We had been settled into our new home for a little over a month. Ari had fallen in love with her new surroundings and was beginning to understand why my stomach was growing. It wasn’t big but it was noticeable and despite Liam’s promise to the media dulling after a few weeks, it was only just starting.
The paps were head –over-heels for Ari and I. But not in a good way. My family was being attacked left and right by people I had never even heard of and the fan base was cracking. Fans from all over were angry with my pregnancy and were calling out management for their ‘not so funny joke.’ But it wasn’t a joke.
Photos of Ari and I were plastered on every magazine, and the TV’s did not have one gossip show that Harry’s outburst was not featured in. We had even tried to keep the engagement on the down low, but soon enough someone had gotten a close up of the ring when I was out at the grocery store.
“I can’t go anywhere.” I cried. Harry pressed his fingers to his temple, rubbing gently. “This has gone on too long. I have an interview today. I’ll set things straight.” He nodded to himself, deciding on his plan.
“Can I come?” I frowned, feeling claustrophobic in my own home. “I just need to get out. We've never been out as a family and I suppose this can be a test run.” He chuckled at the thought of an interview being out first family outing.
“Of course you can. I’ll make sure Paul stays with you behind stage. I’ll pack Ari’s bag, you go get a shower.” He kissed my cheek and ran up stairs to wake Ari from her nap and get her ready to go.
I appreciated Harry getting Ari ready and allowing me to have a quiet and care free shower, but something about today felt uneasy. I wanted this whole thing to be done with. I wanted to be liked and happy with my little family but I knew I couldn't do that unless Harry took control, which wasn't like him. He was very quiet when it came to addressing rumours, believing they would fade off eventually, but having his ‘girls’ involved- as he liked to call us- it made him feel like he should take control and confirm or deny things.
Harry drove us to the interview with surprisingly no problems. The paps weren’t surrounding our property and the fans weren’t standing outside the studio, which was very odd. Even Niall had noticed. “That’s weird.” They all agreed.
Being around the boys made my worries a little better; they protected us and treated us like family. I knew Ari was going to be raised around amazing role models who loved her dearly and even I could say that they adored me as well.
When we told everyone about the engagement, I expected everyone to cheer or even question our engagement, since we hadn’t been back together for very long. But I think they all knew our love and commitment for each other was as strong as a couple that had stayed together for many years.
They all cried. The girls and even the boys, hugging Harry and I, tickling and getting Ari excited even though the wedding wasn’t even being planned yet. They were happy for us, so, so, happy and I couldn’t appreciate their love and support more.
I walked into the studio and noticed that everyone was starting at me. I know I should think they were staring at the stars, but they weren’t. It was me. Their eyes were locked on me and my daughter and it made me feel so uncomfortable that I flipped my ring around so the diamond was facing my palm and it just looked like a silver band on my finger.
Not like that helped, some people tried to find it and when they did they whispered. Ari waved but no one waved back. At one point, someone took out their phone and tried to take a picture but Paul began shouting and demanded he delete whatever photo he took.
I was scared. I was very scared. My mind was racing, following Harry to hair and makeup. It was only then I could be calm, Ari sitting on me knee playing with a toy and I watched all five boys get their hair styled and face powdered.
“Have you heard from Bennie?” I shook my head, narrowing my eyes, wishing that I could call her and tell her about my amazing and not so amazing news.
“I’m sure she’s seen the news though. So she’s probably caught up.” I brushed my fingers through Ari’s curls.
Harry shook his head, “But most of that is all fake. You should call her and maybe plan to go up and see her. Invite her to the wedding or invite her to come stay with us for a week.” I nodded, thinking that perhaps calling her was the easiest way to go about it.
Once the boys were ready to go on stage to begin the interview, Harry kissed Ari and I, then followed everyone on stage, smiling at me before focusing on the interviewer. I watched him answer questions in his slow voice, taking longer than most to make up a sentence.
When they went on to talk about the tour, I didn’t want to hear it. Afraid I would break down at the thought of Harry leaving me. I know it’s selfish but having to have someone leave for long periods of time is hard. I would know and so would he. I knew eventually we would have to talk about it and work something out to see each other. He would be leaving before the baby is due, so he’d have to come back for the birth. I hoped.
I pulled my cell phone out, walking to stand behind the curtain. I dialed my parents home phone but no one answered. I refused to leave a voice mail so I called Bennie’s phone, but got the same outcome. I decided to leave a brief message, in hopes she would call me back. “Hey Ben, it’s me. I miss you and I have lots of explaining to do since you probably have seen the magazines and stuff. So, could you call me…Soon? Love you.”
I prayed that I would hear from her soon or maybe even see her, so I wouldn’t have to go on about such things over the phone, in person would be much better. But I would take what I could get in order to talk to my sister again.
“Are you okay?” Paul asked, making me jump a little.
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” I smiled, trying to focus back on the interview. Harry sat happily next to Zayn and listened closely to the question.
So Harry, do you want kids?" the interviewer pressed, hoping to unlock a new rumor. Harry shrugged, pinning his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger.
"Yeah, eventually." Ari let out a little squeal, almost as if she were pleased with his answer.
"Daddy!" she called, turning to laugh at me.
"Ari, shh!" I tried hushing her, but it was too late. the band turned to face us, Ari began waving. I guess my shield behind the curtain wouldn't work after all. Harry's face went white, eyes wide and he stood up, storming out of the interview, leaving the rest of the boys to stare at us in curiosity.
Harry walked up to me, taking Ari from my arms and walking back over to his seat. The boys waved at Ari but, like me, were not sure what was going on.
“This is my daughter, Ari. She’s two. I’m expecting another baby in about eight months, if he or she will stay on schedule. I plan to be back to help my beautiful fiancé, Maeve raise my two children. I am nineteen and perfectly happy with my life right now. You all my think I am crazy for having a child at nineteen, who was conceived when I was sixteen. You may think I’m crazy for wanting to marry the love of my life. And you may all think we do not know what love is. But I do. And love is wanting to fix the things that went wrong for the right person. Love is raising two children together. Love is coming back. And that’s what we’re doing. She is my forever.” Harry waved for me to come on stage, but I hesitated.
Paul nudged me forward and my feet did the rest, leaving my mind behind. The interviewer and crew looked at me in an odd way that I did not like at all. She smirked and looked at the camera. “You heard it here first. Harry is a father and in love!”
He squeezed my hand, but I don’t think I squeezed back. I felt a massive cramp in my side and groaned. Zayn looked up at me and stood up, holding me up. Everyone was on their feet trying to see if I was okay.
I grabbed my inner thigh, lifting my hand to see blood staining my fingers. Soon, Ari was in Niall’s arms and I was in Harry’s, running towards the car. He tells me everything is going to be all right. He runs his hands through his hair, not caring that his bandana is going to fall off or that his shirt is blood stained.
I can only see blurred figures, making out doctors and Harry. I don’t know where Ari is but I’m sure that I’m in a hospital. Soon I begin to fade in and out of consciousness.
But when I wake up, Harry is asleep in the chair next to my bed, or so I think. “How many bloody times are we going to end up in this hospital?” he smiled, his eyes still closed.
“How are you smiling? We just lost our baby.” I was sure I had a miscarriage, but Harry’s eyes shot open and ran over to comfort me. “I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to act all calm. The doctor doesn’t know if we lost the baby yet, he’s going to do an ultra sound as soon as he can. You stopped bleeding though… They said that was a good sign.”
I shook my head, feeling like shit. “I can’t believe I passed out.” I giggled, trying to cheer myself up. “You’ve never been good with blood.”
“I passed out when Ari was born.” I smile at the memory, unfortunately Harry couldn’t share that joy.
“I wish I had been there.” He smiled, trying to put himself in that situation, but failed.
“You will be soon….Hopefully.” tears trickled the corner of my eyes.
“Now, now, you’re very strong and so is our baby. Everything is going to be okay.” He kissed my forehead just as the doctor came in.
“Nice to see you again, Maeve.” He smiled, but I didn’t take his joke seriously. “No it’s not nice. I want to know if my baby is okay.” I snapped.
The doctor looked at me and then back down at his paper.
“I’m sorry. But you did indeed have a miscarriage. I wish I could bring you better news. I am so sorry, Maeve.”
My heart stopped. Harry’s eyes dropped to the floor and soon followed his knees. The doctor got up and walked out of the room, not staying to hear the cries that would soon come from us.
Harry stood up and sat on the bed, his cheeks were soaked with tears. I began to breathe heavily and when he turned to look at me, I broke down.
“I’m so sorry.” I cried. I fisted his shirt, pulling him close.
We sat crying for a very long time. Almost all night. No one came in to check if we were okay, I’m sure they could hear us from outside and didn’t bother to come calm us down. Harry cursed and held me close than he ever had before.
Our dream was gone, just like that.