You know, sometimes I simply find myself sitting by the window, looking at whatever lies ahead. I love the way the sun shines and the wind blows and for a second you feel okay. Even when you feel like all is lost, sometimes it just takes one simple glance out the window to realize the whole world is at your hands. You never truly realize it until its all about to end. I mean, you could wake up tomorrow and decide to run up to anyone and plant a kiss firmly on their lips and then walk away. You could choose to run into the ocean and swim until your body feels num. And sometimes, you could grab a gun and walk into a public place and just shoot whatever is in front of you.
That's what scares me.
You literally have the whole world at your fingertips and every single day is unpredictable. You could even wake up one day and everything you thought you knew, was just a lie. Simply, a cold, beautiful lie.
My eyes blinked slowly as I looked around the dimply lit room. Shadows filled every corner and I pulled the soft white covers up to my chin, hoping to block out any cold air. The thought of life always made me wonder. Its like one day we come into the world and are given a plan. And for the rest of our lives we follow that plan and then we die. Some are more fortunate than other and then some just live to die. Every single waking moment they want to take their life but theres always that one thing that stops them. Something so powerful that it can hold someone back from making possibly the worst decision of their life. And so I've thought, life is powerful. Life is something everyone wants, but then again, so is death.
"Fuck." I muttered to myself as I dashed into the school building, practically tripping over my own feet. Of course my alarm hadn't gone off on the day of my big test. The one day! I ran down the hall, practically slamming into someone. I quickly uttered an apology and continued to run.
"'t's alright love!" A raspy voice chuckled.
I looked over my shoulder and for a second I caught a glimpse of him. His dashing grey-blue eyes. His dark hair. But I knew the moment I saw the tattoos on his arm that it was bad news to even bump into him. Without another glance I ran down the hall and hurried into my English classroom where I stumbled to take my seat. My teacher gave me raised eyebrows but shook her head to herself. She handed me a test and I took out a pencil. It was weird, I had studied all month for this test but it was like I couldn't even remember a thing. Its like my mind was somewhere else. And before I knew it the bell had rung and I looked down at my paper that had only two questions filled in. As everyone else filed out of the classroom I looked at teacher with pleading eyes.
"Is it possible that I could retake this?" I pleaded.
My teacher sighed. "Under any other circumstance, I'd consider it but this was an exam. You came in late and you were clearly un prepared. What happened? You're my best student."
I looked down at the test paper then back up to her. "I um- I must've been lost in my thoughts the whole time."
"Yes, well next time you take an exam in my class, remember to bring a map so you can find your way back at least. Now off to your next class, you don't want to be late for that one either."
I nodded slowly and collected my things, hurrying out of the room. It wasn't long before lunch had arrived and I waited until the halls were clear before I made my way to my locker. As I was exchanging my books from morning to afternoon classes, I could feel the presence of someone next to me. It was him, the boy with the dashing eyes and the dark hair.
"You know, pretty girls like you shouldn't be running in the halls in the mornings." He chuckled.
I frowned. "And why do you care?" I asked as I shoved a binder in my locker.
"Oh I normally don't, you're just an exception seeing as you bumped into me this morning." He said.
I rolled my eyes. "What exactly to you want?" I asked bluntly.
"Well, you bumped into me this morning, I'd say you owe me a date." He said.
I began to laugh but as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he was serious.
"Look, you and me? Never going to happen." I told him. "We're complete opposites."
"Well you know what they say baby, opposites attract." He said, I could feel his hot breath on my neck.
I glared at him. "Call me baby again and your little friend may need a bandaid or two." I spat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."
I slammed my locker and was about to walk away when he ran ahead of me.
"You know, I never caught your name." He said.
"That's because I never told you, nor will I ever." I glared.
"Alright, I can play it your way. Jackson. Jackson Price." He grinned.
"Well Jackson, nice meeting you, or not. Now leave me alone." I said.
"So I'll pick you up at seven on friday?" He asked.
I stopped in my tracks. "What?! No! I'm not going on a date with you!"
"Why not? Afraid of me?" He chuckled.
"No, you're about as scary as an angry puppy." I frowned.
"Then prove it to me that you're not afraid of me by going on a date with me friday. I'll even make a deal with you. If when I bring you home friday, you still don't want to date me, then I'll get off your back and I'll leave you alone. But if you've changed your mind, well, we'll see where it goes." He grinned.
I narrowed m eyes at him. "Thats so stupid, why would I even think about doing that?"
"Because if you don't, I'll keep asking you every day until you leave this school." He smirked.
I fell silent but finally threw my hands up in the hair and sighed. "Fine! But only so you'll stop bugging me."
He winked at me. "See you friday then baby."
If only I had woken up early that day, not run into him. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now. I'd still have my family. My friends. Everything. Instead, I'm running. By now I could see the small ray of sunlight peaking thought the curtains and I knew I'd had another sleepless night. It was almost like I was an insomniac. I hardly ever slept anymore. I could hear the footsteps from outside the door and I knew Harry was up. Moments later the door open and closed downstairs and I knew he'd gone out on his run. Slowly, I shuffled out of bed and opened the door and walked out into the dark hallway. I walked downstairs and found my way into the kitchen. After looking through every cabinet I turned to the fridge where I simply grabbed a glass of orange juice. I found myself wandering into the livingroom, a room I hadn't even been in since my arrival. I'd pretty much kept to the kitchen and my room. I looked around and saw pictures of Harry and a woman, whom I assumed was his mum. I also saw tons of him and a girl who looked about his age, maybe a little older. As I moved around, I saw one picture of Harry and another guy, their arms around each other's shoulders. He had light brown hair and blue eyes that somewhat resembled mine, only mine were more bipolar. Sometimes as light as baby blue but then the next minute dark as the night sky. I frowned when I ran my finger along the dark, leather couch, a shade of coffee brown. I slowly lowered myself onto the couch but as soon as I sat, I felt I could never leave. It was like sinking into a pile of clouds.
"I take it you like my couch." I heard a chuckle from behind me.
I shot up from the couch and turned around, seeing Harry standing there.
"Sorry I um- I used to have a couch like that at my old house I just..."
"Rebecca." He chuckled. "Its absolutely fine. Like I said before, when you're under my roof, anything of mine is yours. Unless its in my room."
I sighed. "I'm sorry I just feel like I'm intruding."
He shook his head. "You're great company actually. Most girls that come around here are whiny and only want one thing."
I raised my eyebrows. "Most girls? Harry, I hope you learn quickly that I'm nothing like most girls."
He smiled slightly. "Good. I'm glad. Now, I noticed earlier that there is absolutely nothing in the kitchen. How about I go take shower and you accompany me to breakfast?"
I looked at him nervously.
"Rebecca, if you're worried about being seen at all, don't worry. There's hardly anyone out at six-thirty am." He told me.
I sighed. "Alright."
"Okay cool. I'll go shower and meet you down here when I'm done."
He jogged up the stairs and I was again left with a peaceful silence. I glanced at the couch and frowned at it. Just a stupid pile of leather holding too many memories.