Three in the morning on a Wednesday and John couldn't be bothered to even stop talking to Turntech.
EB: you know, i'm actually kind of surprised.
EB: yeah. out of all of the usernames, yours seemed the most tame, and you kinda seem like the rebel of the group.
TG: if turntech godhead sounds tame to you i don't want to know your definition of wild is
EB: thornberrys. that is the very definition of wild right there, stranger.
TG: oh my god
TG: that show
EB: was a masterpiece?
TG: my bro wouldnt let me watch it for such a long time
TG: reminded him of some guy
EB: no way, really?
TG: i didnt get to watch it until i turned thirteen god damn
EB: why thirteen?
TG: i really dont think the age had any significance
TG: i just didnt get to watch the damn show until i was in my early teenage years
EB: but come on, you gotta admit, it's pretty great!
TG: it is pretty great ill give you that
EB: so what, did your bro just block you from using the tv or something?
TG: not the tv as a whole
TG: just the one show
TG: he blocked it
EB: wow, must have been pretty serious then.
TG: yeah apparently it was this dude who traveled all the time
TG: he stopped by texas and bro met him but died or some shit after he left
TG: whatever it was he lost contact him and probably just assumes that the old guy is dead
TG: when i got into my early teens i figured out the parental controls
EB: my dad never found the need to use them, he kind of trusted me from the moment he got me.
TG: thats some iron trust
TG: the access to television programs
TG: bro was very careful with us
TG: but we still turned out pretty mutually fucked up
EB: did your bro raise you?
TG: closest thing to a dad i have
TG: taught me the ways of irony as an infant
TG: taught me how to strife
EB: strife? you had fights with your older brother?
TG: well yeah
TG: up on the rooftops
EB: i'm not really good with the whole sibling thing, but that sounds a bit extreme.
EB: what do you mean 'well yeah'?! other people don't do that!
TG: of course its extreme
TG: thats how this family is
EB: wow, you guys are pretty much the exact opposite of me.
EB: my dad and i are pretty laid back.
TG: the complete opposite huh
TG: so you have home cooked meals every night
TG: go to bed early without a single huff of disagreement
EB: yeah, usually. he loves cooking. although there is a lot of cake throwing. and pranks.
TG: pranks you say
TG: youve got yourself a pranksters gambit
TG: damn ive always wanted one of those
EB: well of course! pranking is in my blood!
EB: i think.
EB: i wouldn't really know.
EB: but i like to think that it is.
TG: ive built up my irony to high to get me one of those
TG: in your blood
TG: id have a doctor check that out man
TG: sounds pretty serious
EB: it really is a concern.
EB: so judging by the context, i'm guessing you guys don't really do the whole 'home cooked meal' thing?
TG: hell no
TG: we had takeout nearly every night of the week
TG: and the nights that we didnt were usually special occasions
EB: how are you not dead? that's so unhealthy!
EB: then again that's coming from a guy who's dad bakes cakes literally every single day.
TG: trust me i know
TG: the only reason none of us are morbidly obese is because of our crazy metabolisms
TG: wait your dad bakes cakes every single day?
TG: thats precious
EB: yeaaaaaaaah. no. no it's not. i hate cake so badly because of it. i can't even stand the smell.
TG: aw man I would eat that cake
TG: how could you hate it?
TG: well of course besides the fact that you were probably raised on it
TG: i could see how that would get pretty tiring after a while
EB: i used to really love cake, because when i was really little it was only ever a treat item. but when he got me, he decided that since i loved it, he'd make it constantly.
EB: i was all chub until i was about 8 and decided that all cake was directly from hell.
TG: that is adorable
EB: shut up, it is not.
TG: it totally is
EB: well now every time i'm back from college he keeps trying to force feed me cake, saying that i'm too thin and stuff. which doesn't make sense, because he's thin too. eh.
TG: poor old guy just loves you
TG: you told him you love cake
TG: he fucking remembered
EB: oh my god he's so not old that's the worst part. he's like, 38.
TG: well hes older than you
TG: older than i am
TG: therefore he is an old man for the time being
EB: that doesn't make him old. that just makes him /older/.
TG: give your old man an embrace from me
TG: he gets a gold star
TG: A+ parenting
EB: feeding your child cake for most of their lives is not good for them!
EB: but he really is an amazing dad.
TG: my bro is a badass
TG: so hes got that going for him
EB: you know i just realized something
TG: whats that then?
EB: you haven't used a single metaphor this entire conversation
TG: well then shit thats my cue
EB: wait you can't just leave because of that!
TG: i can and i will
TG: a lack of metaphors is unhealthy as piss
EB: wait isn't pissing healthy though?
EB: i feel like that should be a natural act.
TG: that and its four in the morning here and i have class
TG: talk to you later dork
EB: fiiiiiiiine. talk to you tomorrow!
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:32 --
Dave gave a small smile, yawning before dropping his phone to the floor, passing out sprawled across his futon near instantly.