I woke up and I had a headache. Wow drinking and crying isnt good. I stood up and Cinthia was still sleeping. Her make-up was smeared everywhere and her eyes were red and puffy. I stood up and glanced at her before I closed the door.
I walked downstairs into the kitchen and Harry was sitting down on the island drinking tea. "Hey mate." I said with raspy voice. Harry looked at me and waved. I grabbed a water bottle and stared at him. "Whats up?" I asked.
Harry took a sip and looked at me. "Do you think its right for her to be here all alone?" Harry asked. I shook my head no. "Its her choice we cant stop her." I said quietly. "Thats it? Your not gunna even try to convince her? What kind of boyfriend are you?" Harry said raising his voice.
He stood up from his seat and threw the cup of tea on the floor. The cup shattered in pieces like my heart. Tea and glass was everywhere. "I cant believe you?Your sick." Harry spat and walked out. I put my head in my hands and I heard a door slam really loudly.
"What am I supposed to do?" I silently said. I heard light feet run down the stairs. I heard someone gasp and I turned around. Cinthia was standing there just wearing my black shirt which reached up to her thigh but further considering the fact that shes tiny. She looks like she weighs 80-90 pounds.
"Zayn what happened?" She said as she bent down and started picking up the glass. I grabbed a cloth and started cleaning up the tea. Cinthia stopped picking up the glass and looked at her hands full of glass.
"Whats wrong?" I asked her. She didnt speak she just stared at the glass. She threw the glass back down on the floor and slowly backed up. She looked so scared, her face went pale and she started shaking a tad bit.
"Cinthia, whats wrong?" I asked her again getting closer. I put both of my hands on her shoulders and she quickly hugged me. She seemed so upset by the glass, whats wrong about it? She pulled back and looked at me. "Sorry." She muttered and picked up the pieces again.
She threw them away and I washed the dirty cloth. "So what happened?" She asked. I scratched the back of my head. "Uh Harry accidentally tipped over the cup of tea and it fell." I said lying. Cinthia nodded her head and turned around. She slowly walked away and left me alone in the kitchen.
I slowly walked away from Zayn and I went up stairs into our room. I knew he lied to me, but I dont wanna pressure him to tell me the truth. I cant believe I freaked out in front of him cause of the glass. Im such an idiot. Now I have to explain it to him and Im scared to open up about it cause nobody knows the whole truth about it. I always told them little parts to it cause I didnt wanna tell them anything. But Zayn is my boyfriend he deserves to know. Niall needs to know as well.
I walked towards my drawer and pulled out navy blue high waisted jeans and a simple black crop top. I quickly changed in the bathroom and did my make-up. I had to put extra concealer around my eyes to cover the redness but it didnt really work. I left my hair alone in its natural waves and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my sunglasses and walked out of the room slipping on my socks and vans.
Zayn was wearing his black jeans and he put on a white shirt and grabbed his shades. I smiled at him and he slipped on his vans. "C'mon me you and Niall are going to the beach to walk." I said stretching my arm out for him to hold my hand.He took it and we walked downstairs. Everyone was in the living room and I saw Niall.
I walked over to him and whispered in his ear about us going out. He nodded his head and got his shades and placed them on. "We'll be right back I have to talk to them. Ninel its about the past. If you want tell them." I said and we walked out. We all climbed inside Nialls car and started the car.
"Where to?" He asked as he pulled out of the driveway. "The beach." I said. Niall nodded his head and we drove there. It only took us 20 minutes. There was a few people there not too many. We got out and walked around a bit. As we walked Niall spoke up.
"What did you wanna talk about?" Niall asked. I stopped and we sat down on one of the benches. I started getting nervous. I stood up in front of them and looked them in the eye.
"Im just gunna be straight up and say it. Look at me. You always see me smiling and being happy. Which I always am but at times im not. I have stories I rarely share. But its time for me to confess. My whole life since 4th grade Ive been bullied. Not physically but cyberbully. People said threats to me. A lomg time ago I think I was about 7 ot 9 years old my mom dated this guy name Marco, and I remember I would fall asleep in his room that he had with his computer and tv. No bed just his stuff, he slept with my mom in her room. One day I stayed up late and I was watching Spongebob but I fell asleep. While I was sleeping I felt really bad pain on the lower part of my body. I kept moving around cause it felt uncomfortable. I opened my eyes and I was facing the tv. Thats when I felt a finger inside of me. It hurt me like hell. I didnt know what was going on. Then I felt another finger try to make its way go in and thats when I closed my eyes and moved. He quickly took his fingers out and I slowly acted like I woke up and I looked at him and I remember him smiling at me and I got up and went to the living room and slept in there. I was never able to look at him the same way anymore. I've been cutting myself ever since 4th grade I never stopped, I've tried over dosing on pills plenty of times. In January I went the hospital. I was on a 2 day hold and then they sent me to a Mental Hospital. I was on medication. I was there for a week. I still cut myself till' this day, but theres some times where I can control it and other times I cant." I said quickly.
I looked at the boys and they were shocked. "Show me." Zayn said quietly. I got closer to the both of them and showed them my thigh. I showed them my wrist and Niall stood up. "Lets head home lil sis. Ignore everybody." He said. We stood up and walked into his car. We slowly got in and Niall drove off. We came to a red light and Niall hit the steering wheel really hard.
"Fuck!" He screamed. I got scared and back up further in my seat. "Its okay Niall." Zayn said quietly. "No its not fine Zayn! If only I searched harder for her this all would of had not of had happened!" He yelled at Zayn. "Stop!" I yelled. "Its my fault not yours!" I yelled back.
"Its not yours either its the people who hurt you." Zayn said. Zayn unbuckled his seat belt and got out the car. He went to Nialls side and opened the door. "Out." Zayn said. Niall got out and sat in the back seat with me. Zayn got in the front and drove us to the house.
"Were you in pain?" Niall asked me softly with tears streaming down his face. "It dosnt matter anymore, Im perfectly fine right now." I said smiling. We pulled up in the driveway and we got out. I opened the door and the boys were crying a bit. "Is it true?" Harry asked me sobbing.
At that point I couldnt hold the tears in anymore cause I felt loved and all the pain came to me. "Yes." i said and started crying. I turned around and Zayn had his arms out in front of me. I hugged him and let the tears roll down. "Its okay." Zayn said with his voice cracking.
I held Zayn hand and walked him upstairs. I locked the door to our room. "What are you doing?" Zayn asked me. I quickly took my shirt off and shorts. "Now you can see it all." I said crying. Zayn came closer and saw the cuts on my stomach, thighs, wrist, and my chest. He pulled me into a hug and whispered sweet things.
"I dont care if you cut, I dont care if you have scars. I'll always love you for you." Zayn said. "I love you too and theres one more part. I was anorexic." I said quietly. "Is that why your so tiny?" Zayn asked me. I nodded my head.
"Your perfect no matter what people say." Zayn whispered cupping my face and he kissed me. I kissed him back and I felt a tear roll down from Zayns eyes which also made a tear roll down my cheek.
That all actually happened to me. The whole confession.