We file into the room where the ceremony will take place. I take my seat with my family and the other Abnegation. Name after name is called. I watch people go up and define the rest of their lives and all it takes is a drop of blood and a bowl.
But my question is
Finally, I hear it.
My heart begins to race. I am next and I still haven't made a decision. I look at my parents. How can I leave them after Caleb has left them? But is Abnegation truly what I want? I don't want to be the good Abnegation girl my whole life. I don't want to be the "stiff" forever. But how can I leave my brother too? He trusted me enough to come to me last night. I may be brave, but I fear solitude.
A gasp goes through the Abnegation. My father looks shocked. Caleb has chosen Erudite as he said he would.
The voice calls
The small steps up to the bowl seem like the longest steps of my life. As I take each step, the words pound in my head
Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite
Erudite, Abnegation, Dauntless
Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation
Who am I? Where do I belong? how can I leave mom? How can I leave Caleb?
The truth is I can't. And if I choose Dauntless I will be leaving them both.
As I make the incision in my hand, my heart beats faster than ever. I can feel sweat building on the top of my forehead.
As I bring my hand up, I ask myself.
Mom or Caleb? Mom or Caleb? Mom or Caleb?
"Beatrice...we must think of our family...but we must also think of ourselves"
This isn't about them.
This is about me.
An Abnegation would not hesitate to put their parents first.
Then I shut my eyes as the blood drops into a bowl.
"Beatrice Prior. Erudite"