Writing To My Own Death (Ashton Irwin)

A boy named ashton Irwin struggles with normal life issues and goes through depression. He can't handle the worlds problems. *May Be Triggering* please read at your risk.


6. Chapter 6

I can't do this anymore!

I'm losing it. I'm at my breaking point! Ugh I need more! I'm becoming numb to the pain I cause myself. I need more...

The fires waiting for me.

Knows I'm gullible, knows I'm willing and weak enough to do it. I'm begging for this darkness to end.


It's 3 am. Alone. Darkness fills my bedroom. My ceiling caving in on me the walls falling. Tree vines crawling up my bed tying me down. I'm stuck I'm trapped.

The voices are getting louder! I'm scared of myself. There coming for me I hear them. I'm going crazy. I try to escape these demons holding me down but I can't! I'm weak.

Help me please. Please just give me hand. Help me find my way back home to be safe and sound.

My thumb slides the circle down gas comes out and flames.

Against my knee I feel the burning sensation. It's a new feeling of pain on a new level I feel better. I'm not numb I feel it. It hurts me. But it's what I deserve.

Alice walked up to me after school and talked to me. Hey Ashton I'm really sorry about the other day, the girls were there and I had to impress I'm sor- yeah I get it you wanted to feel better about your self and you wanted to impress them by putting a loser down yeah I get it Alice now leave. Ashton I chose to talk to you and pretend to listen to your sorry stories why don't you just wake up and realise how pathetic and stupid you sound. Sorry I stopped feeling pitty for you. Bye Ashton.

She walked away....

Worst feeling again. my flesh is being disintegrated I should stop. Still sobbing I bite into a towel it's to much. But the words haunt me

Pretend to listen to your sorry stories

Pretend to listen to your sorry stories

Pretend to listen to your sorry stories

I can't I grab a knife....

No Ashton don't. Put the knife down. Don't do it.i scream. Throwing the knife across the room with the lighter. I pull my pants back up feeling the fabric rub against the burning flesh on my knee.

I'm afraid....

Afraid to become the monsters that are in my head.

The monsters are winning. These demons are taking over me because I'm just a pathetic stupid guy with problems. I hate school I hate life. I hate hurting people around me.

The tree vines begin to unravel them selfs from my body i am free.

The darkness goes back to the regular light blue shad of my room walls. My ceiling is white again.

I am safe.

Why don't I listen to people, why don't I just leave already?

-4/2/10 Ashton Irwin

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