He smiles that smile that I realize I have come to like. Next thing I know, I'm looking at his lips, imagining what they would feel like on mine. Admiring the piece of metal peircing his lip. He must catch on to what I'm thinking because he begins leaning in. My heart is beating faster and faster the closer we get. I can't wait any longer and my breathing hitches as I close the distance between us. And then,
My body ignites into a passionate flame, and Zayn slides a hand down my side to rest it on my hip. My right hand finds his hair, but my left one stays on the branch so I don't lose my balance. This is happening. I'm kissing Zayn. I forget about Jordyn's birthday, the tension between my mother and I, and everything else. All that I am focused on right now, is him. I focus on the way he bites my lip and the way his soft hair feels between my fingers. I focus on how his cold lip ring feels against my lips. It adds to the pleasure of the kiss. But then, I remember I'm me. And that I don't deserve any happiness after what I did. So I pull away, scrambling to my feet.
"I'm sorry I- I didn't mean to I-" he stands too. I'm scrambling around so fast I almost fall into the river.
"I'm sorry that shouldn't have happened-"
"I need to go home I-"
I stop and look him in the eyes for the first time since I kissed him. He places his hands on my hips.
"Calm down. It's alright." His eyes are a light, soft brown. And I know he isn't angry with me.
"I'm sorry. It was my fault, I should get going." I try to step around him, but he won't move.
Ours eyes meet again and I'm calm.
"I'll drive you home." I stop struggling and let my arms fall to my sides. He looks at me questioningly and I swallow and nod.
As we drive I think of the kiss. The way it felt, how it tasted. His lip ring added to the sensation, and I make myself stop thinking about it, because I don't deserve happy thoughts. I hate myself and so should everyone else.
"Thanks for today. I really needed someone to talk to and I really needed a break from home." I tell Zayn as he taps his fingers on the stereo to the beat of the music.
"Anytime, Brit." He says and sends me a smile before moving his eyes back to the road.
"What were you doing at the gas station anyway? You walked out without anything." He states and my mind is drown in confusion. And then realization. We pull into my driveway and he puts his car in park.
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot to grab my things! You distracted me and I forgot." I can't help but laugh at myself and Zayn is in hysterics.
"Oh wow, you are really something special, Britney." He teases and I cross my arms.
"I was trying to get away from you!" I argue and he turns in his seat to face me.
"Really? Cause a few minutes ago you were kissing me-" I punch his shoulder before he can finish.
"Hey!" He laughs rubbing his arms.
"Then don't use that against me!" I re-cross my arms.
"Fine. But only because you aren't actually a bad kisser." He says chuckling with his tongue between his teeth. His lip ring shines from the sun.
"What's that suppose to mean? Did you assume I'm a bad kisser?" My eyebrows raise in confusion.
"It means I had never kissed you before today, so I didn't know if you are or not. It's not rocket science, Brit." I laugh a little before unbuckling my seat belt.
"Whatever you say, Zayn."
"Hey, you should text me if you get bored. I'm gonna be hanging with the girls, Louis, and Niall tonight. Probably gonna be boring as fuck, but it's better than sitting at home." He tells me and I laugh, but internally cringe at his language.
"Alright. But I don't have my phone on me." I tell him patting my pockets.
At this information, he reaches into his glove box and shuffles things around before pulling out a dark blue marker. Before I can question him, he grabs my bare arm and begins marking my skin with the ink. His hand writing is a neat kind of sloppy, and I find that he wrote his name in big print across my arm. I laugh and shake my head.
"Alright, I'll talk to you later then. Thanks again Zayn, bye."
I open the passenger door and step through.
"Bye, Brit." Is all he responds with, but I can sense the smirk on his face as I walk to my front door.
When I arrive, I step into the living room to find my mother waiting.
"Where were you?" She asked me and I realize I completely forgot to tell her I was leaving.
She had to be worried sick....
"I went for a walk with my friend. I'm sorry mom, I totally blanked telling you." This isn't going to end well...
"No really." I shift legs before answering.
"I said I'm sorry, mom."
"What's on your arm?" She asks and I touch my other hand to the ink, remembering.
"The friend I was with gave me their number, so we can talk more." I truthfully answer.
"Who?" She's looking for ammo.
"The guy you met a few days ago. Zayn." I retort dropping my arms.
"Britney, I don't want to be the mom that everyone thinks is too strict, but I have to be. You've been lying to me about where you're going, and failing to inform me about who you're hanging out with. I don't like the friends you've made. They're emo little weirdos that are turning you into a bad kid." My blood begins to boil.
"Emo little weirdo's? Mom! You're forgetting you're talking about my friends! They're the only people at this school so far to actually give me a chance. Please, don't speak about them like that!" She's silent before sighing and returning to cleaning up the living area.
I drag myself up to my bedroom before flopping on my bed with a sigh, and getting a small amount of shut eye. It's been a long day, and some of the events replay in my dreams.
Hey guys I love you and I love the universe ok bye