I am lonely very lonely. I lost my dad, older sister and younger brother in a car crash a month ago so its just my mum and I left now. Since the accident I have hardly left my room, I don't eat and i haven't even showered properly in a whole month.
My mum is trying her best to stay strong for me and she is doing anything and everything she can to make me eat and to make me leave my room but nothing is working, I just feel depressed all the time. My friends came over last week but they just awkwardly sat at the end of my bed not knowing what to say to me, so that just made me feel worse.
Twitter and youtube has took over my life, its all I have done in the past month. I mainly watch videos on makeup and hair even though none of them make me any happier in the slightest. I also have started listening to a lot of depressing music which really isn't helping my depression in the slightest.
"Lauren I am off to work soon! Please try and eat something whilst I am gone" my mum said to me whilst walking into my room
"Sure" I mumbled
Everytime she tells me to eat something I just reply with the same thing but never do eat.
"Lauren?!" My mum raised an eyebrow at me
"Mum I am not hungry, if I get hungry I promise I will eat something!" I said being completely honest.
"Lauren listen to me! I know this isn't easy but you need to move on and try to forget about your past, if I had the choice I would much rather sit in bed as well but I cant I need to go and work. If you dont start eating and acting like yourself by the end of this week I am calling a doctor and a therapist! Please Lauren for me just eat something and walk about" my mum said
"Your right mum! I'm sorry" I said on the edge of crying.
"Its okay hunny, I just want you to be happy and I bet your dad, sister and brother are looking down on you wanting you to be happy too"
Shes right I need to get my lazy ass out of my bed and stop lazing around all day feeling sorry for myself!
I want my family to look down on me and be proud not disappointed that I done nothing productive!
"Anyway I need to leave for work or I will be late!" My mum said pulling me into a hug
"Okay, bye! Enjoy work" I said
She waved and left my bedroom.
The minute my mum left I rolled out of bed and ran a warm shower, I was in there for about 30 minutes just washing myself over and over again, then I brushed my teeth serval times.
I then walked over to my wardrobe to choose something to wear and finally I done my makeup and hair taking tips from the endless amount of videos I have watched the past month.
I remember watching a you-tuber who was talking about her monthly favourites and one directions new album was one of them. Obviously I know who one direction are i haven't been living under a rock my whole life but I have only heard a couple of there songs that are on the radio and they seem pretty good.
So with that thought in my head I typed up 'one direction songs' on youtube and clicked on the first result.
I think I could consider myself a fan of one direction now......
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