brother he often times referred to me as.
“I hate you!” I felt tears forming in my eyes, but I sucked it up and swallowed them.
“Are you sure about that?”
I hesitated for a long time. I did not hate him, but I was still angry at him.
“Yes!” I finally answered. “I hate you… ¡te odio con toda mi alma!”
“That’s just your anger talking” he kept smirking.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through, and believe me that all of that has turned me into someone that no one can ever so much as love!”
“Don’t say that…your brother would not want that!”
“What do you know about him?!” I yelled.