Taming the Savage Beast Within
Mehmet was blazing with anger. He was saying all kinds of absurdities, which I expected because he was dealing with a lot. I loved the lad because despite all the hurtful things he was saying, he had gone through a lot.
“Why don’t you just leave me alone and get out of my life!” he yelled.
“No!” I said firmly.
“Oh no? And why do you give a darn? It’s not like I matter to you or your friends!”
“That’s where you’re wrong” I said calmly. “I do care about you, and I know I gave up on you, and that was unjust on my part. But I do care about…” he punched me hard in the face, and for a boy, he sure could punch hard.
“Why don’t you shut the hell up!” he growled. “We are not friends anymore…you know that…I know that…and everyone else knows that! So quit it already before I do something that I will really regret!”
He was tossing threats out of anger, but that was all it was. I could see it in his eyes, the exact same color that I had, that he somehow ended up being born with. All I saw in his eyes, was pain and anguish; anguish that was eating him alive inside. I needed to help him, let him know that I had not given up on him, and that I did regret everything I did to him that turned him into who he was now, an untamed and wild at heart boy, who was ready to lash out without thinking things through.
It really should not have surprised me. After all he was a teenage boy, growing up and going through bodily and mental changes that could literally drive a person into temporary insanity. I know that for a fact, because I remember what it was like being a seventeen year old boy. I remember only four years ago, I was this boy’s age. I remembered it so clearly, as if it was just yesterday that I turned seventeen.
“Just go I beg you” he begged.
“I’m not going anywhere…until you get ready and go downstairs to eat breakfast.”
“You can try and be as tough as you want to be…” he laughed. “But it doesn’t mean I’m going to listen!”
“Don’t make me make you listen!” I tried being a little tougher.
“Go ahead and try it…that is if you’re ok with getting punched again” he said sarcastically.
He was definitely being defiant. This was so unlike the boy he was that I met in England when he was only fourteen years old. Back then he always listened, was mellower than most fourteen year olds.
I missed him; the Mehmet that was mellow and easy going. The boy who was always ready to listen.
“Just go” he said in a somewhat low tone.
His breathing was suddenly heavy, like he couldn’t breathe properly. “Are you having one of your attacks?”
He sat down on his bed, lied down, and crawled into a ball. He was struggling to breathe, and right now I knew he would not resist me. “Come on” I said. “Get up and take a deep breath in through your nose, and out your mouth.”
He actually got up, and started taking deep breaths. Moments later, he was once again at peace.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes” he nodded slowly. I took his wrist, and felt the abnormally rapid beat of his heart.
I pulled him into a hug, trying my best to show him that I was really here for him. “Just tell yourself that it will pass, and that it’s nothing but your mind trying to scare you.”
“Why are you even still here?”
“Because I care about you” I reminded. “I never really stopped caring about you.”
“Don’t lie” he said, sounding weak. “You stopped caring about me that day that bitch Lulú framed me for something I didn't do” he looked up at me. “Oh don’t look so shocked. I definitely knew she was the one who did it.”
I really should not have been all that surprised. I remember the look he gave her, after she told the police to look in his backpack. Plus, he was a smart lad, so no surprises.
“How can I gain your forgiveness?” I practically begged.
“If you convince my mom to let me stay home, I promise I will think about maybe…potentially…forgiving you” he smirked.
My mom walked into the room, with a plate of food. “You need to eat something.”
“Carmen, I think it’s best if Mehmet stays home today. Maybe a day to relax, and I will personally look out for him.”
“I don’t know” she sighed. “I think it’s best if he got back to his old routine.”
“He just had an episode. I think he needs time to rest” said Zayn.
My mom put my plate of food on my desk. “Please, make sure he eats something.”
“I will” I smiled. “I will make sure he cleans up that plate.”
“I trust you will” my mom laughed. “And you…” she looked at Mehmet. “Please, behave.”
“Fine” he said.
Carmen walked over and gave her son a tender kiss, and left. I picked up the plate, and tried convincing him to go. “She’s right you know…you need to eat something.”
“It looks appetizing.”
“Then eat up, cause the doctor said you’re a bit anemic.”
“Fine” I took the plate. I grabbed the flour tortilla that my mom left for me, and turned it into a burrito with what I had.
After finishing, Zayn took the plate away. My iPhone started ringing. It was Paola.
“What’s up Pao?”
“What? What do you mean, what’s up? Do you have any idea what’s going on here?” she freaked.
I tried making sure I remained calm here, because whatever it was that Paola was freaking out about, was clearly something big enough for her to get all rowdy.
“Wait a minute, what’s going on?”
She sighed loudly. “You are never gonna believe it!”
Ok, she was just babbling here. “Ok, hold on. Do you wanna tell me, preferably in English, what it is you’re freaking out about?”
“Go to the TMZ website now.”
I opened my laptop, and went to the TMZ website. I looked at the top story, and it was about the 1D boys. “Ok, so I’m here. What am I looking for?”
“Click on the top story.”
I opened it. On top of the actually story, was a photo of Zayn, his mates…and me.”
“Is that who I think…” I stopped, unable to believe someone snapped a photo of me with the 1D boys.
“It’s you with the One Direction boys, coming out of the hospital.”
Oh god, just what I needed, to have my face published without my consent. “Paola, let me call you back.”
“Ok, but we’re gonna talk about this.”
“Sure” I said, then hung up.
Zayn walked in. I glared at him, but then I realized this wasn’t his fault. Unless Louis had something to do with it. Ok, I was being paranoid here, especially because he’s done nothing but made my life anything but pleasurable.
“What?” he asked.
I turned my laptop and showed him. He walked over, and looked at the article’s photo. “What the hell is this?”
He looked at the page for a long time. It was as if something juicy and scandalous had shown up about him. “The press was clearly following us.”
“Great, just what I needed, to be followed and looking at unauthorized photos of me on the net” I closed down my laptop.
“I’m sorry…they shouldn’t have done that” he looked embarrassed, almost like he felt bad.
“No, it’s my fault for having become friends with you guys to begin with…but hey, how was I supposed to know you guys would actually make it!”
I noticed Zayn’s hurt expression, and immediately I regretted what I said. Somehow Zayn was growing into me all over again. I guess the way he took care of me in the hospital, the way he was taking care of me now, it was hardly something that one would do if he or she didn’t care about the other person they were doing this for. I wanted to retract what I said, but something told me it was pointless to apologize, despite the fact that I now regretted it.
I left Zayn in my room. The mere fact he didn’t follow me, pretty much meant that he was probably too hurt to even try and reason with me. I had no idea what had come over me. What drove me to say all of that? Why was I being so difficult with others?
There were several triggers to this. Losing my brother was one, and of course the ghosts from the past that were still haunting me, were a bigger motive for my crazy wild attitude.
As I walked downstairs, I headed straight for the front door. Louis decided to piss me off by standing in my way. “Where do you think you’re going, loser?!”
“Louis, I’m not in the mood to deal with your pretentious bullshit, so cut the crap and get outta my way!” I demanded.
“And since when do I follow orders from a little criminal thief like you, who’s somehow managed to regain Zayn’s trust?”
He was pressing my buttons hard, and while I tried my best to not let him get to me, it was getting harder and harder not to.
“Get out of my way, before I lose what little patience I have left!”
“Are you threatening me thief?!” he yelled.
“I’m warning you…and my patience is drying really fast, so quit it before I do something that I will end up regretting!”
He taunted me with a laugh. “What are you going to do?” he tried sizing me down. “Are you going to punch me?!”
He pushed me, the way bullies often times did when they had their prey where they wanted them to be. “Don’t ever touch me like that again, ever!” I warned him.
“Come on, you think you’re a tough little boy?!” he kept pushing me.
“Louis, quit this now!” demanded Zayn, coming from downstairs.
“He’s right, stop treating him that way!” said Niall, who was starting to sound angry.
“Oh, so you’re all now going to defend this little criminal?!” he looked at his mates. “Haven’t you forgotten what he did?!”
“We don’t know he stole that money for reals” said Liam.
“For all we know it was your ex who set him up!” said Zayn.
He was talking about Lulú, Louis’s ex-girlfriend.
“Oh no you guys are not going to start trying to blame this on her!” He looked at them, and then at me. “And what for, to defend this garbage in front of me?!”
“Stop messing with him!” Zayn ordered.
“No, you’re all blind to who he really is. I never trusted him and I never will!” he looked at me like I was the scum of the earth.
He grabbed me, and I pushed him hard. He tried grabbing me once more, but this time I responded by punching him hard, making him collide against the wall, and landing on the floor.
Yeah, that was what happened when my patience dried up.
He looked at me with hateful eyes. Shooting daggers right at me.
Zayn looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. He was so used to seeing me as that defenseless little boy that needed to be protected at all times. However, I was no longer that defenseless little boy, and clearly like the rest of his friends, they were all having a hard time believing that the innocent boy, was capable of holding his own in a fight. I looked down at Louis, and spat blood on the floor.
“You’re going to regret this you little f…”
“If you keep messing with me, you’re the one who’s going to regret it. Because this little punch, was just child’s play on my part. You don’t want to even know what I am really capable of doing!”
Louis got up, and aimed his fist at my face. He made it, which only fueled my anger even more. I punched him hard in the stomach. A fast but harsh punch that had him grabbing his stomach as if I’d loosened something inside.
That however did not stop him. He grabbed and threw me against the wall. I turned however responded by pulling a one eighty. I yelled out in Spanish “Desgraciado!” then aimed right in the stomach. This time he was a little debilitated. I swung my fist with all the speed I could throw in, and landed it hard in his face. He turned around, and landed against the wall. Zayn grabbed me, but managed to break free without difficulty.
I ran toward Louis again, he turned and grabbed me, threw me and nearly landed face off against the wall. I turned quickly once more, used my arm to block him, kneed him in the stomach, and landed another punch in the face. This time he was really out of it.
Zayn as well as the rest of his mates, all looked at me like a roaring beast. Technically, I was one roaring lion that was ready to claw anyone who tried to hurt me. And now I had done the same to Louis, like I have with my enemies.