The entire drive home was awkwardly silent. Finally, we arrived. We were back to where we started, and things couldn’t get any worse. Zayn ran upstairs to his room. I wanted to talk to him and perhaps get him to tell me all that was running through his mind. It felt like I was somehow to blame for all that has happened. Zayn and Louis were clearly on the path to a fallout. What else could I have done to have avoided this action that’s occurred between them? Could I have somehow done something to avoid this?
I sat on the steps and tried cooling myself down. I wasn’t on the verge of an attack, but I still felt somewhat anxious over all the chaos around us. I finally headed up to my room and took off my pink shirt. I only barely realized I still had it on. I threw on a black tank top, and lied down on my bed. I decided to take a nap and just forget about life, and tonight’s messed up plans.
I awoke from my nap and realized I’d slept a good two hours. I got up and headed to Zayn’s room, but he wasn’t there. I noticed the clothes he had on earlier were on the hamper, and noticed a few pairs of swim trunks just hanging from a drawer. I decided to throw on a pair, and headed downstairs, and then outside to the pool. As soon as I got to the kitchen, I noticed Zayn sitting on the edge of the pool by himself. I could only see his back, but I could tell he had a pensive expression to him.
Walking out, I quietly walked toward him, sat down and put my arms around him. I gently hugged him, feeling the warmth from his body as it seeped into my cold body. He smelled of some kind of cologne. It smelled familiar, and knew I’d smelled it somewhere, but didn’t know what brand. Finally I asked, “Are you ok?”
He dipped his feet into the water, then turned and smiled. “I’m ok buddy. Don’t worry about anything.”
“I can’t stop worrying” I sat down next to him.
“Mehmet, there’s nothing for you to worry about. I just want you to enjoy being a kid.”
“I know that, but…” he gently put his hand over my mouth.
“Everything’s gonna be ok.”
“What if it’s not? What if something happens?”
“What could happen?” he frowned. “Tell me.”
I wanted to tell him what I was afraid of, but at the same time I didn’t want to reveal it. I did not want him to see me as some weakling either. “Never mind.”
“Tell me what’s on your mind” he begged.
“Forget it” I sighed, and jumped into the pool and swam off. Zayn followed me, and seeing his sudden playful expression, I knew he was going to try and persuade me to tell him.
“Come on, you’re not getting off that easily” he chuckled.
“Zayn really, just drop it” I said.
One of my pet peeves I had, was when people tried to suck out information out of me. Eduardo used to do that to me whenever he knew I was either up to something, or when he noticed I was sad or worried about something. He knew it was a pet peeve, but he still did it anyways, knowing very well how much it annoyed me. Zayn was actually no different than him. In fact before everything hit the fan two years ago, he and Zayn had also gotten pretty close as friends, and they often teamed up against me whenever they noticed something was up with me.
“I’m not going to drop it until you tell me” he laughed.
“No” I laughed. “Just let it go.”
He stood still for a long time, staring at me. His eyes said it all. He was up to his old tricks here. He shot me a smile, but there was mischief behind it. I started swimming away, and then he swam toward me. I tried reaching the steps to get out, but Zayn was on to me. He was a fast swimmer, and I knew I was pretty much outnumbered. I tried swimming faster, but he was a heck too advanced for me to be able to escape. He finally caught up to me and wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly. “I’ve got you now!” he laughed. “Now, if you want to get free, tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Zayn, please I beg you please…don’t make me. It’s a pet peeve, and Eduardo damn well knew that when he did the same thing.”
“Eduardo told me that your little pet peeve is in fact your weakness” he chuckled.
“Well he always knew how to crack me open. And apparently you do too.”
“Well, if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you, I’ll keep you wrapped in my arms for as long as I can hold you” he let out a slight laugh.
“Fine…I’ll tell you” he allowed me to turn around so I could face him. He still held me so I wouldn’t leave, and I wasn’t about to try because I knew I wouldn’t win. I never could win against my brother, and I knew I wouldn’t against Zayn. Finally I wrapped my legs around him and tightened them.
“That’s not going to make me release you” he laughed. “Come on, it’ll just be easier if you just talk to me.”
I tried to tighten my legs around him a little more to see if I could get him to release me, but it was no use in doing so with him, so I gave up and just stood there. “Why?”
“Because I’m worried about you Mehmet. That’s why. I want to be able to help you out, but I can’t unless you tell me what’s bothering you. I know it’s because of this whole thing with the photos that were leaked out, isn’t it?”
“Actually, it’s not.”
“Then what?” he asked, out faces just inches away.
Finally, our foreheads touched, and then I hugged him tightly. I was afraid to say it, but maybe telling him wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would draw us closer. “I’m afraid that something is going to separate us again.”
“No, that’s never going to happen again. Lulú and Louis won’t ever separate us again ever. I won’t allow it!” he said, hugging me back, tightly. “I promise.”
“Well promises are made to be broken.”
“Not this one!” he assured me. “I’m not going to leave you, not the way I did two years ago!”
“I want to believe you…but good things never happen to me. So I’m afraid.”
“Listen to me” he cupped my face with his hands. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying here with you.”
“But Zayn…you have a life out there…you can’t always be with me.”
“I can and I will…just because I’m in a band, it doesn’t mean that we can’t be around each other. I can bring you with me too.”
I placed my head on his shoulder, and gave him a gentle kiss on the neck. He returned it. Just having his strong arms around me, made me feel safe. Even the anxiety and panic that often times struck me with no mercy, didn’t have a chance against me as long as Zayn was around, with his strong arms to protect me. I know I sound like a little girl here, but Zayn was probably the closest I had to a brother now. I had to be sure that nothing would separate us again. “Zayn, you promise me that we’re never going to stop being friends?”
He smiled. “Of course not. That’s never going to happen ever again. I’m not going to be the wanker I was to you two years ago.”
“I know” I smiled back. “I just feel safe here with you, having your arms around me the way they are now, it’s like they’re the one thing keeping me safe from any kind of harm.”
“Well you’re always going to have my arms available to you. So any time you feel scared or are getting your panic attacks, just know my arms are always here for you to make you feel safe again. Also, you have my shoulder to cry on too” he shot me another warm smile.
“I know this is going to sound a little weird, but I love you!”
“That’s not weird” he laughed. “I love you too! If I didn’t, then I would not offer my arms to you to make you feel safe.”
“I guess” I chuckled. “And you’re seriously not going to go tonight to that event?”
“No, I’m not in the mood to see Louis or Lulú. I told Niall, Harry, and Liam. They said they understood and that they themselves don’t want to be around Louis and Lulú for long, so they might cut out early as well.”
“Everyone, except for Louis, can see right through her and the kind of person she really is.”
“That’s his decision. If he does not want to listen, then that’s on him.”
“Well, I was kind of hoping to listen to that new song…and you said it’s just a single not included on your next album?”
“Yeah, but speaking of new albums” he smiled. “I have a surprise for you!”
“Ooh, I love surprises.”
The two of us got out and headed back inside, to his room. Entering he pulled something from a drawer. He pulled out an album I’ve never seen. It was their newest album ‘Four’…which would not be released for another two weeks. “No freaking way!” I said excitedly.
“Now you can have it before anyone else does” he smiled. “And I’m glad it’s bring a smile to your face.”
“Thanks man” I hugged him again. “You’re the best.”
“No, you’re the best” he ruffled my wet and damp hair.
“But I think you should go tonight.”
“No way Mehmet. I rather stay here with you a hundred times more, than have to see Louis and his criminal for a girlfriend.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I rather stay here with you, and want to take you out to dinner.”
“But what if we get on the paparazzi’s radar?”
“I’ll be there to protect you. And I’m sure we’ll be ok.”
“Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome boy” he chuckled. “Now, get ready cause later we’re gonna go have dinner.”
“Awesome, I’ll jump into the shower to wash off the bleach from the pool.”
“I’ll do the same.”
“Cool” I smiled.