8. Everything will be okay
A week had passed since Woojin had been there. Minjung slowly calmed down after a few days. Now they were lying on the bed watching a movie, “Hyung~ I love you.” she looked at him with a smile. “I love you too Jungie-ah. So much.” She stretched up to kiss him and he pulled her in to deepen it. They stayed like that for a while, until they had to pull away for air. Minjung had thought about taking it further than this, and she had mentioned it for Kwangmin who looked at her serious and told her not to rush things. He would wait for her. He wanted her to be comfortable and not afraid. He still woke up in the middle of the night to find her crying alone in a corner.
Every time he would hug her and tell her that everything would be okay, and let her cry until she couldn’t anymore. And they would fall asleep, curled up around each other. He knew it would take a long time for her to heal all the things she had gone through. And he would make sure she got all the time she needed. He knew she was afraid to lose him if she didn’t do anything. He would surely grow tired of her eventually. But he was sure he never would. He loved her more than anything.
“Hyung. I want to go out today.” he looked at her and nodded. “Alright, I will take you.” she smiled and hugged him.
She went out to take a shower and get dressed. As she was in the shower she thought about it. Going outside. What if she met Woojin? But she had Kwangmin with her, and he surely wouldn’t let anything happen to her would he? Or would he? She still had that fear deep down in her stomach. That nobody actually wanted her, that Kwangmin was just with her out of pity. What if Woojin was right? And like a switch had been turned on, all her old fears came back and hit her. She craved that feeling. The feeling of her skin being torn, the adrenaline pumping through her body, the feeling of control. She searched desperately for something sharp, anything. Until she found a razor, furthest back in a drawer, and she cut. And for every millimeter she cut, every drop of blood that fell, she felt that sweet feeling of pain. A pain she could control.
She heard a loud knock on the door “Jungie-ah, are you okay?” she panicked once again realising what she had done. She quickly covered up the scars with a band aid, and a long sleeved shirt. She opened the door and put on a smile “Ah. I am okay hyung.” He looked at her with a serious look. “Are you sure?” “Ah. Y-yes hyung...” He decided to believe her. He walked away out to the kitchen to get some coffee. She sighed relived. She had to be more careful with this, else he would notice. And she didn’t want him to worry about her again. She could control it she thought.
She walked out into the kitchen to find Kwangmin staring at her. “Yah, Jungie-ah. There’s something you’re not telling me.” How does he know these things? She tucked at her shirt sleeve unconsciously and looked down. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her shirt sleeve up and noticed the band aid, he quickly unwrapped it and saw the fresh cuts on her wrist. She started sobbing. “I’m sorry hyung. I’m sorry. I’m such a failure. I thought I could go outside. But I’m still afraid.” she paused for moment and whispered “I’m so afraid all the time.” He pulled her in to a hug, not knowing what to do or say. He just held her tightly and she appreciated him not saying anything about it. She felt so ashamed. After some time he released her and his hand slightly brushed her cheek, and cupped her face “Tell me these things Jungie. Promise you won’t do it again.” She promised. And she wished that she could keep the promise. She really wanted to stop all this. She wanted to stop hurting Kwangmin with her stupidness.