What's On the other side?
Why do I care and cherish the other side so much. I want to go so bad I urge to go. My demons are back with a few fallen friends.
Stronger than ever. The brought a coffin with them. The main monster stairs at me with hunger. He has the rope.
It's time to go.
But will I? It's very tempting. But why? Why? Why should I go. What if it's just like earth a living hell. What if it's not what I imagined.
I laugh at my own thoughts. "What if's" geezs I'm funny. I honestly don't care how it is. I just want to leave here as soon as possible.
It's not like anyone's going to notice I'm gone.
I take my pocket knife out. I look at my wrists. The lines, there popping out now. Showing all my mistakes and fails. White and curvy. Why do I keep doing it? At the end I just hate myself more. I disgust myself. But I can't control it.
I lay in bed just thinking of possible ways to end my trip. When my phone buzzes.
Hey dude... You want to talk?
Yeah! After we talk about yours...
What are you talking about???
You know exactly what I'm talking about michael. Your cuts. Why? Why do you do it for? Answer that and then we can talk.
I'm sorry mate but I'm not going to. You won't understand.
I put my phone down. Why does everyone have to be so ugh! Great there back. My hand moves quickly to my stomach. No be strong Ashton. You can beat them. You are strong. You are better.
'Fat' 'worthless' 'ugly'
Now in graved Into my skin. Weak Ashton weak. He repeats into my ear. It's cold in here. My room pitch black. This dark shadowland that I have created. She's here. She is beautiful. I miss her. I get up from my bed and walk to her. She doesn't see me. "Sophie!" She doesn't here me.
NO NO NO
He's doing this on purpose. He wants me to be with her. I can't I have Harry to think about. She's not here she's not suffering in this shadowland. She's in heaven. She was just a broken angel...
I'll always miss my Sophia.
5/26/10 Ashton Irwin
(Sorry it was short)