"Eliseeee, why are you so much prettier than me?!" A popular girl from school, Mikaylah Kaye, asked.
"Because you're fake and ugly as fuck." I said, completely serious.
I'm not nice. I hate people. Screw people and their people-y lives and shit. Screw them all.
Except whoever invented food, sleep, and music. We can all party, okay? Okay.
Mikaylah wasn't too happy to hear that. Not at all. Oh, cry me a river; the bitchy blonde isn't happy. Screw her and her problems. And her bleached hair, stuffed bra, and potato-baked tan skin. All of it can burn. Burn in an evil, clown filled hole.
I walked away from Mikaylah and her makeup-caked clown posse, making my way home.
As I walked, everyone stared at me; strangers, friends, enemies, nerds, jocks, athletes, scene kids, 'emo' kids, and Phil the Hotdog Stand Guy.
Phil is badass. He gives me three hotdogs for half price. Phil knows how much I eat.
I could eat a whole pig, raw, alive, bones and all.
Not eating bones is for sissies.
Elise Andilynn Veronica Rosalita Rosemary Ashley Ainsley Ramona Raleigh Karleigh Jayden Jayme Keegan Hayden Star Estrella Julie Kelsey McKenna M'Lynn Marisa Anette Jaquanequah Lahfawnduh Janeesha Mariah Sassy Watermelon Pants Ronaldo Ricardo Vasques de La Noveches the 12th is no sissy.
No, man I'm kidding. That name would be long as fuck. My name is Elise Kian DeVasa.
Aka Elise the Devastator.
Because apparently DeVasa sounds like Devastator to everyone I know.
But, bitches be crazy so who cares?
Not me, cause...
IM MAKIN MY WAY DOWNTOWN TO YOUR WINDOW
STAYIN UP LATE ON THE PHONE TALKIN REAL LOW
WATCHIN OLD MOVIES AND THINKIN I SHOULD BE WITH YOU
BOY THATS WHAT IM GONNA DO.
No. What the Fiddly-diddly-ding-dang am I doing?
I am Elise, not Troy Bolton. This is not Highschool Musical 1, 2, or 3, you fool!
"So, what did you do today?" Were the first words out of my mothers giant face hole when I walked into the living room.
"WHATEVER I FELT LIKE DOING, GOSH! YOU PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND ME!" I yelled dramatically, throwing my things down and running up into my room, then proceeding to slam my door shut.
I fake cried for a minute, then realized that I needed the things I threw on the ground.
Awkwardly, I walked back down to the living room and picked up my things, not making eye contact with anyone.
Keeping a straight face, I made my way to the dining room to grab a Poptart.
As soon as I opened my mouth to inhale the sickly sweetness of an Cookies and Cream Poptart, I broke out in a fit of giggles, causing myself to choke on the poptart.
Now, laying on the floor, laughing, coughing, and on the verge of death, I looked like a penguin having a mini seizure.
I'm being legit right bow.
I was waving my arms around in an extremely stupid manner, making loud gurgling sounds and coughing all at once.
This must be my mating call.
I proceeded to do this for five minutes before someone finally walked in to see what was going on.
Someone happened to be my little sister, Ariana.
"OH MY GOD ELISE IS DYING."
Continuing with what I was doing, I remained doing my odd mating call, hoping for an attractive male to come along and take me to my kingdom in hell.
Because regular fairy tales suck ass.
"DONT LET HER DIE! DO SOMETHING!" My mother ordered.
Slowly, they picked me up and forced me to regurgitate my Poptart and lunch from this afternoon.
Slowly, I grabbed my things and ran up to my room.
I laid my things calmly on the floor and proceeded to break down in a fit of giggles.
I then looked around my room, still giggling, then stopped when my sight landed on a poster.
A poster of a Princess that my sister obviously put in there.
It was Belle, from Beauty and the Beast.
I'm going to smack that little bag of glitter and bitchiness.
I picked up a piece of paper, folded it till it was thick and sharp, and threw it precisely at Belle's head.
It landed directly in the center of her forehead and I grinned.
That would leave another mark in my wall.
I despise princesses. No no no. Not despise; hate. I hate them. They're stupid. I want to burn them in the evil clown pit with Mikaylah and her posse.
"Elise, come here, someone is here to see you!" My dad yelled.
"YOU CANT MAKE ME! YOU DONT OWN ME! I AM MY OWN PERSON!"
I stopped and thought for a minute, then. Called again, changing my sentence.
"I TAKE IT BACK! I AM MY OWN LLAMACORN AND YOU CANT FORCE ME!"
I heard a loud sigh, before I was forcefully dragged down the stairs by my older brother, Carl.
No, I'm kiding. Carl is a stupid name.
My brothers name is Gabriel.
Once downstairs, Gabe deposited me onto the kitchen counter.
"This shit better be important or else someone owes me their French fries tonight." I stated to everyone in our kitchen, which currently only consisted of Dad, Gabe, and Ariana.
Momma must have been getting my 'guest'.
"KAMDEN MAH BITCH!"
It was Mikaylah.
"Ohh, hell nah. Bitch, the fuck you want?"
First chapter. Continue, or discontinue??? TELL ME. ;-;