Hurt is something we hate the most. When we are young we don't understand it. Well, at least I didn't, the only hurt I knew was falling down and getting a cut or when someone hit me. I never new words could hurt my, not till the second grade, 2005. It was excited for the New Year to start, I had always liked school. Most kids don’t really like it, but I did.
I went to my room and I had an amazing first few months, then after that is where my seven years of pain started. It was an ordinary day and we were at lunch, we had just finished eating and we went outside to go play. The play ground was pretty big and there were only 3 teachers watching all of us.
I went towards the back of the play ground where the jungle-gym was, I always went there after lunch to go play with my friends. One of my classmates, Aldo had taken bag of popcorn outside with him. He came up to me and for some reason started to spit popcorn at me, I ran away and he chased me still spitting the pop corn at me. I pushed him away and hit him.
Of course a teacher saw me, and sent us both to the office. I had never been to the principal’s office. I told him what Aldo was doing and he ended up getting in trouble for it, but I still got in trouble for pushing and hitting him. I started crying, I didn’t know what was going to happen, and it was my first time getting in trouble. Luckily the principle didn’t call my mom.
That was the only good thing. After that day Aldo started to hate me. We had the same class together and he was a year older then I was. Since I was one of those girls who never really talked to anyone I really didn’t have that many friends. He on the other hand talked to mostly everyone. He started calling me these names, like big nose and parrot. I have always had a big nose; my mom would say I got it from my grandpa. I always believed it.
Aldo had all his friends calling me those names, and then he'd come up to me and ask me how I broke my nose. I soon then realized how the stuff he and his friends were telling me actually hurt. I had never new words could hurt. Even though he would tell me that stuff, I really didn’t let it get to me.
The rest of the year was good except what Aldo and his friends would tell me. The summer started and since I did not have a phone my summer went good. No one told me anything so I was happy. A few months later I started the 3rd grade. I was happy to see that Aldo was not in my class, but allot of his friends were.
That year everyday at lunch Aldo would come up to me and call me names, his friends would join in. I finally told my mom and she told me just to call him names also, but it was hard for me to tell him anything, because I liked him. Ever since then I had met him the year before. I finally got tired of him calling me names, so I started calling him dumbo, because he had really big ears.
I think that just made him even madder and he started calling me all these other new names. I tried to not let it bother me. All his friends soon started calling me these names also. I hated it, but something I hated the most is that no one would stand up for me.
People would watch and listen to them call me these names, and the acted as if I wasn’t even there. I think that even her the most. That year went buy slow, I don’t think I have one good memory from the 3rd grade.
The year of 4th grade was better, I had moved to Fort Stockten, Texas. It was way better there I had new friends and nobody even said a comment about my nose. I was so happy there. But 6 months later my dad had an accident and hurt his knee so we had to come back.
I went back to my old school, I don’t remember ever seeing Aldo that year, but everybody still called me names. This new guy had moved to town and he has asked me out, his name was Alex. I wanted to tell him yes, but people were making fun of me because he liked me. I told him no and I regret it bad.
That year I got phone, but I really didn’t talk to anyone. The school year finally ended and the summer started. I was glad that the summer didn't go fast. It was the only time I didn’t have to worry about being called names.
5th grade started and the same thing happy, but the only thing different was that a new girl had moved to town. Her name was Joanna De Luna, and that year we became best friends. I think my best friend before her got angry that I was spending a lot time with Joanna so she stopped talking to me.
The beginning of 5ht grade my teacher had died, for some reason I felt as if it was my fault. I’m not sure why. He was my 4th grade teacher and had followed you, I felt since he had followed me, it was my fault he died. I never told anyone, because people would think I was stupid or something.
We had to get new teachers and we had to start switching classes, they said it was because they wanted to prepare us for the next year. I just went along and kept my mouth shut. The year went on, but I was still getting bullied allot to the point I just didn’t want to live anymore.
I bought all these bracelets and would wear them 24/7. I never took them off. People thought I just worse these because I liked to, that what I told them. But nobody knew the real reason I had those bracelets, because under them were scares of hurt.
That year I was finally able to convince my mom to let me have a face book, WORSE MISTAKE EVR! The summer began shortly and I would be on face book allot of the time. That summer when by faster than all the other years. I was really sad because of it.
6 grade was horrible for me, for some reason allot of people didn’t like me. I would hate going to school every day. I felt everyone just judging me because I was different. Yeah I didn’t wear the branded name clothes, it’s not because I didn’t have money. I was just never into that stuff.
I remember me and this one girl in p.e did not like each other. We were playing basketball one day and she was just telling me stuff, so I pushed her and we got into a small little fight. No one saw, so we didn’t get into trouble. The funny thing is, is that after that we became really good friends.
That year I made allot of enemies, I didn’t even know why. The bullying just got even worse. people then started telling me stuff on facebook. I was getting into allot of argument on there. people were always wanting to fight me, but since my mom worked at the school. nobody ever did anything. that year I started cutting even more.
I then started to fall in love with reading, because it took me to a whole new world, and I was able to forgit about the real world. I spent most of my time reading. I started to notice I was losing more of my friends because I wasnt talking so much. I knew that was a bad thing, so I begain talking again. Later that year I got asked out again by a guy named Anthony, I told him no because I was already crushing on someone else.
Soon after that he begain to stalk me. I got a little creeped out, I dont think thats normal. After that day I rejected him he didn’t talk to me just leave me notes in my locker, one of the notes said, "I will always love you." That freaked me out really bad.
I was happy when the year ended, at least I thought. I had never had an exciting summer till this one. On July 24, I got my first boyfriend. His name was Rudy and he lived down the street from me. The first time I had ever seen Rudy is when he fell out of a tree a few years back. I knew from the beginning he wasn’t so smart.
I just didn’t know how bad he was. I remember being with him one day outside my house, we had this torn down R.V. Him, my little brother and I were outside by it. All of a sudden this truck came at me super fast, Rudy pulled me on to the R.V, the truck barely missed us. I looked over at Rudy, and by the expression of his face I could tell he already knew what was happening.
I told my little brother to go inside, one he did Rudy explained to me what was happening. It appears that Rudy was a part of a gang which was trying to hurt him. So by hurting him they went after the person he loved the most. Just my luck that was me.
Soon after that Rudy and I broke up, so I would be safe. The scary thing about it, it that he’d watch me with all the time without me knowing. I had another stalker, except this one knew where I lived.
7th grade started and it was one of the worst years I could ever imagine. 8th grader I didn’t even know would come down to the 7th grade floor just to call me names and make bird noises at me. I felt so alone that year, I stopped wanting to go to school, so I pretended to be sick. My mom knew what was going on. She went to the office, but there never did anything. The sad part about this is that I didn’t even know the names of these people.
I just wanted to give up on life, but I knew I couldn’t. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was scared to go to school, I had gotten into a fist fight with Joanna, and so I lost all my friends. I felt as if I had no one there for me. A few times I would just go home and cry, because people would just laugh as everyone else made bird noises or call me names. No one ever did anything nor stood up for me. Not even the teachers.
I hated life so much by then I was breaking down inside. I wanted it all to end already, i wanted to make them stop. I never did anything to them,, they just hated me. I just wanted to die, neither book nor writing were helping me. I was just so depressed. I wanted to run away and new look back.
One day while I was walking to my class, one of the girls that would bother me came up to me and started telling me stuff. I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I told her stuff back. If my mom hadn’t shown up I would have been jumped.
After that I stopped wanting to go to school. I would walk to my classes really fast, so I wouldn’t have to see anyone. Even by doing that they managed to still bother me. That year went by so slow and painful, towards the end of the year, I started thinking about suicide. I tried not to but I just did, my cutting became a lot worse that year also.
That summer I blocked over 20 people on face book because they would tag me in status and call me a whore, slut, bird, and just different names. I moved that summer to Monahans, and I went to school there for about a few months. I liked it there, no one was bothering I was perfectly happy. But it didn’t last. 3 month into my 8th grade year I had to move back to Del Rio.
I was so afraid to move to back, I didn’t even want to go to public school
I was able to get my mom to let me go to this school, called premier. It was a school for children 6 grade and up that didn't want to be in school any more, but for me I just want to get away. I loved it there within a few months I had finished the 9th grade and I was ahead of a lot of people there. I don’t remember anything bad happening that year, thank god.
Now I’m in the 9th grade going day by day, seeing new fears just trying not to give up. It’s been much easier since I don’t live in Del Rio anymore, kind of. I live now in Monahans again. There is drama just not like that one in Del Rio. I hope it stays like that, I would hate to go through that again.