The Struggle to Rise


4. Abandonment

My father never was there for me. I shouldn't even call him my father. A father is someone who is there for their son. But mine wasn't.. He never saw me.


I am from Sacramento, California kinda. My mom lived there. My mom met my dad in high school. They dated for a few months. Then he became very angry and he had lots of issues. He controlled her as well. He would always make her throw away any Marilyn Manson or Korn or Slipknot CDs She had. She would get hit and abused and cheated on. Then, my mom got pregnant at 15. Then in late pregnancy she had me in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. When I was born, my father never was there at my birth. He never visited me. He never talked to me. He threatened to kill me and my mom.

My mom had to raise me. When I asked about my dad she would lie to me. But then one day she told me the truth. I was traumatized. I didn't know what to think. I thought about it a lot. I was very depressed and angry about him. Anytime anybody mentioned him I would get very angry. Like one time some stupid guys kept making jail jokes about my father (my father was in jail several times) anyways, he made jail jokes and it made me very angry.. My life was greatly affected because of my dad.

It still affects me now. I think a lot about it. I think why would he never visit me or why he never talks to me. I wish I knew. I want to meet him one day and talk to him face to face. He has lots of questions to answer. At night, sometimes I can't sleep because of the thought of him.

I honestly think I am going to be affected from him for my whole life..


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