Paid happiness

"You can buy everything for money!" he said. I knew he was right, but he couldn't buy me. He couldn't buy my love or my respect. I was one of the few that went against his opinion. I went against the flow.

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10. To be clear

Perrie came to my home and she was as always happy. 
"What about your life?" she asked, and threw herself on the couch. I put away the books and realized I needed to talk about what had happened. 
"Honestly?" 
She nodded and smiled at me. 
"My life is now perfect so it's my turn to help you." 
She sounded happy and I realized that she really had found her place in life. 
"I have one small problem." I replied, looking down at my hands. "I messed it up a little!" 
She sat up and looked at me. 
"Okay?"
I felt that the words sat deep. I wasn't sure. 
"Niall was here a few weekends ago and I won a bet." 
She swallowed and nodded. 
"Okay?" 
I looked quickly at her. 
"He was Niall and he was himself. And we happened, perhaps not accidentally, but we ended up on the couch and we like..." 
Perrie frowned. She sensed what was happening, but she wasn't sure. I took a deep breath. 
"I had sex with Niall and now I feel like the world's worst girl." 
She was about to choke. 
"Are you serious?"
I swallowed. 
"Yes and it was wonderful! He left my apartment before I woke up and since then we haven't exactly been friends." 
I saw that she had to collect herself. She just stared at me and she was anything but aware that I saw her surprise. 
"So you mean Niall managed to seduce you? We have all said that you are the perfect couple, but we couldn't dream of ... Sex?" 
I nodded and then I was startled to. 
"What do you mean: we?"
Perrie blushed slightly. 
"Yes, we, Louis, Harry and company have talked about that you're the only girl that knows how to deal with Niall." 
I almost fainted. 
"I know how to deal with Niall?" 
She nodded and blushed. 
"Of all the girls around him, you are the only one that seems right for him. He listens to you and he does what you say, or he does almost what you say." 
I assumed she was serious, but I wasn't sure. 
"Niall's my friend, he was my friend." 
She giggled lightly. 
"But you always spoke the truth to him. We others just like to be around him but you went against the tide and you were honest with him."
I knew she was right. 
"I just wanted his own good." 
She smiled at me. 
"So talk to him?" 
I shook my head quickly. 
"He will never change and he's the same idiot that he ..." 
She interrupted me. 
"Niall hasn't been himself for a long time now and he hasn't jumped into bed with girls." 
I looked at her. 
"But I'm so scared." 
She agreed. 
"You should be afraid. I was scared when I called Zayn the first time and I was scared when he told me he loved me. But love makes us afraid."
I frowned. 
"But shouldn't love be something positive? Shouldn't you meet a guy and feel that you belong to and just feel it?" 
Perrie looked at me with one of those with meaning. 
"People are afraid. One should be afraid, but it will pass. Niall's afraid and you're terrified."
I didn't like the truth. 
"I don't trust him." 
Perrie laughed. 
"I don't trust Zayn, but I get to know him more and more. I realize that I have nothing to be afraid of. Niall may not be the perfect guy, but he needs you."

 

I sat on the couch, watching a love movie. I realized it was the same movie that Niall and I had looked at. I reacted like Niall, though I was on the girl's side. Why trust a guy who still wouldn't come back? The reality wasn't like in the movies and the guy didn't fight to win her heart.

 

I spent my days at school again. I read, I learned new things and I struggled to be a good lawyer. The teachers were happy with me and one day came Jon Smith approached me. 
"You're a good student." he said. "If you want I can put a little extra in your map that day when you apply for jobs. I have contacts and I can help you to become something more." 
I was proud of myself. 
"Thank you!"

 

It was approaching finals and the week before my closing, I felt like a big woman. I saw before me the wonders that I would do and I saw all the poor people I would save. Elenor came over to my apartment and helped me with clothes. 
"You will become something more." she said, and was proud of me. "Talk about that you really came to that place that you would." 
I laughed. 
"It's been tough, but I'm actually proud of myself."
She sewed my conclusion dress. 
"So who's comes to your sermoni?" 
I sat down. 
"I have just mom but she's too ill to attend." 
Eleanor looked up at me and she got a cozy look. 
"I promise we will. I'll tell Louis that it's a great day." 
I was grateful to her. 
"Thank you!"

 

Anyone who would go out of the school had to go up in the front. I saw Eleanor and some famous faces in the audience. I was grateful that she was my friend and I was proud of myself. Right as it was I saw also Nialls face. He sat at the back, he sat alone and he just looked at me. I swallowed.

 

The headmaster gave a speech and he mentioned that we were the future of flame holder. I could barely listen. Niall sat there and I saw how he looked at me. I wanted to scream right out and I wanted to tell him that life didn't turn out as I had imagined. I still loved him deep down, but the chances were minimal that it would be the two of us.

 

Everyone gathered in the yard and Louis gave me a long hug. 
"I and Eleanor going to dating." he whispered in my ear. I smiled and looked into his eyes. 
"Congratulations!" 
Louis blushed and then looked at me. 
"Congratulations to you, you made ​​it." 
I hugged Eleanor, Perrie, Harry, Liam and finally Niall stood there. I blinked and I chose not to look at him. 
"Come on!" Eleanor whispered to me. "You have to talk to him sometime?"

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