I didn’t feel good when I woke up the next morning. It was way too early and I hadn’t slept well all night. School didn’t start till 9am but I was out of my apartment at 7.30am after not being able to sleep.
I was dressed in a casual outfit. Short cut off shorts almost showing my bum, a black tank top and a red shirt over it unbuttoned. My shoes were white converse and on the top of it all I was wearing a beanie so my hair wouldn’t fly too much in every direction.
I had packed my shoulder back with the things I needed and remembered to put my journal and pen in there as well before I left.
I went to the cemetery feeling the cold morning wind on my skin before I moved in and sat down on my place by his grave. I wandered through the cemetery looking at all the names I knew before I came to his but it was already visited which angered me. No one in this shitty town knew him better than me so why would someone suddenly care. No one had been there since the funeral and I hated that they hadn’t. I was the one taking care of everything up here.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
My eyes widened when Liam spoke to me once again. He just never understood the point.
“Aww don’t give me that.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.”
“You must be really stupid to keep trying all the time. You seem way too desperate.”
“At least being desperate is better than being depressed.”
I stormed up in his face and looked him directly into the eyes.
“Say that while looking into my eyes.”
“Stop it. And let go off my shirt.”
I did as he said without even thinking about it.
“Seriously Kerry, what’s your issue? Harry was my friend.”
“He never mentioned you!”
“He never mentioned anything that belonged to the past. That’s how we’ve been told to do it. Don’t talk about the band it’s easier that way.”
“See everything seem to have been forgotten even though we worked hard and travelled the world together.”
“I don’t understand Liam…”
“Did you even know him at all?”
“I knew enough…”
I looked at the ground thinking about how much I had really known about Harry even though I loved him so terribly much.
“Let’s go get some coffee. I’ll explain you everything.”
He looked at me begging and for once I felt like going somewhere with him and actually figure this out. I took a deep breath before I nodded and followed him to the nearest café where we got our coffee and then went out for a walk through the only small park in town.
“So Harry was in a band before he got here?”
“How long have you been away from everything?”
“Forever. I’ve probably heard about it, celebrities have just never been my thing.”
“Harry and I were in a band called One Direction with 3 other lads. Niall, Louis and Zayn but somehow it didn’t work for us in the long run and everyone wanted to do whatever they liked the most. Niall is back in Ireland where he is from. Zayn is still in London as far as I know off. He’s getting married soon. Louis is home with his family even though he’s the oldest. I guess he’s spending quite some time with his girlfriend as well.”
“And Harry came here…”
“He wanted to try something different and go to a place where people would treat him normally.”
“He was the best thing that ever happened to this town.”
“I know he was Kerry.”
“And what brought you here?”
“I’ve been here from time to time. I don’t live far away and whenever Harry needed me he would call me up and we would meet outside of town because he was scared people would know when they saw us together.”
“No one ever talked about it. Harry was the guy in town that everyone cared about because he was the sweetest and kindest person to everyone around him. He was grateful for everything he was given and the chances he got here.”
“He started talking about you after he had been here for a week, and I knew that the Harry I knew was gone because he was so different and so much more passionate but all he was passionate about was you. Beside of course his usual show off attitude that he needed to be the person he was.
But Kerry, Harry was one of my best friends. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk about me it was just because it was better if he didn’t.”
I thought about the words he had said. They seemed so strange to me. My Harry had a past of fame that I didn’t know about and barely anyone in this small town did because we were so back in time with everything and all we really cared about was each other.
“I was invited to the party that night and showed up really late so everyone would be drunk when I got there. I saw the fire and I wanted to safe him but then you ran after him and I just prayed for everything in the world that you would have my mate with you out again.
I’ve never seen or heard Harry talk about a girl the way he talked about you. It was like you were magic to him. You saved him when he needed it the most and you risked your own life to safe him as well.”
“Of course. He was my boyfriend I’ve never cared more about anyone.”
“I don’t think you understand. Harry’s been the one who’s been with some of the biggest star in this world and he could get whatever he wanted but he wanted you and you were the one that fitted him best. It’s amazing seeing it because it shines in you that you need another guy like him but no one will ever really be Harry will they?”