To be forgotten

You can take away my family, you can take away all my stuff and you can take away my hope. I've still given up and I want to just fall away in oblivion.


3. A new day?

"Rise and shine!" 
I swallowed and felt my whole body ached. I saw her come into the room and she did what she always did. I saw her usual round through my room and then she fetched the breakfast. She put the tray on my table and disappeared. I sat up and saw that I had received all as I would. This day was also a banana on the tray. I sighed and decided to just take the glass. I drank it all up and put it back. I looked a long time at the banana and wondered if I would eat it. It was tempting but at the same time not.

"It's healthy with banana" 
I was startled and looked toward the door. I recognized the voice and knew immediately that it was the new guy. I was amazed by his blue eyes and I saw that he had bleached hair. He came into my room and smiled uncertainly at me. 
"If you don't want the banana, I might get it?" 
I chose to nod weakly. He smiled with satisfaction and went up to the plate. I saw how he took up the banana and began to peel it. I regretted that he had received it, but now it was too late. 
"Everyone should enjoy bananas." he continued, smiling at me. He had such a smile that was contagious, but I chose not to answer the smile. Instead, I watched as he slowly ate my banana and I saw that he enjoyed every bite of it. There were watered in my mouth and I had to look down at the floor. I realized that I really regretted it. 
"It's so good!" he exclaimed with emphasizing tone. "So a banana beats everything else. Unless we start talking about apples. They are also incredible good." 
I frowned. He came into my room to talk about fruit?
"I also love pears." he went on and I heard that he had eaten up my entire banana. "Grapes are also phenomenally good." 
I sighed and looked up at him. He put the banana peel on the tray and looked at me again. I saw that he was pleased and I saw that his eyes shone. 
"So what will you do today?" he asked and sat down on the chair. "The sun is shining and I'm taking down some to the sea. Would you want to join you?" 
I didn't answer, I just crawled up on the bed and laid me down. He seemed not to care, and continued. 
"My name is Niall, just in case you were wondering. I'll be working here this summer and you wont get rid of me. They told me that you were hopeless and I just thought that frogs with no legs was hopeless."
He had humor and I was close on smiling. I looked at him again and he just seemed to be in good spirits. How-dried he? He should be tired of all our walls and on all hopeless cases. He should understand that he couldn't do anything for me. I just wanted to lie still in bed and I didn't want to hear him talk about fruits. 
"I understand that you don't want to go with us." he went and stood up. "It's perhaps bored with the sea, but who cares?"


When Niall had gone I smiled a little bit. It was wittily said about the frogs that they was hopeless. I still chose to take over the blanket over my body and once again I peeked up at the ceiling. There were no flies there, but I knew they would find my lamp soon.


The psychologist came in and he sat down on the chair. He smiled and he took out a piece of paper. 
"I got a letter from your aunt. She writes that they will go to Italy this summer and maybe even go to Spain. She thinks it's a shame you can't follow." 
I swallowed and looked down at the floor. My aunt seemed to love to send letters to me. Although it became less frequent, still came letter with boring text written on a paper. I wondered why she didn't use their computer and just wrote out what she wanted to say. It felt so weird that she sent handwritten letters, which she still knew that I wasn't reading.
"It says that your cousin is now two years." 
I balked. So it was two years since the accident. I hadn't had an eye on the time, but I knew that Tim was born just before my parents died. We were at my aunt a week before the aircraft would take off and I had been in a good mood. I still remembered how my mom laughed and my dad were talking about that I also would have children one day.
"They write that she's pregnant again and she hopes that it will be a girl."


On the way home from my aunt had mom and dad sang old songs. I had kept my hands over my ears and just laughed. 
"Can 't you learn new music?" 
Dad had just smiled at me and shook his head. 
"What's wrong with Beatles or Elvis?" 
I had just laughed and took my headphones to my ears, I played modern music and I chose those ones that made ​​me feel good. The sun had been shining and I had enjoyed the ride home. I still remember the smell of my dad's aftershave which interfered with mom's perfume. They had talked about the trip, about what we would do when they came home again. 
"It's a shame that you have to make the final exam." Dad had said. "Your school is strict and refused to drop you off."
"They can't do it without me!" 
Mom agreed and smiled at me. 
"You've always been good at school and I promise that you will become something great one day."


I had so many plans. I had so many dreams. I had so many things going on and now it was all gone. It was as if my whole life had flowed through me and leaving only an empty shell. I felt nothing, I did nothing and I could do nothing. 
"She writes that they might visit you in the fall?" 
I looked at him and sighed. I realized that he hadn't left me yet and he seemed not to care that I sighed. He was an older man. I just knew that he was called something with "S" or "L". I wasn't very good at names. He had gray hairs on his head and he had deep lines on the face. I wondered how old he was. Sixty? Maybe he just looked old? My parents had been closer to forty years old when they died. My mom had been in my age when I was born.


I was surprised when Niall came back to my room. He brought with him some shells and he showed them to me. 
"Look what I found!" he said happily. "I picked them to you, because you would see how wonderful it is on the waterfront." 
He put them on my desk and sat down on the chair. 
"You missed a crab. It had come up on the beach and we had to help it out again." 
I yawned and couldn't bother. I chose to look at him and noticed that he was in my age. Niall looked good and I was sure he knew about it. He had one of those spoken faces and I liked that he smiled a lot. His eyes sparkled when he talked about something he liked. I knew he loved fruit and the sea. I wondered if he was one that loved it all in the world, but I doubted that idea.


When evening came, appeared Niall with the last tile of the day. I knew what was on it and I knew I couldn't manage to get it in me. I was surprised when he held up a banana. 
"I stole yours." he said, and laid it on my bed. "I bought a banana for you, a thank you for this morning." 
I was surprised and looked at him. He smiled and he stood in the middle of the floor. 
"You can eat it if you want, or you can save it?"
He went out and I saw him vanish away. I let my eyes drift back to the banana and I smiled weakly. He still remembered that he took mine in the morning? I actually chose to eat it up. It took time and I was about to choke on. Still, I managed to get it in and I put the shell on the tray.

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