Maeve took my answer in like it was a breath of fresh air. Her eyes gleamed and her mouth had sparked into a pleasant smile. A smile that I missed seeing.
I was happy I could give her such pleasure, she deserved that much. I know that it was her choice to leave but I always felt it was my fault for not chasing after her.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never look into my future and not see her and Ari. Thousand of times I had pictured us happy in our flat. Ari looked about five and Maeve's swollen belly indicated another child. One I would be there for since day one.
I had never had feelings about a girl like this. I always knew that Maeve and I had something not many people did, but since sex in the hotel- more like making love than anything- I had felt so connected to her.
It was like she ran through my veins, keeping me alive and touching me in any way possible. She was my life line.
The night in the hotel was beyond my dreams. The way she moved and smiled, or sighed and held in a moan so she wouldn't wake Ari, was how I wanted to see her. Forever.
Even with my sweaty body clung to her, those smooth and sculpted legs wrapped around my waist, hands running through my hair like and tugging every time her head threw back.
I loved every inch of her body. From the tip of her nose to the little scar on her big toe from when she cut it on a piece of glass. Those were the littlest things that made me want to make love to her over and over again, just to study her body and be happy that she was in my arms, wanting me and no one else.
It gave me a content feeling, looking over at her and watching her peer out the fogged window as we drove to Zayn's. A smile on her face but tears rushing from her eyes. I had her and I didn't plan on letting her go ever again.
"Hello beautiful!" Perrie cooed, scooping Ari up in her arms and rocking her around. She giggled at Ari's faces when she twisted her nose ring around.
"She looks just like you, mate." Zayn smiled, watching Perrie slide her engagement ring off her finger and onto Ari's. It was obviously much too big, but the light reflecting off the diamond made Ari smile.
"Have you told anyone other than us? The paps will have a grand time with this news." he chuckled. I shook my head, squeezing Maeve's hand in reassurance.
"No, not yet. We want to try and keep this a secret for as long as possible." I would check any gossiping websites every hour on the hour to make sure nothing had got out. The only article that had shaken me was that the news about mine and Stacey's breakup had gotten out and rumors were stirring pretty fast.
"That's the best way to keep it. You don't need poor Ari stuck in the middle at such a young age. Or Maeve being pulled into something she can't help!" Perrie shot Maeve a soft smile and got a reflection of hers in return.
"Thank you for letting us stay tonight. It really means so much." she thanked them, smiling at Zayn and then to Perrie.
"Oh, love, it's our pleasure. I couldn't imagine your situation right now." Zayn leaned in to give Maeve a hug, which caught her a bit off guard but she eventually caught up.
It was silent for a moment after, it wasn't that Maeve didn't want to hug Zayn but I think she was feeling awkward. I knew something was up but didn't want to bring up an issue in front of everybody, especially if she didn't want to talk about it.
"Um, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go unpack..." she trailed off, feeling like she made a mistake.
"I can put Ari to bed tonight, babe." I offered.
"Thank you." she leaned up and kissed me before Perrie handed Ari to me and escorted Maeve upstairs to our room for the next two weeks.
"Is it a nice place?" Zayn asked, walking with me into his living room.
"Gorgeous, it's just the right size. Three bedroom... two bathroom..." I went on about the detail of the house, talking about how happy Maeve was when she had decided that was the house for her but unfortunately found myself going back to why we ended up in a hotel.
"Her sisters moving back to Holmes Chapel?" Zayn questioned, seeming concerned.
"Yeah, I feel terrible. She's the only person she has here. And when we go back on tour in the next few months, I don't know what I'm going to do." I thought about leaving her, if Bennie was here it wouldn't be so bad, but she'd be completely alone.
I'd see if Gemma or mum would come up and stay with her but they have their own lives and Maeve would never allow it.
"I'm sure by then Bennie will be back and living in London." he tried to reassure me but I shook my head.
"No, Zayn. I think she's there for good..." I remembered her wrists and decided it was best to tell Zayn.
"Don't say anything," he nodded. "but I think Bennie left because she's been... cutting..." I told him about the scars and the constant crying and even about Jordan.
He shook his head, saying "That's crazy, man. Maybe Maeve can come with us."
I had already considered that. "Ari couldn't do it. If she were a bit older maybe." Zayn nodded, understanding where I was coming from.
"So... Are you guys going to get married? Have any more kids?" Perrie asked, placing a plate of food in front of me. I thanked her, but nearly choked when she had asked.
"Um... We haven't talked about it." I blushed.
"You guys haven't had sex yet?" Zayn chuckled.
"I-I never said that..." I had to be as red as Zayn's shirt right now. Why were they making this so awkward? If I wanted pressure and embarrassment I would have stayed at Niall's. He was the king of awkward.
"Zayn!" Perrie slapped his chest, raising an eyebrow at his constant personal questions. He shrugged, winking at me.
"I mean, I'd love to marry her. I'd love to have another kid with her." I looked over at Ari who was throwing Perrie's makeup brushes around.
Perrie giggled, watching her too. "I just want to be there for her 110%. I don't want to find out about kid number two a year after they were born. I want to be with Maeve for the rest of my life. I love her."
I guess admitting that to other people was also a way to admit it to myself. It gave me another dose of happiness that I couldn't put into words until now.
I was in love with Maeve. Crazy and unconditionally in love with her.
I sat at the end of the queen bed in the room Harry and I would be sharing for the next two weeks, until we could move into our beautiful new flat.
Thinking about starting a new life with Harry gave me intense butterflies, some were from happiness and others from nerves.
What if he didn't like living with me? What if I didn't like living with him? These constant questions ran through my head since we made the buy final.
I stood up, looking out the window at the posh neighborhood Zayn and Perrie lived in. I missed Bennie. I missed calling her or seeing her. She was my sister and without her I'm not sure where I'm going to go.
I knew Harry would be leaving for tour at some point. I couldn't depend on Perrie or Gemma to come and save me. I needed to get out, get an education and socialize.
My job as a waitress was beginning to fade away, my shifts were no longer constant and my manager never asked me to waiter the busy tables- which is what I was best at.
I ended up dropping out of my online courses. I needed to take care of Ari and my life right now was too hectic to add another priority atop of raising a daughter.
I heard Harry hush Ari as he walked her up the stairs. I peeked out the door that was opened just enough for me to see him walk her into the spare bedroom Perrie had set up for Ari.
If we were ever to decide godparents, I knew Perrie and Zayn would be top on my list.
Quietly, I walked over to the tiny room. It wasn't much bigger than a walk in closet, but it was big enough for a little bassinet and Ari's bags.
I watched Harry, he wrapped her in blankets and rocked her back and forth, humming and whispering sweet little compliments that she couldn't understand in her ear.
She yawned and cuddled into his chest, his thumb drew patterns on her cheek and his body swayed. He hummed the sweetest melody I had ever heard.
"Daddy loves you." he smiled, tucking her in. When he turned to leave I scurried back to our room as if I had seen nothing.
He was such an amazing father.
"Hey, Mae." I jumped, finding his two eyes staring at me.
"Hey, Harry." I smiled, moving to sit on the bed.
"Are you okay?" he asked, following me and sitting beside me.
I nodded, but he knew better. "What's wrong?" he asked. His hand finding my leg.
"I miss, Bennie." I said faintly, surprised he even heard.
"I know, baby." his strong arms wrapped around me, comforting me. We just sat and looked at each other for a long time, listening to Perrie and Zayn giggle and talk down stairs about their bands.
It was very cheeky, but it was very much like him.
Harry stood up slowly, eyes locked on mine. He quickly but quietly shut the door and then made his way back to me, faster.
He smirked and jumped on me, his hands pinning mine above my head. He laughed the most beautiful notes and his eyes lit up my sad life.
"Nothing will ever take me from you." he promised, leaning in and kissing me gently but soon in a way that let me know this was going to be a remake of the hotel.
The way he made love to me, was so beautiful and romantic. Making love with Harry was every definition of the term.
*ONE WEEK LATER*
"So when's my next shift?" I asked, Linda, who was the new restaurant manager. Her eyes narrowed as she watched me pack my things into my purse and slide on my coat.
"Maeve... I... I don't think we'll be needing you much anymore." she frowned.
"I can take whatever shifts you want. Even if they're not constant." I looked at her, confused.
"Maeve... I'm letting you go." my heart stopped for what seemed like minutes. But when it began beating again, I wished it hadn't.
"W-why?" I asked, sounding like I was begging for an answer.
Linda shook her head, searching through pages as if she were looking for something, when it was obvious she was trying to ignore my question.
"I don't think you're pulling your weight around here." she sighed.
"I've just been feeling a little under the weather this week, that's all." my eyes searched for another chance but Linda's eyes were dark and cold.
"I'm sorry, Maeve." she spun on her heel and walked out, leaving me in the staff room to collect my things.
"Fuck!" I slammed my hands on the steering wheel, incredibly pissed at Linda and myself.
"I'm so fucking dumb!" my raging f-bombs and curses towards myself went on forever, not stopping until my blurred vision cleared in time for me to spot a cat scurrying across the road.
I slammed on my breaks and the watery road caused my tired to slip and slide. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" I screamed, leaning my head against the steering wheel and crying.
I sat in the middle of the country road for hours, just crying. I should have been home long ago and Harry's ongoing texts were becoming more worried.
But I couldn't talk to him, I had failed him.
"Harry sent you a picture message!"
My phone lit up and I slid the message open. There was Ari, smiling wide with one tiny tooth peeking between her gums. I smiled wide, Harry's faced pressed to hers, mimicking her adorable smile.
I began pulling myself together, thinking about my daughter and how Harry could take care of us. I could use this time off to get back into school, become a journalist or an artist. Maybe even a chef.
I smiled, shaking off my sadness. I looked around, ready to start off to Zayn's to see my beautiful family...
Two headlights came from the right side, bright as the sun but feeling like a trillion knifes cutting through my skin at once. All over. Everything went black.
But I could still see the picture of Ari and Harry.