Writing To My Own Death (Ashton Irwin)

A boy named ashton Irwin struggles with normal life issues and goes through depression. He can't handle the worlds problems. *May Be Triggering* please read at your risk.


16. Chapter 15


is how i feel. I'm annoyed and i can't take this anymore!I can't live with myself. This life is boring me.First I don't even go to school no more, i'm a drop out. I have no friends but Michael. I'm a total loner. 
Something that i was afraid about happened.
Harry is distant from me. It's like he's afriad of me. My family is betraying me slowly. It's sad. 
Will they miss me?
Will they care?
will they remember me?
will they cry when they see the ripped flesh and rope around my neck with a note beneath my feet? will they? These questions will never be answered for me, i will never know what happened.

Today the group of girls along with Michael came to my house to hang.... so i guess im not that kind of a loner after all. Makenna is really funny. I think i actually laughed for once. I never feel happiness and i still did'nt feel it today when Alexis held my hand for the first time. Emily is cool she's pretty funny and talks alot but in a good way. Her life seems fun and full of joy, maybe one day mine will be like that. Kimberly is awesome and chill but really quite but with the people she's comfortable with she'll talk alot. I have a feeling somethings wrong with her but im not sure and i guess i won't assume.
Then there is Michael. My awesome mate who is really cool and chill. He's always there for me and i'm glad.
The reason i'm feeling "aaahh" is beacuse i brought my box out and started to play some beats outside for them since they wanted to hear me drum, my drum set still won't come for another month. Well i started to play and Alexis stared at my arms which were making me nervous. There was just so much dissapointment in her eyes.

i just don't understand the things i do to myself anymore.

Why don't I listen to people,why don't I just leave already?

5/28/10 Ashton Irwin

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