To be forgotten

You can take away my family, you can take away all my stuff and you can take away my hope. I've still given up and I want to just fall away in oblivion.


14. Back....

My aunt received me with open arms. I chose not to bring my wheelchair and Niall promised to keep an eye on me. For the first time in two years, I saw my cousin Tim and he was anything but shy. He threw himself into my arms, and he wouldn't let me go. I laughed and I was accepted. It was as if nothing had happened and two years of my life faded away. 
"It's wonderful to see you." said my aunt, and she smiled at me. "I missed you so much and my door is always open."
I don't know how many memories we went through and it felt good to talk about my parents. We went through all the memories we had and Niall just enjoyed listening to us. He laughed with us, and he found out what my life had once been.


"It's a shame that they got such an end?" got my aunt out. "I wish it had never happened, but I know that everything has a meaning." 
I didn't agree with her, but I chose not to say anything. I saw at her she tried and she fought to keep the tears back. 
"Good news," I got up and changed the subject. "Niall's my boyfriend." 
She was startled, but she lit up and just stared at us. Niall blushed slightly and cleared his throat. 
"Yes, we're a couple now." 
She cheered and hugged me. 
"Congratulations, honey." she got out and then she then looked at Niall. "Promise to take care of her. She's precious and she's so fragile." 
I blushed. 
"You're exaggerating?"
She shook her head and she looked straight at me. 
"No, you are precious and I know you had it hard sometimes, but I know that you are a strong survivor." 
I looked at her and I swallowed. 
"Is that what you think of me?" 
She nodded. 
"I know you ended up wrong after the funeral, but that's entirely my fault. I would have hugged you more often and I would have talked to you. Problem was that I was also scared. I was afraid you would see how weak I was."


I was quiet when Niall started the car. I had many thoughts rushed through my mind and I felt full of questions. It was as if everyone else had seen another Sandra and I had seen a sissy one. 
"Niall!" I whispered, therefore, and looked on him. "What was your first thought when you saw me?" 
Niall laughed a little bit and he rolled out the car on the street. 
"When I saw you, I saw a battered girl. I saw an empty body but I knew there was life in you. When you answered my smile with small gestures, I knew you were a survivor."
I frowned. I had more questions. 
"Is that why you wanted to sing for me?" 
Niall nodded and headed out the car from the area. 
"You can make miracles with music and I knew I could get through to you. Fault was that I chose Elvis." 
I laughed a little bit at the memory. 
"Yes, but at the same time it didn't matter." 
He gave me a quick glance. 
"Honey, I knew you still had strength and see where it took you. Nowadays, you are strong!" 
I shook my head. 
"No, I'm not strong. I'm just alive and I'm happy with that." 
He laughed. 
"I thought you loved me too?"
I grinning. 
"Okay, I love you but I'm alive." 
He didn't seem pleased. He laughed a little bit. 
"Just love?" 
I grinning. 
"Okay, I adore you and you are god to me." 
He was pleased. 
"It sounded more like me."


I fell asleep before we got home. I rocked into sleep and Niall had to lift me into the bed. That night I dreamed no nightmares and I were in harmony with myself. My life began to make sense and I began to understand that I could handle myself. I still lacked my parents, but there was more to live for than just sadness.


When I woke in the morning I heard that Niall was in the kitchen. I remained under the covers and just enjoyed the sounds. It felt wonderful to find myself in a home and I felt normal. I saw that he really cared about his home and he seemed to have planned everything in detail. Niall had hung a painting on one wall. It represented the sea and a sandy beach. I examined it carefully, and actually I liked the painting. I remembered all the dreams I had, and many of them were about the sea. The plane crashed into the water and everything just exploded. All my dreams had the same action, but in different places.


Niall came in to me with a tray. I saw that he had put too much food on the plate, but he smiled reassuring to me. 
"I couldn't fit with everything on the tray and I want to eat breakfast with you. Consequently, I put everything on one plate." 
I laughed. 
"You're smart?" 
He nodded with satisfaction and made ​​sure he sat down next to me. I sat up and he put the tray down on our knees. He gave me a fork and smiled at me. 
"It's just to eat, but I'm hungry so hurry up."


After we had eaten, I chose to take a shower. I washed myself thoroughly and ended up in front of the mirror. I saw on my face that I looked healthier. I got been a little more fat in the body and I looked more normal. I began to realize that I was happy with myself. Even my hair looked different. When I had been most ill I had had thinner hair and it had just hung straight down. Now, had my hair became thicker and I had a sheen to it. Actually, I was pretty happy about the change. I looked down at my stomach and actually it looked good. My last bony body was gone and I noticed a big change.


"You're beautiful!" 
I balked. Niall stood in the doorway and he looked at me closely. I smiled at him. I wasn't ashamed that I stood naked in front of him. He had seen it all and he knew how I looked. 
"Thank you!" 
Niall smiled and came in to me. He took my face between his hands and he kissed me softly. 
"What do you want to do today?" 
I smiled and enjoyed his love. 
"Being outdoors I have been indoors for two years and I want to feel the wind in my hair." 
He nodded with satisfaction. 
"Okay, you decide."


I had to sit in the wheelchair, but still, I felt free. Niall took me to a park and he showed me around among a bunch of houses. We wandered the streets up and down. We talked about the future, about what had happened and he told me about his life. It felt so natural to be with Niall and it felt like we had been together for ages.


In the evening, I was sad. I knew I was going back to the hospital and I knew I would be in between the boring walls. 
"You will be free soon." Niall whispered in my ear. "And then you move in with me if you want." 
I smiled and looked at him. 
"Are you serious?" 
Niall nodded. 
"I'm tired of being alone and I want company. You are the only one I want here." 
I smiled wide and laughed a little bit. 
"You're addicted to me?" 
He nodded and ran his hand through my hair. 
"Yes, I'm addicted to you. You're the only one I'm missing and you're the only one I need."


I cried in the morning. I didn't want to go back and I wanted to stay in the house. Yet we both knew, that I had. I wasn't fully restored in the body yet. Niall gave me a wonderful breakfast, he kissed me and he held my body. 
"Honey, I promise to stay in the hospital with you." 
I nodded and wiped away tears. 
"Thank you." 
He smiled and he looked into my eyes. 
"When you are fully restored, we will just do fun things together." 
I nodded and smiled at him. He kissed me and I knew he would keep it as he promised.

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