7. chapter 7
It was a dream.
Today I wake up in a hospital bed.
What the hell happened. No one wants to tell me anything.
I'm in a hospital. My throat hurts it's dry.
I look down. I have a breathing tube in my mouth going into my lungs. I can't breathe on my own.
I start to panic. There's IV in my arm. I here the heart monitor and different machines with scales keeping me from dying.
I know the plug to all of this Source is behind this hospital bed. I can unplug it and end all the pain.
I turn to my side my mom she's there sleeping. She's waiting for me to wake up.
I'm such a horrible son! I'm making her suffer! There's dry tear marks on her face. She's feeling pain! That I have caused her. I look at my arms. My bracelets are gone. My flesh with broken skin is exposed. They know.
I'm scared to say I've become the monsters and demons in my head. I'm gone.
Mom....but I can't talk I have a raspy voice this tube is interrupting me and my chest goes up and down but it's not me.
I'm just a soul in a shell that I'm trying to escape.
I'm in a hospital,my mother is sitting in a chair sleeping with dry tears down her face the pain reflects in her. I'm alone I'm dead but they still choose to keep me alive.
I feel pathetic
They want me alive. I want to die. These cuts I regret! I look horrible. My brother Harry! I need to get out of here for him.
What have I done? I messed up everything.
I stare at the monitor my Heart beat is slow. I wish it would stop forever so I don't have to live in this horrible world and my demons can leave me alone.
Why don't I listen to people, why don't I just leave already?
-4/2/10 Ashton Irwin