The Struggle to Rise


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3. Anchors of Love

There was a time where those anchors weren't sinking me under. Where they were more like rising than they were of sinking. All because one person helped me rise. They had the strength to pull me up from the water. They helped me stop drowning and I could finally breathe after a long time.

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Last year on March 30th, I met a girl named Savanna. We met each other on Facebook from friends. She sent me a message one day saying hey. The moment I saw her, something in me triggered. The feeling of true love at first sight. The moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew I would be in love with her for the rest of my life. We both talked that day and had a few laughs. The next day, she knew I liked her and I told her I did. She then said to me, "I like you to :)." I then asked her if she wanted to go out with me. Her response made me very happy. It was yes. I then got her phone number and we both texted each other all day everyday. We would call each other and we would be there for each other if there was something going on that put us in bad moods. She saved my life. She convinced me not to commit suicide. We were both happy together. I would send her long text messages of what my heart thought of her.

In the summertime in June, we met for the first time. We were a long distance relationship. She was 100 miles from me. Anyways, we met at walmart in the garden section. We both gazed into each other's eyes and we were very happy to have each other in our lives. She was very shy though. So was I. I was probably more shy. Then we started going on more dates with each other. Then I didn't get shy around her anymore. I would be playful around her and I would attack her with kisses and I would tickle her when she least expected it :).

But, when I left Tennessee, a couple months later, we had arguments.. They were mainly my fault. I was stressing over her cheating on me and several other reasons. I was scared of losing her. My past relationships made me have trust issues sometimes. I had several knives in my back. I didn't want another one in me and I could tell if I did have one from her, it would be a big knife. Everyday we argued. I wish I could go back in time to stop that.

Then, we broke up on October 7, 2013. My anchors became attached to me again. I sank faster than I ever did. She was sorry, but she couldn't take the arguments. I understand why she left.

Then, she met a guy. I got jealous and I felt like I was a horrible boyfriend towards her. But I still respected her and we were still friends. I didn't yell at her. I actually tried to give her advice so she could date him. But inside I was jealous and I was sorry for how I acted. I was also angry towards myself for acting that way.

She said she was also hurting inside and she was scared to ask me back out because she thought I would say no.

Then, a couple months later on November 25th, 2013, we got back together. I was very happy she would give me another chance. Me and her were very happy together. We promised to never let arguments like that ever get that worse. My anchors started rising, but at a slow rate. She helped me when I needed it. She was a wonderful girlfriend. I would do anything for her.

Today, me and her still date. She said she wants to spend her whole life with me and I want to spend my whole life with her as well. I don't ever plan on leaving her. I want to be her husband. She means everything to me. I love her with all

My hear and soul <3.

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