Crook Disposition

A thought that crossed my mind today which seemed to spiral down into something much more. Haven't been on for quite a while due to university, but i'll be sure to try and go on more.


1. Disposition

Im looking for something,

A chance at the least,

To change the persona,

That was given to me.


Its seen the best,

And its seen the worst,

But I don't want it with me,

No matter what the cost.


The ties that I instigated,

Were loosened and untied;

As the fishing line I cast,

Caught nothing but despise,


A boat without an anchor,

Like a ship without a rudder,

No hope in which I walk,

Will bring nothing but anger.


My steps lack resolve,

As my persona grimly holds on.

Walking blindly I will stumble,

But it will always help me stay strong.


For what I am lacking in person,

It makes up with knowledge unknown.

But lately it seems that im far off,

From reaching the beacon of hope.


I tell myself it's too late now,

Since nothing will last forever,

But even I know that this isn't true,

As long as I continue this endeavor.


Every once in a while I'll look back,

But be blinded with nothing but dread.

The footsteps I made now have faded,

To nothing more then that of the dead.


Looking sideways makes things harder,

As I look at the bridges at bay,

But I know that the paths of the pleasing,

Will lead to betrayal and blame.



"Please leave me alone" I will beg.


"Please let me go somewhere more bright".




But my persona will only look forward,


As it has for the entirety of my life.





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