"This is ridiculous."
"Daaave, stop fidgeting!"
"Why shouldn't I be? This suit is gripping the shit out of me."
"Well it is a little tight, I will admit. . . "
"Why John, you're smiling while saying that! Should I call scandal?"
"How is it scandal? I'm allowed to appreciate my mate in a very well fitting suit!"
"'Well fitting'? What the fuck happened to tight? And get your mind out of the gutter Egbert, this is a professional event."
"It wasn't ever even in the gutter, I was just saying a fact!" John said in a very strained whisper, having to fight not to draw attention to him nor Dave.
The chapel around them was quiet, bar a few people in the pews whispering as the priest spoke loudly. The wedding itself was actually quiet beautiful, in John's opinion. The stain glass windows on either side were pouring light into the place, and everyone wore some sort of smile. There was wonderful food, friends and family, lovely music, and was all together just wonderful. It would most likely be a lot better, however, if Dave would stand still and quiet down.
"Your suit looks fine," John admonished, "Now be quiet for two minutes until this is over and everyone starts throwing rice."
"I thought that made birds stomachs explode and shit."
"Wow, what a romantic you are."
"Why do I need to be a romantic? Just because we're in a church and at a wedding doesn't mean I have to be a romantic."
"Because all of our family and friends are here to watch this and right now whispering at each other seems to be a little rude?"
"Mostly your friends."
"How is it mostly my friend? It's the other people that were in our groups, and they're all paired up as it is. Sollux and Eridan, Jade and Fef, and Karkat and Terezi."
"Wait, Terezi's the reason that Karkat stopped being such a dick?" Clicking his tongue, Dave smirked, "Makes a lot of sense. But I still can't believe we're doing this in Washington. Why couldn't this just happen in Texas?"
"Because Egberts love tradition," John said, and reaching over he pinched Dave's side once before the blonde just glared at him behind his shades. While his remained in place on his face, a pair of pointed shades stuck out of his breast pocket along with a white rose, giving him the picture perfect finish of being one of the two current best men. Turning his attention away from his mate, Dave looked back at his Bro, who was currently standing in front of James, the two of them looking like absolute idiots and smiling widely while Bro's hands stayed shoved in his pockets and James' hands were crossed respectfully in front of him.
While John's father was perfectly suited up, down to the black tie and silver tie pin, Bro had gone for a bit more of a relaxed look. AKA no tie, the first two buttons of his shirt undone, and an orange rose (something that James had looked all day for and ended up getting tackled in the living room by his Fiancé over while John just laughed and Dave took a picture) sticking out of his breast pocket.
While weddings were hardly needed, considering that when people found their mate they had a tendency not to stray, they were still quite popular. It was a persons own way of dictating 'Look, I'm set, I've got what I've wanted for the rest of my life' while also having a reason to show off one of the most important people in your world. Common practice and expected once you found your mate, yes, but none the less special.
Bro had moved up to Washington merely a month after him and James met, while John continued to go to college in Washington and talk to Dave daily, who was still down in Texas. They visited each other as often as possible, but between schooling it was more of a treat than anything, so this wedding was its own blessing in disguise.
The reason that Brodrick and James were getting married was this: One day Bro threw a ring as James and told him to put it on, resulting in the most half assed engagement of the century while the younger of the two just blushed in embarrassment as James laughed.
Which then, in turn, led to a candle lit dinner and an actual, down on one knee proposal by James himself.
That had been about six months ago, and the wedding itself had been one of the most exhausting experiences of John's young life. His father had been told, "Not to worry about a thing!" by Jade and Uncle Harley, while they pulled John into helping them. It had ended up taking up most of John's time outside of school, and the worst part of all; John had to make the food.
John had to make the cake, in particular.
The first time he saw Dave in nearly a year and the first comment his mate had was, "You smell like buttercream, holy shit."
Speaking of Dave, he was speaking again, and John leaned in respectfully, his eyes still on their guardians as they slipped on a pair of matching rings.
"I've hardly ever seen my Bro even smile, what the fuck did your Dad do to him?"
"Made him happy?" John challenged, raising an eyebrow as he wore a winning smirk.
"You make me happy and I don't go dipping around with some goofy grin on my face."
"Well maybe I need to try harder then."
"Wait, you're not even trying at this point? Where is this relationship going?"
"I love you."
I now pronounce you legally wed," The priest said in a thick voice, and the place positively erupted in cheers and clapping as Bro, ever the romantic, dipped James before kissing him, the older of the two laughing too hard to even kiss back as Dave just looked at his mate, a stupid smile making its way onto his lips.
"John! It's wonderful!" James was wearing a comfortable smile as he walked over to the cake that was currently at the center of the snacks table, a three tiered white monster that could have fed a small city. Of course, it was baked to perfection, with a good amount of detailing that just caused Dave to look on in awe. Instead of having the two small figures on top, however, John had simply crafted curls of colored sugar, black and orange which stood a few good inches on their own.
"Yeah, well," John laughed, giving his father a hug in congratulations, "My house reeking of baked goods was kind of worth it."
"Kind of?" Bro questioned, quirking up an eyebrow over the shades that were now back in place.
"Don't be that person," Dave commented, and Bro chuckled before looping his arm through James'.
"Being that person is my destiny, little man, you should know that by now. Questions are my forte. Also, speaking of questions, have you-" Bro had begun to turn to Dave when he got a hand to the middle of his face, Dave looking as calm as usual while Bro's glasses were hit askew, causing him to look at Dave with an amused expression.
"Nope," Dave chirped, his hand staying in place against Bro's mouth and nose.
"But you're gonna?" Bro questioned, sounding muffled.
"If you stop ruining it," Dave said, glaring behind the tinted plastic.
"I haven't said shit, how could I have already ruined it?"
"What did we miss?" John asked, and Bro began laughing as Dave just sighed, his expression becoming pinched as his hand dropped.
"Nothing," Both Striders answered in unison, and apparently as a distraction, Bro decided to jump in.
"Yeah, well, as much as I would just love to sit around and shoot the breeze, I have to go and do some slow dance crap that Jade has set up." Tipping his head, he pulled James away while the older of the two chuckled, already taking the leading position once they made it to the center of the dancefloor.
John watched them walk away in utter confusion before turning towards Dave, staring him down. "What was that?"
"What was what?" Dave answered aloofly, glancing in John's general direction as he leaned slightly on the snacks table.
"Bro said you had a question to ask."
"He's confused. Lovestruck and idiotic, that's my Bro-"
"He really should learn how not to run his mouth, it's not healthy, seriously, can lead to some major complications later on in life-"
"Meaning when he's too old to make decisions and I decide to pull the plug on his ass-"
He was forced to shut up when lips met his own, and hating that he actually relaxed, Dave let out a small annoyed noise, his glasses being slipped of his face against his will. When John pulled away, he looked at him again, his eyes narrowed as blue met red.
"Ask the question, would you?"
The words sounded so crisp on their own little bubble, away from the music and the crowd, and Dave just sighed before scrunching up his nose slightly.
"You can say no if you want," He reminded, and damn it was a lot harder to look relaxed without shades on.
"Okaaaay," John assured, beginning to smile a little.
"And this is all hypothetical, obviously."
"Yeah, got it."
"Well you know how I live in Texas?" Dave started, and John actually laughed, nodding.
"Yeah, I think I remember that small detail of our relationship," He snorted, and looking up and seeing that Dave appeared to be a little more serious, John forced the smile away, nodding once more and looking at his mate, "But yes. I do."
"Well-" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small piece of folded paper, handing it over. John's brow furrowed as he began to unfold it, watching Dave shuffle awkwardly out of the corner of his eye. The moment it was open fully, Dave spoke again, "Would you be okay with having a roommate?"
The acceptance letter, which allowed Dave to transfer from University of Houston to Seattle University, fell to the ground as Dave was practically tackled, the pair of them falling to the floor.
From the other side of the room, Bro chuckled to himself, his forehead still resting against James'. "They're both idiots," He commented, watching as Dave laughed, his head falling back against the floor while John hugged him tightly.
"Should we go congratulate him on his transfer?" James offered, but the smirk he wore as he pulled Bro over to the snacks table made the blonde narrow his eyes.
"I don't know, should we?" He questioned, their footfalls lost in the music. James remained silence for the total of the twenty seconds it took to get over to where John and Dave were still sitting on the floor before Bro began to feel uneasy.
"What are you thinking?" He questioned, and the moment the words were out of his mouth a foot fell in front of his own, jerking harshly and suddenly enough that he fell backwards, his hand shooting out to James' lapel and dragging him down as the two crashed into the cake, knocking over the snacks table entirely.
Struggling to sit up as John and Dave began practically roaring with laughter, Bro dug his shades out of a mess of Devils Food cake before looking at his husband, the man wearing a winning grin as he began to wipe frosting off of his face.
"I hate you so much," Bro muttered, feeling, no pun intended, caked in the heavy food as he reached out, drawing war paint onto James' face in white frosting.
"Love you too, darling," He responded, booping a dollop onto Bro's nose before kissing his forehead with a laugh.