Innately, there are qualities in human beings that are always repetitive. There are things like love and hate and jealousy that are just going to be there forever.


9. Chapter 9

Chapter song:

If The Moon Fell Down- Chase Coy & Colbie Cailat

-Britney's POV-


My thoughts are running wild as anxiety swims through my veins and pulses in and out of my heart .

"Hey, Brit?" My mom asks me with a crude tone. I can see the anger, sadness, and disappointment behind her calm mask.

I gulp back enough fear to speak.


"You know my friend Macy?" She questions me and the image of a light brown, scrawnie, sensitive, middle aged woman pops into my head. I nod slowly.

"She called me yesterday asking how you've been doing. I told her you're fine, and asked why. She told me she had just saw you." She pauses and raises her eyebrows at me. 

I know now that I have lost a good portion of her trust and respect for me, and I don't like the feeling. 

"What does this have to do with the party? Mom I'm sorry. I-" I'm interrupted as she continues. She's so calm about this. It's scaring me. 

"She said she saw you show up at her neighbors party, that there was alcohol and that the cops were called around midnight for  under aged drinking and multiple noise complaints. You know, she even said one of the kids drove home drunk and ran into a stop sign." I sit in awe. Macy called my mom and told her I was there. This is perfect.

My mom walks over to the coffee maker and pours herself a cup, casually.

"Mom, I'm sorry. My friends were going and I wanted to go have fun. I was only there for like, an hour-"

"I just don't understand." She sniffs and looks at her coffee.


"Britney I've done everything for you!" I stand from my chair, lost for words. "Yet, you go behind my back and lie to me so you can go to a party!" Her hands are in the air. I look at my feet to avoid eye contact.

"Mom, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think it through enough. I swear it won't happen again." I make this promise to her with the intention of keeping it. I never want to go to another party. It was a horrible experience.

"I'm not so mad that you went to the party. I can understand why you did. I always push you to go out and do something. It's just that you lied to me, Brit. You have no idea how happy it makes me that you're finally putting yourself out there and making new friends, and trying new things; like going to a party. I just don't want you to lie to me about it."

"If I had asked you than you would have said no."

"You don't know that. I probably would have said yes just this once, so that you would at least have the experience of going. I would have told you to be careful and probably given you a curfew, but I might have said yes."

"Yeah, you say that now to make a point, but you wouldn't have last night." I call her out with a sass filled tone. To add to my attitude, I cross my arms.

"Don't start with me Britney."

"Mom, all you do is baby me all the time!" My arms uncross and fly in the air dramatically.

"I do it to help you." My mother defends herself. She sets her coffee cup on the counter, takes a step closer to me, and crosses her arms like I did.

"I don't need your help!" I yell and lean forward, now angry.

"Just please, go to your room." She looks at the ground this time.


"Britney Maegan!" She yells as I stomp my feet upstairs.

I go to my room, lay on my back with a sigh, and begin counting the glow in the dark stars I have stuck to the top of my ceiling. I try not to let all of the memories of the accident slip into my mind, like it always does when I'm alone and left with only my thoughts.


About an hour later I find myself on my phone, talking to Paige. I tell her about how my mom knows I went to the party, and how I'm stuck in my room because I exploded on my mom.

"I feel horrible. I don't even know why I yelled at her. She's always so nice, maybe that's why. She really does treat me like a baby and it's annoying." I tell Paige on the phone. 

"Don't feel bad. Everyone has those moment where they hold things in and then explode. Your mom just happened to be there at the time." I sigh and think of those words. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm going to apologize to her though. Not now because we're both kind of angry still, but if I don't it will eat me away." I sit on the edge of my bed and play with the bottom of my shirt with my free hand. There's a silence for a while until she speaks.

"So, you're obviously stressed about something if you freaked the fuck out on your mom. Spill it." I stand up and walk over to my window.

"It's nothing." Zayn. Harry. Jordyn's birthday is coming up.

"Bull." Paige calls me out. I tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear and sigh again.

"Boy drama."

"Oooh, my favorite kind. Who's the guy?" Paige questions and I let out a small laugh.

"Zayn and Harry. I know it sounds stupid, and that I told you I hate Zayn, but there's just something about him. I hate him, but when I'm around him I can't help but feel happier around him. He annoys the hell out of me, yet I feel attracted to him. It's weird and I don't understand it. But then there's Harry who I have only had two conversations with, but somehow think I like him. He's always just so nice to me, and whenever Zayn is having one of his 'I hate the world so I'll take it out on everyone' moments, he sticks up for me. He's so sweet and funny and stuff. I don't know.. This is stupid. I can't like of either of them. I barely know them." At the end of my little drama rant, I pace my room and run my hand through my hair repeatedly.

"Well, Harry's a really good guy. He's there for anyone, so I can see why you like him."

"Think. I think I like him." I correct her and she chuckles before continuing.

"Zayn is the same way. He just hides it. You know how some guys are. They tend to think that if they show their nice side, that it will make him look weak." I smile a little and nod.

"Yeah. I just don't know about Zayn." I look down and play with the end of my hair.


"I just found out more about him. I know I should hate him and I feel like I do, but there's still that little part of me that feels empty when I think about never talking to him again because of it." I admit and sit on the end of my bed again.

"What did you find out?" She asks me curiously.

"Well, I was talking to Harry last night at the party and he told me that Zayn has slept with half of the town. I had a boyfriend when I lived in Casper, Wyoming that used me because he thought I would have sex with him and I remember the feeling when he left me because I wouldn't. It just made me not like Zayn even more." I explain.

"Harry's exaggerating. Zayn used to do that. He tries not to anymore. Since he became friends with Niall, Louis and Harry he has gained more respect for women." I let what Paige explained sink in and then answer her. My hatred for Zayn has gone down a little more now though.

"Hm." Is all I give for a reply.

"So, what are you doing today?" She asks me, trying to start up a new conversation I assume.

"I don't know. I'm locked in my room for now, bored as hell." I reply and lay backwards on my bed.

"Well, I would say we could hang out, but I'm about to head over to Louis'. I'm sorry." She tells me with emotion in her voice.

"No, it's okay. I think I'm just going to walk around town for a little bit. I could use some fresh air to clear my mind." I spill honestly. I mostly just want to think about Harry and Zayn. Harry has the looks of a bad boy, but his personality is the opposite. Zayn has the looks of a bad boy, and his personality is the same. Except for when he doesn't want to be. When Zayn's not being a jerk, he's really fun, out-going, nice, and hilarious.

Why am I thinking of this?

I don't like either of them. I've had full conversations with Harry twice. I've had a lot of conversations with Zayn, but he's always such a jerk. I don't like them.

"Hello?" Paige's voice rings through my cell.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I ask her running my free hand through my hair.

"I said, have fun with that, and if you see any cute guys on your afternoon stroll in wonderland to give me a call." She remarks and I laugh. 

"How would Louis feel about that?" I ask jokingly.

"I never said I'd date them.. I would just admire them from afar." I chuckle and shake my head.

I change into light blue shorts and put on a baby pink tank top. It's tight on top, but loose on the bottom. There's white lace over the pink on the top part of the tank top. It doesn't take me long to realize I'm not wearing my necklace, so I put it on and leave my house. I begin walking around. It's already 3:00. Once I'm out of the neighborhood I decide to head towards the gas station to buy some snacks. I'm still confused about my feelings for Harry and Zayn, and I feel a bit guilty for freaking out at my mom, but that's not really what's bothering me. 

I walk in silence. The gas station is about a 10 minute walk from my house, so it isn't a long one. When I get there I walk in and the cashier greets me. I greet her back and walk the isles until I find what I'm looking for. A peanut butter Twix and a diet Pepsi. Not because I'm on a special diet like the average teenage girl. I just think a diet Pepsi tastes better than a regular one. I grab them and pay for them, and when I walk back outside, I see a familiar black truck at the gas pump. Of coarse he's here.

I begin speed walking out of the parking lot in hopes that he won't see me. Once I make it away without getting caught, I pull my phone out to check the time again. It's only 3:23 so I slow my pace and relax. I don't want to go home, so I decide to walk to a park or something. When I pass the gas station again, the black truck pulls up next to me. I stomp my foot, slump my shoulders and grit my teeth.

"Of coarse you're here!" I raise my voice immediately and look at him through his rolled down window.

"Where, in the city I live in? Sorry I'll leave." He sarcastically jokes. I grunt and roll my eyes before attempting in leaving. But of coarse, he slowly drives next to me. At least he's in a good mood. The complete opposite of me right now.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"What's wrong?" He questions me and I stop walking.

"Why do you care?" I ask him harshly. "You're always such a jerk to me and you expect me to come crawling to you when I need someone to talk to? I don't know if you've noticed Zayn, but that's not how it works." I rant and he looks a little hurt.

"Do you need a ride?" He asks me. I'm surprised I didn't just make him mad. I don't see the 'Short-tempered-bad-ass' Zayn. I see the caring, funny, fun to be with one. Without saying anything, I open the passenger door, get in , and buckle my seat belt.

I see him smirk out of the corner of my eye and I huff a breath and cross my arms. Again.

He turns the truck around and begins driving to my house.

"No, I don't want to go home." I state and look at him with pleading eyes. I'm an emotional wreck at the moment. I'm mad at my mother, but I also feel bad for being mad at her. Does that make sense?

"How come?" He pulls over and looks at me confused.

"Because. Just take me somewhere else." I ask of him.

"Like where?" I can tell I'm worrying him and confusing him at the same time.

"I don't care. Just anywhere but home." He raises his eyebrows, but then pulls onto the street again.

For about 5 minutes we sit with just the radio playing quietly as I just lay my head on the window, watching houses pass by.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asks me again.

"Maybe later." I reply not looking at him again.

"Are you at least going to tell me if you're okay or something?" He adds and I sigh.

"Maybe later." I repeat and he chuckles.

"Alright then." He huffs a breath and continues driving. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. 

"Where are we going?" I ask quietly.

"To a place called Not Home." He jokes and for a small second I smile, but then it quickly fades.

After another 5 minutes of no conversation, we pull onto a dirt road. We follow the dirt road and as we get further down into a nest of trees, I spot a river. There's a sign that we pass that reads 'Two Moon Park'.

"When we moved here my mom told me about this place. She said it's really nice. Why are we here?" I ask him and lift my head from the window.

"I figured you didn't want to be around people." He states and I smile again. 

This is the side of Zayn I would like to see more, instead of the one that uses anything he can as ammo to shoot you with.

When we get to the bottom of the dirt road, there's a small place to park. He does so, and gets out. I follow along and jog to catch up with him. This place is like the woods, but smaller. I hear birds singing, bugs flying, but mostly the river moving along the banks.

"This place is so pretty." I state as I look around in awe.

"Yeah." Is all he replies with.

I don't know where to go, so I just follow him as we walk the paths. After a couple minutes of this, we stop when we get to a small opening in the path. There, there's a break in the trees so we are right next to a slow part in the river.

"If you expect me to swim in here you're wrong." I tell him raising my eyebrows.

"Hell no we aren't swimming." He agrees and I let out a small laugh. "Just come here." He adds and motions me over. He begins walking off of the path and through the trees.

"what are you doing?" I ask him with confusion evident in my voice.

"Just trust me." 

"Am I going to regret this?" I ask as I begin walking in the same direction he went.

"Maybe. Maybe not." 

"Great." I mutter under my breath. 

I follow him until we come to the edge of the ground. One more step and we would fall into the water. Zayn takes that step and I gasp until I realize that he is now standing on a tree that is growing sideways, so it's like a plank over the river. 

"Grab my hand." He holds his hand out for me to take, but I don't take it.

"No way. I am not going over-" He cuts me off.

"Britney, just trust me and take my damn hand." He demands and I take it hesitantly.

"Now just step down." He instructs. I look him in the eyes questioning him.

"Yes, it will hold us both." He answers. "Step down." He repeats.

I do as he says and inhale a deep breath as I try to keep my balance. Zayn is laughing at me.

"This is dangerous." I point out and he shakes his head.

"I know right. Like, if we fall our clothes will be wet. And we'll have to swim in this slow moving water that is so shallow we can touch the ground, to get to land again." Sarcasm is clear in his voice and I punch him in the arm causing us both to lose our balance. 

"Shit Britney, I never said I wanted that to actually happen!" He says laughing. I laugh along and grab a branch that is just below my head and let go of Zayns hand.

The lack of warmth from his hand makes mine cold immediately. Zayn begins walking along the tree, which goes higher and higher above the water. Still holding onto the branch, I follow. Zayn sits on the branch we were walking on so his feet dangle off. They are about 2 and 1/2 inches above the water. He looks at me expectantly and I cautiously begin lowering my body, so I can sit next to him. Once I am crouched low enough, I let go of the branch, and plop down next to him.

"It's later. Can you tell me now?" He asks me and I sigh for what seems like the hundredth time today

"There's too much to explain." I whine, but he doesn't take no for an answer.

"Ugh, fine." I give in almost immediately.

"My mom found out I went to the party last night and now we're fighting. Well, she didn't mind that I went to the party, just that I lied to her about it. She basically let me off the hook, but then I started back talking and being rude and stuff and now I feel bad for yelling at her but I'm also glad I did because I needed to tell her how I felt. Does that make sense?" I babble and look at him, cocking my head to the side a bit. He furrows his eyebrows then answers.

"Yeah, I think I get it." He answers me and I can't help but laugh a little.

"Now, what's actually bothering you?" He calls me out.

"What do you mean?" I try to lie so I don't have to tell him.

"I'm not stupid. You don't get this mad just because you're fighting with a parent." He's right.

"It's nothing." 

"I can tell." He sarcastically remarks.

"Okay, fine!" I give in again. "My friends birthday is coming up in like a week."

"That's it? You don't know what to get her or something?" He looks at me like I'm stupid.

"No, that's not the problem." I say rather harshly.

"Tell me." He demands again.

"Jordyn was my best friend. She died about two years ago. After if happened, I stopped going to school, talking to people, eating, and just shut the world out. I almost died with her and because of that, my mom lost a lot of money because of hospital bills, counseling and all that. About a year ago my mom was so sick of it she made me move to a different state with her in hopes that I would snap out of it. It didn't really work until I started going to school again this year. Rebecca and Paige started talking to me and making me feel better, She introduced me to you, Niall, Louis, and Harry. Now her birthday is coming up and I'm kind of afraid that once the day comes I'll shut down again." This is the first time I've ever told anyone about this. I'm not going to tell him what happened though. I'm never going to tell anyone about that.

All I hear is silence, so I speak again.

"I know that's a stupid reason to be so upset but-" He cuts me off right when he realizes what I was going to say.

"That's not a stupid reason to be upset. Fighting with a parent is a stupid reason to be upset." He remarks and I smile.

"What happened?" He asks me and I look down at the water.

"I don't want to talk about it." I tell him truthfully.

"You don't have to go into detail." He pushes and I look at him.

"If I told you, you would hate me." And it's the truth.

"Why would I hate you because of that?" He really wants to know. I can tell.

"Cause I hate myself because of it." I admit truthfully.

"Why?" He just keeps pushing.

"Zayn, please?" I beg looking him in the eye. He looks back and swallows before nodding.

"I don't think you'll shut the world out again." Zayn says and I look down at the river again.

"Why? I did for two years. I can see it happening again." I admit.

"Because you're strong." He says and I look at him and raise my eyebrows. "not many people can go through that kind of shit and not lose their mind." He says and I smile at him.

"I did lose my mind. Can't you tell?" I joke and we both laugh.

"You know, you're actually nice when you want to be." I tell him and we both smile again. He looks at the river.

"So are you." He replies and smirks at me.

"Hey!" I say and punch him in the shoulder. He loses his balance on the tree and grabs the branch.

"How many times are you going to try and push me in the river?" He asks me and I laugh again.

"Until you actually do." I joke and he gives me a small push on the shoulder. I gasp and grab his arm before I can lose my balance. His laugh fills my ears and I can't help but join.

"Okay, I'm done. I know this may come off as a shocker, but I don't want to fall in." I sarcastically remark.

My eyes find his and I relax. 

"Thanks." I tell him.

"For what?" He asks me. We don't break eye contact.

"Letting me talk to you." 

He smiles that smile that I realize I have come to like. Next thing I know, I'm looking at his lips, imagining what they would feel like on mine. He must catch on to what I'm thinking because he begins leaning in. I can't wait any longer, so I close the distance between us. And then,

We're kissing.


A/N- Hey guysss (: Sorry it took so long to update >.< I was going to update yesterday but the wifi was down up until this morning.. (Pure tortutre XD) I hope you like it! It's really long haha. The longest chapter in the book so far lol. So, comment if you ship Brarry or Bryn (pronounced 'Brin') and thank you to the fan who helped me finally think of a Zayn and Britney ship name!! I appreciate the comments I get. Again, I hope you like it, and thanks for reading! Don't forget to favorite, like, and comment! Luff yeww! Byye


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