Writing To My Own Death (Ashton Irwin)

A boy named ashton Irwin struggles with normal life issues and goes through depression. He can't handle the worlds problems. *May Be Triggering* please read at your risk.


10. Chapter 10

My thoughts love me.

They haunt me.

My demons stay with me everywhere I go.

My monsters are in demand of my soul.

I am weak. I'm too pure an fragile to survive in this oblivion of a world.

I'm tired I guess you can say.

It's not fair why do I have to keep on fighting for something I can care less about.

Why do people have to make my life decisions for me?

It's simple. I don't want to live. Every one says there's hope at the end. But really I have reached my ending point and there is no hope what so ever. Liars.

I just want to live a life of happiness. But really, is happiness a real feeling does it even exist.

I guess the only thing I had close to happiness was a glimpse in the beautiful girl.

I shouldn't rely my happiness on people it won't last I'll only be hurt and crushed.

People find love and have a family and every one has love for each other. I'm so lost I won't find love. How can I love other people when I can't even love myself or even life!

Ugh I'm so pathetic.

My mom stopped coming. I thought your mother was the only person that was impossible to stop loving a son or daughter. A lie once again. My mother doesn't love me. She no longer cares for me. My heart cracks into billions of fragile pieces, my throat starts to close. A river starts to form down my face.

I'm hurt. I'm broken. Help me please...

There's no where to turn there's no one to go too. Please heart fail me now.

I look at the stitches I didn't know before on my left wrist. Depression

The doors shut. The blinds are closed. The only small light comes from the monitors. But can't see nothing. The darkness swallows the room walls.

Blood starts to drip from the ceiling. My body tenses. No not now. The tree vines are back. There angry. They wrap around my neck. Tightly the grip and squeeze I'm suffocating. This is what they want. This is what my demons want what they need. Roses calm me down looking at them from the ceiling. Trying to catch my breath, the petals start to bleed they wrap around my arms, my stitches are being opened by the thorns. Blood is gushing out I feel it. Im trying! I'm trying to catch my breath I can't I'm light headed. My rivers cry louder. Blood running into the sheets to hide while I'm losing my mind. Lack of oxygen. The grip is tighter around my neck. I let go.....

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